What does it mean to be a natural parent? Is “natural” parenting natural? Childbirth without pain relief and stimulation

Katya Khlomova, child and family psychotherapist: Ideas have turned mothers’ heads relatively recently. This style of parenting criticizes the traditional approach to childhood and offers as alternatives home birth, breastfeeding, slinging, planting, refusal of traditional medicines and vaccinations, complementary feeding from the common table instead of baby purees, and home schooling as an alternative to kindergarten and school.

That is, the scheme tends to return to one’s roots and reject many of the gifts of civilization as something that comes between mother and baby. The new scheme, by and large, divided mothers into two camps - admirers and opponents of natural parenthood.

When my daughter was very young, I, like many other mothers, searched the Internet for answers to various questions. And I realized that no answers. There are two opposing tribes, each of which zealously defends its truth: traditional parents and “natural” ones.

In fact, these two camps are not only a way of treating children. This is a worldview, a way of life.

I gravitated more towards the “naturalists”. Looking back, I think this approach gave me a lot in terms of being able to understand my daughter and be sensitive to her needs. But now it seems to me that natural parenting would be more suitable for a mother who has at least minimal outside help. Otherwise, your whole life begins to revolve around the baby. I couldn’t afford to console my daughter with a pacifier or put her in a playpen. Because... I considered it almost a crime! And it is very exhausting physically and emotionally. That is, of a sort, luxury be with your child 100% every second.

Natural parenting is an idea that leaves the mother very little of her own personal space - her bed, her plate, her moment. And here the resources must be very well thought out. Where does energy come from?

It also seems important to me that supporters of conscious parenting have a greater chance of “slipping” into a feeling of guilt, which is so destructive for the child. Because in this concept, the mother owes the child a lot, if not “everything.” There seems to be a claim to being ideal. But as a child psychologist, I know that for successful development a child needs an ordinary mother. Preferably calm. Let it be with its shortcomings.

There's a catch to this too. Because the theory of natural parenthood itself most likely does not require the mother to be perfect. But the initial idea of “closeness” to the child is erased behind external attributes: breastfeeding, slings and co-sleeping. After all, you can fulfill the task of intimacy without this, or you can not fulfill it with all this.

The first thing that I, an inexperienced mother, learned for myself was exactly the actions that I should do. That's how it was for me. And here I do not at all pretend that this was the case for everyone.

For me there was a lot in this concept obligations and little choice. In my immense trust in everything I read, at some point I replaced the thought “ I know what's best" on " Natural Parenting Knows Best».

It turns out that the style, which initially involves following one’s instincts, eventually came between me and my instincts. “What kind of loving mother am I, since I don’t drop off my child?” - but any philosophy will sooner or later become a prison.

The main pitfall for me turned out to be this:

the message that “No one knows better than mom” is promoted. But in fact the texts not about supporting mom's intuition, but about how should act good mom.

Now I think that the essence of this parenting style, in fact, was not contempt for walkers, but the ability to listen to yourself and the baby, feel each other and do as your intuition tells you.
Some of my acquaintances, ardent “naturalists,” only allowed themselves to give the child a pacifier and put on a diaper for their third childbirth. Because it saves energy. But this third child is no less beloved.

There may be another extreme here. It is easy to blame one’s own responsibility on an “imperfect theory.” Therefore, I would like to say that, of course, everything was built by me myself. Theory is just a tool in the hands of each of us. This was the case in my case.

At this point some conclusions need to be drawn. But I don't really want to. Because any result of someone else’s experience is a trap for a new person. The ideal theory of education, perhaps, is that with maximum information, leave the last word for yourself. Nobody knows better than ourselves.

PHOTO - Yulia Zalnova

You might be surprised when you read the title.. Is there still some kind of motherhood? Artificial or unnatural? After all, the very function of procreation is inherent in us by nature, it would seem that this is more natural...

In fact natural motherhood , or natural parenthood , this is a parenting style that is as close to natural as possible. As much love and care as possible, instead of prohibitions and restrictions, the absence of various devices that, according to modern mothers, make life easier with a child, no mixtures or medications.

Let's take a closer look at basic principles of natural motherhood . Perhaps, without knowing it, you are already applying some of them in your life, and you will take some of them into service after reading our material.

We will tell you what the portal thinks UAUA.info These principles have unconditional advantages, but some nuances cause us doubt. Perhaps the most important thing in this case is find a middle ground in each of the postulates, listen to your intuition, attitude and desires of your baby.

Pregnancy without unnecessary medications

"Behind". Adherents of natural motherhood are sure that if the baby is born prepare well , then there will be no problems with the course of pregnancy.

What should the expectant mother do first:

visit a gynecologist;
take the necessary blood tests to exclude possible problems and diseases in the future;
conduct an examination of the thyroid gland, liver, kidneys;
tidy up your back and veins;
treat existing chronic diseases;
lead a healthy lifestyle;
exercise;
Healthy food;
be positive.

« Against» . Yes, it’s difficult to argue with any of the above points, but what to do , if the situation has developed in such a way that despite the preparation, there is still a threat of failure and in order to save the child it is necessary to use the entire arsenal of traditional medicine?

In this case, it is unlikely that the expectant mother will want to experiment and take risks.

Synthetic vitamins are also not welcome. But what then to do with the research on the need for admission? What should those mothers do who have severe toxicosis and can only support their body with the help? Most likely, a pregnant woman will have to look for answers to these questions on her own.

Childbirth without pain relief and stimulation

"Behind". Supporters of natural motherhood believe that proper natural childbirth should take place in a calm and favorable environment for the baby and mother.

And, of course, no medications, for example, that speed up the process of dilation of the uterus - everything should happen only naturally.

Natural childbirth is the key to a good physiological and psychological state of the child.

« Against» . Whatever one may say, a maternity hospital is an unfamiliar place for a pregnant woman, there are foreign walls around her, doctors who are unlikely to demonstrate miracles of understanding.

Therefore, the best place for a natural birth is considered to be your home, apartment, or your bathroom. Are you willing to take this risk?

But what if things don’t go completely according to plan and some complications arise that require medical intervention? If there is no qualified doctor nearby, then who will be responsible for possible problems with the baby’s health?

Staying together between mother and baby from the first minutes of the child’s life

"Behind". We think no one will argue that after birth, a newborn needs to feel the warmth of his mother’s hands, hear the familiar sound of her heartbeat, and inhale her native smell.

Being in the company of other screaming babies in an unfamiliar large room with bright lights and the smell of bleach is quite a test for a baby. Having survived it, a child can grow up distrustful and cautious, because fear and loneliness were his first emotions.

If the baby sniffles at your side, the young mother’s milk will arrive faster, the processes of uterine contraction will be more active, and it will be much easier to get along with the baby.

He also promotes natural motherhood, then after the birth of the baby he will be able to feel the support of the two people closest to him - mom and dad.

« Against» . No arguments.

Early breastfeeding

"Behind". The baby latched onto the nipple and sucked, literally just after being born? This is how the mother will be able to contribute to the formation of the correct microflora of the child, necessary for his health and ensure lactation in the future without problems.

"Against". No arguments.

Extended breastfeeding on demand

"Behind". Feeding after 3 hours and not a minute earlier is a persistent myth that came to us from the last century. Natural motherhood invites us to relax, forget about the clock, and offer our baby the breast as often as he asks for it. After all, it is simply impossible to overfeed a baby with breast milk.

A child can eat when he wants to, to quench his thirst, to fall asleep, relax, calm down, and feel safe. You should not limit it in time and number of feedings per day. Night feedings - this is normal and correct, although tiring for mom.

Contrary to the second common myth, breast milk doesn't lose their unique and important properties over time. Its composition changes constantly, adapting to the needs of the baby both at 1 month and at 3 years. It is worth feeding the child until he refuses to breastfeed on his own.

Feeding on demand is also a plus for young mothers: thanks to it, the expectant mother does not know what stagnation of milk is, she has much less problems with lactation in general, there is no need to pump and replace her breasts with nipples or bottles of water.

« Against» . Natural motherhood must mean that the baby hangs on the chest for hours and hours without interruption? Of course, there are such days, for example, when the baby is sick or is teething. Then he should be offered the breast without any options.

But overall, let's be reasonable. A mother is also a person, and not a dairy factory for the continuous satisfaction of the child’s needs.

She periodically needs rest and time for herself. Therefore, if the mother understands that now the baby can easily do without the breast and just play, and at this time she will have 10-15 minutes for a shower, breakfast or just doing nothing - this is normal.

Co-sleeping

"Behind". mother and child promotes prolonged lactation, makes contact between the child and mother even closer and gives both confidence that everything is in order.

In addition, there is no need to get up several times a night to feed the baby. He can find the breast himself at any time and eat as soon as he wants, almost without taking his mother out of the kingdom of Morpheus.

« Against» . Are you one of those young mothers who have read horror stories that your baby can be crushed while sleeping together? We think that if you lead a healthy lifestyle, this is unrealistic.

But you just may not like to sleep cuddling with your child, for example, it’s so difficult for you to relax.

If your husband actively protests against sleeping with your baby or this fact causes jealousy in older children, you are free to choose what you will do.

It is important that co-sleeping is as natural and enjoyable a process as breastfeeding. Do you have a different vision? Set your own rules, look for compromises, for example, transfer an already asleep baby to the crib - it should be convenient and comfortable for everyone.

Regularly carrying the baby in your arms or in a sling

"Behind". A newborn baby feels safe in or in his arms because he is as close as possible to his mother. With age, it is these poses that provide the baby with the opportunity to explore the world around him and observe what his mother is doing.

A baby crying alone in a crib is wrong. Yes, let many books write that nothing will happen if you let a child cry once or twice. But is it worth showing your child your power and capabilities? How necessary is it to raise an undemanding child literally from the cradle?

« Against» . The child grows and becomes heavier every day, month, year. Therefore, the ability to continuously carry it in the mother’s arms decreases every day, especially if she is of a rather fragile build.

A sling, of course, frees up your hands, giving you the opportunity to do something around the house, but not all children like slings; this is quite individual.

As the child grows up, he will increasingly need time to independent contemplation And . How important is it to constantly keep him busy, without leaving him the opportunity to be alone?

Early boarding and no diapers

"Behind". Early planting means that a child is potty trained literally from the first days of life. At the moment when, in the mother’s opinion, the child should urinate or defecate, the baby is placed over a bowl, basin, washbasin or bathtub, accompanied by patting, breastfeeding or appropriate sounds.

If the moment is not caught, then wet diapers and pants should cause the child to feeling of discomfort , which disappears when using disposable diapers.

The idea of the process is that the child does not soil diapers or clothes over time, but waits for disembarkation to do his business.

« Against» . Spend more time searching for pee and poop than playing and developing together? A difficult choice... If diapers are still more of a mother’s helper, then perhaps it’s up to her to decide where, how and when her child will “baby”, and who will clean up the soiled carpet after him and whether she wants to change wet bed linen every day.

Refusal of medications and drugs

"Behind". Medicines are harmful, their use is unnatural and unecological.

« Against» . The lack of drug intervention during serious ones can lead to not very pleasant results. After all, unfortunately, the issue is not always resolved only with the help of homeopathy and herbal medicine.

How to solve the issue with vaccinations?

Pedagogical complementary feeding

« Behind» . If the diet of mom and dad can safely be classified as healthy, then there is nothing to worry about if the baby will try the porridge or vegetables from their plate. It is with the help that parents will be able to better understand the baby’s preferences, because if he doesn’t like something, he will no longer show interest in this product.

« Against» . No arguments.

Refusal of the benefits of the modern world

"Behind". Various nipples, bottles, pacifiers, strollers, playpens, walkers and swings are harmful to the child.

Feed - only by breast, carry - in a sling, rock - in your arms.

« Against» . Perhaps pacifiers spoil a child’s bite, and of course they should not be a substitute for communication with the mother, but what to do if it is very difficult for a child to fall asleep without a pacifier? How to feed a formula-fed baby without using bottles? How far can you go with a baby in a sling if the mother is already tired from walking in the park, but she still needs to go to the store and buy groceries? You should look for the answer to all these questions yourself...

Today we told you the principles of natural motherhood. What is your opinion on this matter? Write us your answers in the comments to the material.

In fact, these two camps are not only a way of treating children. This is a worldview, a way of life.

The main pitfall for me turned out to be this:

the message that “No one knows better than mom” is promoted. But in fact the texts not about supporting mom's intuition, but about how should act good mom.

PHOTO - Yulia Zalnova

Natural parenting - a non-standard approach to raising children in the first years of life - still inspires the heated discussions and serious battles among parents, teachers, doctors and psychologists. This technique causes an ambiguous impression. This topic is vast and multifaceted; in one article we are unlikely to be able to cover all its aspects, but we will still try.

What is natural parenting?

How did the theory of natural parenthood come about?

Natural Parenting translated from English means “natural parenting or upbringing.” One of the main ideologists of this theory was the American writer Jean Ledloff, who lived for two and a half years in the jungles of Latin America in the Yekuana Indian tribe. The writer was completely delighted with the impeccable behavior of the “little angels” - the children of the jungle. She saw with her own eyes the harmony reigning in this tribe. After returning from the expedition, Jean Ledloff wrote a wonderful book about the method of raising truly happy children. This book allowed many parents to reconsider their attitude towards the process of raising their children.

What does the concept of “natural parenthood” include?

Natural parenting (NP) is care for children based on meeting their physical and emotional desires and needs. So what's new in this? - you ask. Any parent tries to raise their child based on scientific data from medicine, pedagogy, and psychology. Everything is correct, but EP is primarily based on the theory of evolution, on the development of the human child as a certain species. This technique itself involves bringing the baby and mother as close as possible. A mother raises her child the way her distant ancestors did. Why reinvent the wheel? It has been around for a long time. Take it and use it for its intended purpose. These words fully express the main idea of the EP. That is, parents should learn to raise children from Mother Nature herself.

One of the main principles of this technique is the emotional link. Namely: comprehensive care, all-encompassing love and boundless respect for the child as an individual.

But this does not mean that the mother’s entire life is completely dissolved in the needs of the child. Nothing like this! The child and mother develop together not only on a physical level, but also on an emotional one. Opponents of the EP technique do not deny that this theory contributes to the emergence of strong emotional contact between children and parents. Thanks to this, children grow up to be self-sufficient and self-confident people. They positively perceive the entire reality around them. It’s interesting, but almost all the arguments that we gave above speak only about the benefits of this method of education. Why is there so much controversy and debate around natural parenting? Let's try to figure it out, but first let's list the basic principles of this teaching.

Principles of natural parenting

A newly born person has not only physiological needs, but also enormous inclinations and resources. Nature tried and instilled in him boundless love and great trust in the world. Of course, life on our planet is not very similar to the Garden of Eden, but this does not mean that parents should shift all concerns about the child’s development onto themselves, thereby excluding his own adaptation resources.

The first principle of this technique involves childbirth at home or in a maternity hospital, but without drug intervention . Childbirth in medical institutions should be as close to natural as possible. No gynecologists, only obstetric care in rare cases. Very often, childbirth in such families is perceived as a family event, but not a medical one. After birth, the child and mother are inseparable.
Breastfeeding for at least 2 years . It is advisable for the baby to wean himself. Followers of this practice consider tactile contact between the child and mother to be very important. No bottles, pacifiers, pacifiers! Complementary foods are introduced after six months or with the appearance of the first tooth. The main food for a baby up to one year is breast milk. Complementary foods include foods that parents eat, no store-bought pureed purees. An ordinary family table. Feeding is carried out at the request of the child. Diet has nothing to do with this technique. The baby eats as much as he wants and when he wants.
Followers of this technique advocate natural baby hygiene . They completely refuse diapers and all kinds of nappies. Parents monitor the child's desire and place him over a basin or over a potty. They do not bathe the child in boiled water, do not wash nipples before each feeding and do not iron diapers,
Proponents of this method insist on the benefits baby and mother sleeping together or with both parents. As medical statistics show, co-sleeping between a child and their parents significantly reduces the risk of SIDS, an unpredictable and little-studied disease.
Natural parenting involves carrying a baby in your arms and in a sling . – a special device for carrying children. Most often - fabric.
Kids can be completely naked at home for a long time, thus they harden themselves. Parents should not wrap their child up when going outside in any weather. They should be wearing one less blouse than their mother. And this is quite natural, because mother’s thermoregulation is already “spoiled.” Parents are actively involved hardening the baby , they give him a massage, often lay him out on his tummy, and from the age of one and a half months they already ride him on a sled. Every family involved in natural education has wall bars, horizontal bars and rings.
Adherents of this method They are very conservative about all kinds of vaccinations and pharmacological drugs. However, we would like to point out right away that there is quite a wide range of opinions in natural parenting. Whether it is worth purchasing a stroller or carrying the child only on the back, whether to make or write a refusal, completely exclude medical care or, if necessary, use the services of doctors - each family decides for itself.
Supporters of this method hold the child in their arms as long as he wants. Possibly all day! They are convinced that the expression “you accustom him to holding him” sounds very funny, since the mother carried the baby in her for nine months before giving birth and did not experience any particular discomfort. They had a good time together! So why should one of them be lonely and scared now? Sooner or later the baby will want to feel freedom. Indeed, it’s unlikely that a fifteen-year-old teenager would want to lie in his mother’s arms!

Many parents who followed the natural parenting method were endlessly surprised - it turns out that you can get a great night’s sleep with an infant. Is this technique really that flawless? After all, our grandmothers and mothers raised us completely differently: they fed us strictly according to a schedule, put us to bed separately, gradually introduced liquid complementary foods and, of course, carefully weaned us “from riding on our arms.” Who is right - adherents of classical education or natural parenting? Let's try to figure it out.

All the pros and cons of natural parenthood: opinions of experts and parents

Benefits of natural parenting:

Establishing a strong connection on an emotional level between parents and child.
Long-term breastfeeding provides excellent immunity to the child, protects him from allergic manifestations, diathesis, asthma, and also significantly saves the financial resources required to purchase all kinds of milk formulas.
Carrying a baby in a sling frees up the hands and allows the mother to engage in a wide variety of activities.
Sleeping together in a parent's bed minimizes the risk of SIDS and helps relieve infant colic.
Home birth allows a woman to feel safe and not needlessly panic.
Psychologists say that children who sleep with their parents in childhood do not suffer from low self-esteem in the future.

K. Perkhova, editor of the magazine “Home Child”:

Many, having given birth at home, quit their jobs, move to eco-villages, and some buy their own land. In any case, life changes a lot. A person begins to read books, go to seminars, search for information on the Internet - he tries to understand everything that is offered to him, and then decide whether his child needs it or not. The ability to ask yourself questions comes: “Why should I take my child to some average school? Inject the child with some drugs, the origin of which I do not know?”

And then this spills over into home education - these families do not send their children to kindergarten or school. And these children do not grow up antisocial. On the contrary, they become very creative, bright personalities. But everyone goes through this process of breaking old guidelines and finding new ones. This is sometimes painful, sometimes families even break up - it changes people too much, and many cannot stand it. In any case, this is a new formation of parents and a new formation of children. And many of these people do not find themselves in this country - for example, in the summer they live in Moscow, and in the winter they go to India or Thailand, and the children there grow up healthy, free-thinking.

Maria from Zvenigorod, mother of 2 children :

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I read Ledloff’s book “How to Raise a Happy Child,” the book really resonated with me.
I was impressed. I started looking for similar information and read Michel Auden
“Revived Childbirth”, then there was the site “Consciously” with good
articles and a selection of literature, the solo-roda community in LiveJournal and the group in
classmates, through whom I met my midwife. In the residential complex for me
predicted a miscarriage, and the ophthalmologist immediately said that only a planned caesarean section (for
I am nearsighted, about -6 in both eyes). No miscarriage or cesarean for me
I didn’t want to at all, so I didn’t go to the residential complex anymore, I was looking for alternatives. My friends gave birth at home, and I liked this idea, I felt that I was ready for this. In general, I believe that childbirth is an intimate family event that should take place in a calm, comfortable environment in the presence of those closest to you. That there should be no outside interventions unless absolutely necessary (which occurs in a few percent). All animals give birth on their own (well, except for very domestic ones), you just need it to be warm, dark and secluded. My husband and I gave birth with a midwife in an apartment in Zvenigorod. My daughter was born capricious and demanding, I couldn’t put her down, she refused to sleep without a breast in her mouth and generally lie down without me, and the sling was a great help, just like the gw, ss and fitball. Mothers who already had experience in natural parenting, those from the communities, helped a lot. Then, when my daughter was six months old, I met real similar mothers and this was invaluable support and experience. With my son, there was no question of where to give birth. There was a question about whether to give birth on our own or with a midwife, I wanted to do it myself, my husband wanted a midwife, but he didn’t really insist. Actually, my son was born much faster than my daughter and turned out to be quite calm, so now I wear him much less often.

Disadvantages of Natural Parenting

Any technique creates certain frameworks that do not always work in unforeseen situations. There are no clear concepts in this technique. What is natural parenting and is it possible in the unnatural conditions in which we all live?

Of course, in southern countries it is quite reasonable to plant a child in bushes (if necessary). But what should Russian mothers do in winter when it’s 30 degrees below zero?
Slings are wonderful! What if your baby refuses to sit in a carrier?
Refusal to vaccinate also raises a lot of questions. After all, thanks to vaccination, smallpox was defeated and the incidence of polio in children significantly decreased.
Due to physiological characteristics, some women cannot give birth naturally. There are many examples of children and mothers dying due to lack of timely medical care. Even if a natural birth takes place with the participation of a midwife, it is possible that the baby may die due to the lack of necessary equipment.

E. Melanchenko, pediatric neurologist about the book by J. Ledloff “How to raise a happy child” :

Ledloff writes that if a child is carried in his arms all the time, then the change in the position of the mother’s body in space is sufficient for the development of the baby’s vestibular apparatus. But a city mother moves on a flat floor or asphalt, does not climb mountains and trees, and does not walk on swinging bridges. So constantly carrying a child on yourself does not guarantee normal development, it is simply not enough. So we advise that our urban contemporary should be placed on a wide sofa or, better yet, on the floor (carpet) as early as possible - for safety reasons and to realize his innate motor potential.

Another embarrassing moment. An Indian mother always has helpers. European and American mothers live separately from their parents, and not everyone has the means to hire an au pair. In addition, the Yekuana child lives among loving relatives. In our environment, it is not so often that you come across nannies who treat their pupils with warmth and attention.

Where does the sense of innate security that Ledloff describes come from? The Yequana child, who has been dragged through the mountains and valleys, actually has a well-developed vestibular apparatus. So it is not surprising that children can avoid injury and damage in everyday life. According to our (domestic) experience, children with correct motor development and a good vestibular apparatus can easily climb into hard-to-reach places without causing any harm to themselves. However, we will not dare to call this quality innate. Because children who have deviations in the development of the necessary movements described above are more likely to be injured than those who “matured” correctly in the first year of life.

O. Knyazeva, psychologist:

We have been living in a world created by man for a long time. Cars, multi-story buildings, computers are unnatural habitats. Are we ready to give up the benefits of civilization and return back to nature in the literal sense, and is it necessary to do this? Giving up diapers, strollers, artificial nutrition - does this really make us closer to nature and allow us to raise a happy and healthy child? Living in a modern society and at the same time creating an artificial environment for a child (without technology, etc.) means preventing the child from mastering the world in which he was born. Helping a child adapt to society and the modern landscape is one of the important tasks facing parents.

The child will have to live not in an isolated and artificially created environment by his parents, but in the real world. The time allotted by nature to develop the necessary skills for a child’s interaction with the environment is limited. The stories of Mowgli children clearly demonstrate this.

Many fans of Jean Ledloff’s book “How to Raise a Happy Child” perceive the principle of continuity and naturalness in upbringing as a dogma. Like driving without brakes. This often leads to incredible conclusions. For example, like this: “the child was born in water, in an unnatural environment, which means he will be abnormal.”

Systematically, we understand: what is natural for one person is not at all natural for another. How a child was born does not affect its vector set, its internal properties. This may affect the development of the child's vectors in case of birth injuries.

Of course, this technique itself is very interesting. Some of its provisions even have a basis generally recognized by science. However, its principles are not indisputable and raise a number of natural questions. Natural parenting has many supporters and followers, but also quite a large number of ardent opponents.

How to implement natural parenting in life: the most useful books

In conclusion, I would like to note that United Russia has nothing to do with religion. This is the lifestyle that parents choose. And how much this lifestyle suits your family is up to you to decide.

People I meet in my life, when they learn that we adhere to the principles of natural parenting, ask me: “What does this mean?” To make the answer more authoritative, I usually say that this is the knowledge and skills of raising and caring for a child that our great-grandmothers and great-great-grandmothers possessed. Most often, after such a definition, people remember with pity or reproach about infants left to older brothers and sisters, who fed them bread crumbs wrapped in a rag, or one-year-old children tied to the bed with special ropes so that the mother could go to work in field. All this happened in our recent history. Of course, the methods described above have nothing to do with natural parenting. Purposefully, and sometimes because of fashion and prestige, maternal art, as one of the manifestations of natural parenthood, was erased from the life of a civilized society.

“Natural parenting is a method based on the traditions and principles of living nature and early cultures. The essence of the method is to carefully observe the communication signs of newborns and try to satisfy their emotional and physical needs as much as possible. In practice, this means that children are in close physical contact with their parents for most of the day. During the day, the baby is carried in a sling, and at night he sleeps with his parents. The child is breastfed on demand for at least 2-4 years, and when to stop breastfeeding is determined by the child himself, and co-sleeping with parents can continue for many years” - this is what the free encyclopedia Wikipedia says on this matter.

In professional terms, natural parenting is the desire of parents to satisfy all the innate expectations of the child or, in other words, his true needs. The presence of such expectations is indicated by: psychotherapist J. Ledloff, obstetrician-gynecologist M. Oden, teacher and perinatologist psychologist Zh.V. Tsaregradskaya, ethologist V.R. Dolnik and many others.

We have lungs to breathe air, waterproof skin to protect ourselves from rain, nose hairs to avoid inhaling dust, etc. Our entire structure, both physical and spiritual, is an expectation of certain conditions in the world around us. . A child is born with these expectations. How does nature know what a person needs in life? Through the experience of countless generations of ancestors. The child expects to encounter in the world what his ancestors encountered.

Moreover, each expectation inherent in a child corresponds to innate abilities that are realized as soon as the expected conditions arise. For example, as soon as a child is born (fulfilled expectation), he begins to breathe (realized ability); Having found the mother's breast (fulfilled expectation), the child begins to suck (realized ability), etc. If something that the child expects does not come across to him in life, his abilities do not fully develop. In addition, a person continues to seek satisfaction of unfulfilled expectations in adulthood.

Everything regarding physical expectations and abilities is more or less obvious and understandable. But a person has many needs that are less obvious, but equally pressing.

One of the fundamental innate needs of a child is to be carried in arms during the first months of life. For nine months of pregnancy, the child was inextricably linked with the mother, and suddenly, at birth, he is separated from her. In order for this separation not to be traumatic, the child needs to constantly be with his mother for a long time, feel her warmth, hear her heartbeat, and be able to kiss her breast. Only in the arms of the mother does the child feel completely protected and, moving with the mother, receives the various impressions he needs for proper development.

When a child is born, he expects adults to show him how to live in this world. Children are brought up primarily by the example of their parents, learning their way of life. A child learns best when he has the opportunity to participate (at first passively and then actively) in the real work of adults. He expects that adults will not pay more attention to him than he really needs, and his mother will not devote herself entirely to caring for him - she should lead a normal lifestyle of an active adult.

At the same time, the child also has certain expectations of what this lifestyle should be like. For millions of years, man lived among plants and animals, under the rays of the sun and streams of rain, and moved a lot. The child expects his parents to lead exactly this lifestyle. Of course, human adaptability is great, and, in the end, the child will learn to live in an apartment and lead an urban lifestyle, but at the same time he will lose integrity and harmony. A person has the expectation to live among nature (an eco-village is a good direction from my point of view), and not among the dead walls of a panel house.

Elements of natural parenting also include natural childbirth with minimal intervention, pedagogical complementary feeding, the so-called natural hygiene of the newborn, refusal of diapers, natural hardening, refusal of vaccinations and education taking into account the needs of the child at different periods of his life.

Ekaterina Barabanova