Mother's breast milk is the only source of nutrients necessary for the full development of the baby's body. Some women face the problem of their baby refusing to breastfeed. For this situation to arise, you need at least a good reason. The reasons for this problem and methods for solving it will be described in detail below.
Reasons for refusal
Various factors can provoke a child’s refusal to breastfeed, among which the most likely is a violation of the technique of attaching the child to the breast, as well as changes in the taste and nutritional properties of breast milk.
The most common reasons for a child to refuse breastfeeding include:
It should be borne in mind that some of the factors mentioned do not depend on the breastfeeding woman. Ways to solve the problem of a baby refusing to breastfeed depend on the reason itself.
What to do
Before identifying an algorithm for solving the problem, a nursing woman must accurately determine the reason for the child’s refusal to breastfeed.
Violation of feeding technique
Failure to follow the rules for placing a baby to the breast is a common problem, especially among first-time mothers.
Primary training in the technique of properly attaching a newborn to the breast occurs within the walls of the maternity hospital, but when going beyond its boundaries, young mothers inevitably begin to violate all the learned rules of feeding the child.
Feeding can be considered successful if the baby captures not only the nipple with his lips, but also the surrounding aureole. An indicator of correct grip is considered to be the absence of discomfort in a nursing woman.
If the child’s refusal is associated with a violation of feeding technique, then this problem can be eliminated by selecting a position that is comfortable for mother and child. These poses include:
- A position in which the nursing woman and the child lay parallel to each other;
- Place the baby on a pillow next to the mother;
- Placing the baby in the hand of a nursing mother;
- Laying the baby on the elbow of the mother, while the nursing woman is in a sitting position;
- Laying the baby on the stomach of the mother, who is in a semi-sitting position.
Hyperlactation
A characteristic feature for primiparous women is the period of lactation, which is characterized by. In this case, the baby’s refusal to breastfeed may be due to excessive satiety and inability to cope with the pressure of breast milk.
The solution to this problem is to provide a small portion of breast milk in advance. Thanks to this procedure, the nipple halo is softened and pressure is reduced.
Anatomical features
Flat nipples are a common problem that can interfere with breastfeeding. In this case, the child cannot fully cover the nipple and areola with his lips.
Before solving this problem by switching to artificial feeding, you should use other recommendations, including:
- It is not recommended to interrupt the baby's attempts to latch on to the nipple. If such a procedure occurs regularly, then over time the nipples will acquire a convex shape, and the baby will be able to fully attach to the breast;
- The solution to the problem of flat nipples are special ones, which are purchased at pharmacies or specialized stores;
- Knowing about her problem, the expectant mother is recommended a special massage. Even before the baby is born, a woman is recommended to perform a special self-massage aimed at correcting the shape of the nipples and slightly stretching them;
- A homemade device is used to correct the shape of the nipples. To make it, you need to take a syringe with a volume of 10 cubes and cut off its upper part. Next, you need to apply the syringe to each nipple and pull the plunger. Thus, a negative pressure (vacuum effect) is created in the syringe, due to which the nipples are stretched.
Short bridle
A baby's refusal to breastfeed may be due to congenital shortening of the frenulum of the tongue. This problem cannot be fixed on your own. The frenulum is corrected by a pediatric surgeon.
Increased fat content of milk
Increasing the concentration of fats in breast milk makes it thick, which makes it more difficult for the baby. You can cope with this problem using the following recommendations:
- You can make breastfeeding easier by lightly stroking the breast towards the nipple;
- To stimulate the release of breast milk, it is useful to perform self-massage of the mammary glands before feeding.
Taste qualities of milk
Changes in the taste and smell of breast milk can cause a baby to refuse breastfeeding. The taste buds of young children are very sensitive, and the slightest changes can lead to a critical reaction from the baby.
Changes in the taste of breast milk may be associated with the consumption of certain foods. The following foods can significantly affect the smell and taste of breast milk:
Drinking alcohol, smoking, regular stress, taking certain medications, as well as hormonal changes during menstruation can have a serious impact on the quality of breast milk.
Lack of milk
A decrease in the amount of breast milk or its complete absence is also a likely reason for a baby’s refusal to breastfeed. You can solve this problem as follows:
- In order for breast milk production to be sufficient and regular, it is recommended to breastfeed the baby not every hour, but on demand. The more often this happens, the more effectively the stimulation of milk production occurs;
- A nursing woman needs to reconsider her diet and consume as many foods as possible that stimulate the production of breast milk;
- If a nursing woman resorts to pumping, then this must be done carefully and carefully so that the mammary glands are completely emptied of breast milk.
Diseases
If attempts to put the baby to the breast are accompanied by refusal, this may be due to the development of certain diseases in the baby. Such diseases include:
- Oral candidiasis ();
- Inflammation of the middle ear (otitis);
- Intestinal colic;
- Inflammatory diseases of the oral cavity and nasopharynx;
- Acute rhinitis, accompanied by nasal congestion.
It is important to consider that each of these diseases requires medical intervention and special treatment. When the first signs appear, the child must be shown to a pediatrician.
Feeling of discomfort
A child may refuse to breastfeed due to a feeling of discomfort associated with external conditions. The following factors may cause discomfort:
- Increase or decrease in ambient temperature;
- The appearance of diaper rash in the folds of the baby’s body;
- Rubbing the seams located on the child’s clothes;
- A burning sensation and itching in places of irritation when diaper rash appears;
- Excessively tight swaddling;
- Discomfort associated with teething;
- The need to change a diaper;
- Uncomfortable position when feeding.
It is only necessary to eliminate the above reasons, and the child will independently stop refusing to breastfeed.
Mother's mood
Breastfeeding is a very delicate procedure. During this process, the child very subtly senses the mood of the nursing woman. Excessive excitement, fatigue and fear can cause the baby to refuse to breastfeed. The solution to this problem is to normalize the emotional state of the nursing mother.
Change of scenery
As a result of a change in environment or moving to another home, a nursing woman may face the problem of her child refusing to breastfeed. The sensation of new smells, unfamiliar sounds and different surroundings can disorient the baby.
The following recommendations can help correct this situation:
- Until complete recovery, the child is surrounded by a calm and peaceful environment, devoid of harsh sounds and smells;
- For some time after the move, they try to ensure that the baby is surrounded only by objects familiar to him (toys, crib).
Using pacifiers
Use can significantly affect the quality of natural breastfeeding. The whims and crying of a child are not a reason to use pacifiers. The best solution to this problem is to completely eliminate the nipple and attach the baby to the breast upon request. Otherwise, a nursing woman risks completely interrupting her breastfeeding cycle.
The health and full development of the child depends on the correct organization of breastfeeding. The occurrence of some difficulties during feeding should not be the reason for switching to artificial formula. If any problems arise during feeding, a woman should report her problem to her doctor as soon as possible.
If feeding problems are associated with the formation of internal pathology, then self-medication can lead to the development of undesirable consequences for both mother and baby.
Nowadays, no one is surprised by such a phenomenon as a baby’s refusal of mother’s milk and breasts. There are often complaints from mothers that the child refuses to take the breast without good reason. It’s curious, but the ancient culture of raising children almost completely excludes a child’s refusal to breastfeed. And in European countries, more than 60% of children, before reaching three months, refuse to breastfeed, despite the fact that the mother has milk.
Statistics say that in Russia this figure is no less. From this we can conclude that a child refuses breastfeeding in most cases in modern society, which uses various devices for feeding children.
There are two types of refusal to breastfeed:
- Imaginary refusal.
- Genuine refusal.
Practice shows that the question: “how to feed a child if he refuses to breastfeed?” is in second place after the question of the mother’s lack of milk. In one case out of six, this is an imaginary refusal.
This phenomenon often occurs in infants aged four to seven months. When awake, the baby often behaves energetically. He can be distracted by any sound or movement. The baby does not latch precisely because of such irritating factors, and mothers call this refusal. In this case, you should orient the baby and gently attach him to the breast. This picture should not cause alarm; the baby will receive milk in full after waking up in the morning, or at night.
Illness or general malaise can cause similar behavior. Most often these are problems with the respiratory organs. In such a situation, you should consult a doctor.
In other cases, breast refusal is genuine. It is typical for children under four months of age and after eight months.
This is what true breast refusal looks like:
- The baby refuses to take both breasts;
- Always takes the same breast, refuses the second; Sucks only when sleeping;
- At the breast he behaves restlessly, constantly turns out, cries, can suck a little and throw it away.
If the child’s condition persists for a long time, serious measures should be taken immediately. First, you need to find the root cause of the refusal and understand why the child refuses the breast.
Why does a child refuse breast milk?
First reason: Using feeding devices, pacifiers and pacifiers. Alternative sucking is the most common reason that a baby does not latch on to the breast. No nipple or pacifier can replicate the shape of a breast. Therefore, children suck on a pacifier in a completely different way. Such confusion forces the baby to choose one method - more convenient for him. In one case, this choice falls on the chest, in the other - on the pacifier. There are times when a baby chooses both the breast and the pacifier. The use of pacifiers and pacifiers disrupts the bond between mother and child. This violation leads to the fact that mothers then do not know how to force the child to take the breast.
Second reason: Improper care of the baby can cause him to mistrust his mother. Such cases occur in infants who are not fed when called and do not suck on a pacifier or pacifier. These conditions are unnatural for the baby, and he loses the desire to suckle at his mother’s breast. Such a child resorts to finger and hand sucking if he does not receive a pacifier. This refusal is called “mother’s abandonment,” but it occurs in rare cases. If a child refuses breast milk for this reason, then rehabilitation takes a very long time.
Third reason: If the volume of complementary foods is too high, the baby may refuse to suck on the mother’s breast. If you refuse because of such a problem, the baby falls asleep without prior breastfeeding and does not want to eat at night.
What to do if a child refuses to breastfeed.
Breast milk is the ideal food for a newborn. It not only nourishes the baby, helping him grow and develop, but also protects, supporting the immune system, and enriches the little body with essential vitamins. But there are situations when the baby refuses breast milk. Why this happens, and what a mother should do - let’s try to figure it out.
Refusal of breast milk can be expressed in different ways. For example, a baby may refuse only one breast or both. He may eat only at night or during sleep, and refuse at other times. Or he begins to get nervous when his mother tries to offer him the breast: she cries, turns away, arches. The reasons for this behavior can be different - from physical ailment to psychological discomfort.
It is also worth mentioning that there are certain age periods when infants quite often refuse mother's milk. This can happen in the first days of life, at the age of 3-4 months, or after 8-12 months.
In an ideal scenario, the baby tastes mother's milk for the first time in the maternity hospital. After a natural birth, which took place without complications, the baby, while still in the delivery room, tastes colostrum from the mother’s breast. He feeds on it for the next two to three days until the mother produces milk. But there are situations (for example, during a complicated birth or caesarean section) when the mother cannot immediately feed the baby herself. Then he gets his first food from a bottle. When the mother later tries to offer him the breast, the child does not want to take it. This refusal of breast milk in favor of a bottle is easy to explain. Firstly, the bottle is already familiar to the baby, but the mother’s breast is something new and incomprehensible. Secondly, it is easier to eat formula from a bottle, but to get food from the breast, you need to try harder, put in more effort; the taste of the formula is already familiar, but the milk is not. Such a refusal can be easily overcome; you just need to exclude the bottle and offer the breast. In a day or two the baby will get used to it. It is not very good to accustom a child to a pacifier from the very first days of life - this can also provoke him to refuse breast milk.
Sometimes the reason for refusal in the first days of life can be the shape of the nipple (too small or too large). But these are actually only temporary difficulties. The main thing is to learn how to put your baby to the breast correctly, and over time he will get used to it and eat well.
It happens that a baby refuses to latch on to the breast due to the appearance of unfamiliar odors (the mother used perfume, body cream, deodorant, or a new fabric softener). It is better to refrain from such innovations; choose neutral hygiene products for personal care (unscented).
Often, especially at the beginning of breastfeeding, the baby may refuse the breast due to a strong flow of milk when there is too much of it. Hyperlactation can cause the breasts to become too tight and make it difficult for your baby to breastfeed. The main thing here is not to panic and patiently continue breastfeeding, after massaging your breasts a little and expressing a little milk. Over time, when lactation improves and becomes more mature, the baby will calmly eat and be completely satisfied with mother’s milk.
Sometimes a baby may refuse to breastfeed because the mother feeds him in a different position that is unusual for him. For example, if in the maternity hospital he is used to breastfeeding, lying next to his mother, and at home she sits on the sofa and takes him in her arms to feed him. Or the child is reluctant to take one breast. For example, he eats from the right one, but refuses the left one. Habit may also be an explanation for this situation. Previously, my mother gave more to the right breast, or only to her, because there was a crack on the left or lactostasis (stagnation of milk), or it seemed to my mother that there was always less milk in the left breast. Therefore, one breast was “out of favor” with the baby.
A child’s refusal to breastfeed at 3-4 months most often has a psychological basis. By this age, the baby becomes more emotional, sensitive to the conditions in which he lives, and may respond by refusing to breastfeed to discomfort or any changes in care and feeding.
The child is already very interested in the outside world: he wants to understand where an unfamiliar sound comes from, he strives to look at unfamiliar bright objects, so he is often distracted during feeding, which can be perceived by the mother as a refusal. Actually this is not true. If the baby lets go of the breast, try offering it again after a few minutes: if the little one does not cry, does not arch, but continues to eat, it means that he has already considered everything and is ready to continue sucking.
Modern mothers often strive to use various early development methods for their children. Dynamic gymnastics, yoga for babies, professional massage, early hardening or infant swimming are quite stressful for a child who is adapting to a new life. This can trigger breast refusal.
At this age, a child may also react negatively to changes in the conditions or circumstances of his family's life. For example, if strangers appear in the house (friends, neighbors, relatives), or the child and his parents often visit people (a new, foreign place, unknown people) or crowded places, if the mother begins to be away for a long time (went to work or left) . All this can also become a source of discomfort and stress for a small child, and as a result, he may refuse to breastfeed. The youngest children feel good and confident in familiar surroundings and in everyday events.
If we are talking about older children, for example, from seven to eight months to a year, then they most often lose interest in breast milk due to improperly organized complementary feeding. Often mothers try to give the child more “adult” food and replace more feedings with it. The child likes new tastes, he gets full - and the need for milk decreases. Many mothers perceive such a refusal of breast milk as physiological weaning (that is, the child meaningfully refuses milk as an unnecessary product). Actually this is not true. According to breastfeeding consultants, it is physiological, that is, natural, to feed a child until 2-3 years of age, because even after a year, mother’s milk still contains many useful and necessary substances for the baby. And the child refuses the breast for a reason other than that it has become useless. For example, because complementary feeding replaces mother's milk.
It is worth mentioning another very important reason for refusing breast milk, which occurs at any age. This is poor health or even illness of the baby. Perhaps the baby is cutting another tooth or has a sore throat, and it is painful and unpleasant for him to swallow milk. The child may have a stuffy nose, and it is difficult for him to eat and breathe at the same time. Stomatitis (thrush) or high fever can also discourage breastfeeding.
The child refuses the breast during pregnancy or during menstruation
It happens, although not often, that a child refuses to breastfeed, feeling the changed taste of mother's milk. The milk becomes bitter during menstruation or when another pregnancy occurs. And for this reason, the child sometimes loses the desire to suck the breast. This phenomenon is temporary, and soon the baby will get used to the new taste. It must be said that mother’s milk already has a different taste every day. It depends on the mother's nutrition. Therefore, babies quickly get used to the new taste of mother's milk.
What to do if the baby does not want to breastfeed
If the baby refuses to breastfeed, the mother should not panic, because this will further alarm the child, who senses the mother’s mood. Having calmed down, try to determine the reason for refusing breast milk and eliminate it.
Try to choose a feeding position that is comfortable for both of you. If there is too much milk and it is difficult for the baby to eat, express a little before feeding.
If your child feels unwell, consult a doctor to determine the cause of the illness and treat it.
During the period when the baby refuses food, you need to try to remove all possible causes of psychological discomfort. They were mentioned earlier. At this time, only the mother needs to care for the baby - this will calm him down.
Often children who refuse the breast still take it while half asleep. You can try rocking the baby in your arms and try putting a nipple in his mouth when he starts to fall asleep. It may be necessary to organize a joint night's sleep for some time.
To feed your baby during the day when he is not sleeping, you can use “white noise”. Turn on a hairdryer, hood or vacuum cleaner - their noise will remind the baby of the period when he was in his mother’s tummy, this is how the fetus heard all external sounds. Sometimes this helps the child calm down and eat.
The question arises of what to do with milk during the period of refusal: the baby does not want to eat as before, but the milk comes in. If there is a lot of milk, you can express a little. A light massage or warm shower will help relieve the condition.
But the most important thing during the period of refusal is to try to maintain breastfeeding. This will require patience, a little effort and, of course, time. Under no circumstances should you immediately run for the life-saving bottle of formula. If a child misses several feedings, he will not suffer much, and later he will eat with greater appetite. Be patient, act according to the situation, and you will definitely overcome rejection.
Especially for -Ksenia Boyko
Breast refusal is divided into three types:Self-weaning refers to giving up breastfeeding at the age of natural weaning. A child who refuses to breastfeed has matured psychologically and physiologically before weaning and simply stops taking the breast, having enough other nutrition.
False refusal is usually called the behavior of a child when he cannot take the breast for a long time. This may be due to:
- long “search” for the nipple. The baby turns his head at the breast - he looks for the nipple for a while
With long-term training of the child in the correct sucking technique (individual feature of the child);
With slight distraction from the breast due to extraneous sounds during feeding (usually starting at the age of 4-5 months), when the child often turns away from the breast, distracted.
With hyperlactation - increased milk production, excessive leakage of milk prevents the baby from sucking, he coughs, turns away from a strong flow of milk
With physiological reasons: the child is sick, the child has thrush or an injury to the oral cavity, the nasal passages are clogged and breathing through the nose is difficult, teething is bothering him
True refusal is a refusal to breastfeed against the background of stress experienced as a result of a violation of the psycho-emotional connection with the mother. This condition is also called “psycho-emotional deprivation” - pushing away the mother after breaking contact with her. This is a dangerous condition, in the absence of an immediate adequate reaction from the mother, fraught with serious problems in the future. Such a refusal can be recognized, excluding the causes of a false refusal, by the following distinctive characteristics having approximately the following sequence:
- a recently calm child cries at the breast for a long time
- taking the breast, he immediately throws the nipple away and cries again
- the child arches and cries when the breast is offered
- the child, after crying at the breast, calms down in the arms NOT of the mother
- the child does not seek the breast while in the mother’s arms, often cries and behaves restlessly in her arms
- having cried bitterly, falls asleep with sobs outside the mother's embrace
- seeks sublimation of consolation - having gotten used to the pacifier, falls asleep exclusively with the pacifier
- after a long “scandal” he takes only a bottle from the breast
Reasons for true refusal:
- the child was separated from his mother for a long time after birth
- the child sucks a pacifier
- the child falls asleep with a pacifier, not with the breast
- the baby is bottle-fed
- strangers are with the child for a long time
- the mother is often absent, leaving the child with someone
- the child experiences a lack of emotional and physical contact with the mother.
- the family situation is emotionally unstable
- the child experiences constant stress, fear, and is treated inconsistently with his age stage of development
- the child is subjected to unnatural and non-physiological procedures that tire him, which frighten him, and the mother is their participant, initiator or witness and does not try to protect, console or stop the procedures (such procedures can be hard massage, diving, dousing with cold water and dynamic gymnastics)
It is important to understand that in the case of true refusal, its main reason is resentment. The psyche of a small child is tuned to the constant presence of the mother and to her satisfaction of his biological expectations from communication with her - physical contact, breastfeeding, a feeling of peace from her smell, body warmth, movements, heartbeat and the sounds of her voice. These relationships are for the most part instinctive . If she often practices weaning (especially before six months), often tries to put the child in a stroller and crib, and transfer the care of him to another person, the baby begins to experience a deficiency of her presence, which he cannot, due to his development, compensate for with anything, because he is driven by the instinct to search for these required communication parameters that nature gave him for normal development, and then his psyche turns on the emergency stop lights: “I’m not needed, they don’t love me, well, then I won’t eat!” That is, the perception of maternal behavior as betrayal causes a protest, which, in its destructive power of motivation, could be equated to a refusal to live, an instinctive self-elimination. This form of condition that arises from the dissatisfaction of needs in psychology is called “frustration.” Here is what such a scientific giant as Eric Berne writes about these conditions of infants when the mother deprives them of their opportunity:
“The baby cannot think through the situation, asking the question: “Should she really have left or should she have stayed with me?” Because he is hindered and because he is an infant, he immediately looks for other ways to satisfy his tensions, and if he fails to satisfy his libido (as the desire to live and the love of life in general - author's note), he tries to find relief through mortido ( energetic tensions relieved by destruction, damage, elimination and distance, the energy of the death instinct) (The same applies to other types of frustrations.)Unable to control his limbs, he can only do so with few
ways and, moreover, without much sophistication. The adult can run or fight; the baby has no access to either one or the other. The main possible passive reaction for him is to lie still, refusing to suck.” (E. Berne “Introduction to psychiatry and psychoanalysis for the uninitiated” chapter “3. Emotional development of a sucking baby”)
And here is how one nursing mother described her situation with refusal, who managed to track the reasons for its onset, the development of such side effects that follow refusals, such as lactostasis, and subsequently cope with refusal with the support of a lactation consultant.
"Stupid mistake:) we gave the child a pacifier. He asked for the breast every 10 minutes. He would take it, leave it, and ask again for half a day. Before this, the sister came and said that the child is now in the oral stage of maturation, he needs to satisfy the sucking reflex, that the breast that the pacifier is not important, as long as it sucks
We gave up and then we went for a walk - in a stroller - this is mistake number two.
Firstly, it was too early to go for a walk, he needed to get used to the space of the apartment... secondly, I walked far, the asphalt was bad, the stroller was shaking - the baby was “turned off” immediately.
This I now understand is a reaction to stress. And then I thought: this is how well he sleeps on the street! Maybe he woke up to eat, but there was a pacifier in his mouth - he didn’t ask for the breast and so for several days, then at home he gets cranky or doesn’t sleep, but for me to eat or something else - we immediately put him in the stroller, give him a pacifier and rock him. He fell asleep with the pacifier and the “shaking”, lay down quietly and fall asleep.
That's how he got used to falling asleep.
And then I realized the other side of the coin: - I began to take the breast incorrectly, I had two lactostasis in a week - I began to take the breast less often, stopped gaining weight (it’s not clear whether he wants to eat or not, there’s a pacifier in his mouth) - put him to sleep in his arms or under the breast it became impossible: only a stroller and a pacifier... I was scared: if everything is so serious in a week, then what will happen in a couple of months? breast refusal?
We decided to give up the pacifier. And so on August 3 we had a shooting range: they took away the pacifier, Yarik screams (he doesn’t cry, but screams, he’s already choking), the stroller was removed, he doesn’t take the breast, he can’t sleep, my temperature is 39, I need to express lactostasis in a certain position, and the baby refuses... In short, it’s a shame for the child, I’m ashamed of myself in front of him, Albert accuses me of cruelty (the pacifier must be gradually taken away, just given less and less, and you are so harsh), I’m crying from this whole nightmare... Then in the evening Yarik slept a little , subsided. I called a lactation consultant in Krasnoyarsk. My main question was: did I do the right thing by taking it away so abruptly? It turned out there was no other way. She supported me a lot, answered all my questions. It became easier. The consultant warned that now we need to try to make the baby forget the stress. This is two weeks of “nesting”: no guests, no walks, no swimming, ONLY mom and her breasts. Even dad better not babysit. The baby needs to learn again that mother IS and she is the main stronghold and protection. Always and everywhere, no matter what happens.
I tried my best. Of course, it was still not possible to maintain the regime. Either the nurse will come, then the grandmother will come, sometimes I’ll get tired - I’ll let Albert tinker, we still bathed twice... But even with this approach, the baby became calm, there were fewer tears, fewer nerves.
Now everything is fine)) Yarik woke up, I went to feed))
Anastasia."
The most basic way to combat this pathological form of refusal is the so-called “nesting method”. All strangers are temporarily excluded from the child’s routine, any items of care that are shared between mother and child, the mother remains with the child in bed almost all the time, in a quiet, dimly lit room, and constantly offers the breast. The rest of the time, when the child is not suckling, sleeping, he still tries to leave him as little as possible, only if necessary, so that he feels it and methodically restores trust. A very important aspect for nesting is the understanding and support of the rest of the family, who will take on all other responsibilities around the house and help the mother.
In modern civilized society, a child’s refusal to breastfeed is a fairly common occurrence. You've probably heard mothers tell you more than once about how their baby "suddenly" refused to breastfeed.
Interestingly, in societies that have preserved the archaic culture of raising children, genuine breast refusal practically does not occur. And in Europe, for example, 65% of children who suck a pacifier under the age of 3 months refuse to breastfeed if their mother has milk! According to the observations of experts, in Russia the situation is very similar... It turns out that a child’s refusal to breastfeed is a privilege of an exclusively civilized society, where there are nipples, pacifiers, bottles, as well as a lot of conflicting information on child care.
Apparent breast refusal.
In the practice of breastfeeding consultants, the child’s refusal to breastfeed is in second place in the frequency of requests after suspected lack of milk. In 20% of cases, this is an apparent refusal, which occurs in almost all infants aged 4 to 7 months. During periods of wakefulness, it can be difficult to hold the baby at the breast, or he sucks little by little and is distracted by any rustle. At the same time, he actively sucks before falling asleep and after waking up, and also increases the number of nightly attachments. This behavior is normal, and neither the weight nor the development of the child is affected. Sometimes mothers of newborn babies call breast refusal the behavior of the child when he turns his head and seems to be turning away from the breast. In such a situation, the mother must orient the child and skillfully attach him to the breast.This behavior occurs when a child is unwell or ill. Typically, these are complications related to the nose and mouth. This child needs treatment.
Genuine breast refusal.
In the remaining 80% of requests, there is a genuine refusal of the child to breastfeed, which happens especially often between birth and 4 months, and after 8-9 months of the child’s life. It looks like this:- the baby does not take both breasts;
- One breast takes well, the other does not take at all;
- sucks only in sleep, but refuses to suck when awake;
- behaves restlessly at the breast, sucks a little, then quits, cries, starts sucking again, quits again, turns away, arches. If this has been going on for several days, you need to take immediate action.
Causes.
Reason 1. Use of pacifiers and pacifiers, bottle feedings. The most common reason for giving up breastfeeding is in favor of another method of sucking. Not a single pacifier is similar in shape to the breast, so babies suckle the breast and pacifier differently. The “nipple confusion” that arises in a child leads to the fact that the baby chooses the most convenient method of sucking for him. Some children choose the breast (they refuse the pacifier), others combine the pacifier and breast, but most children still choose the ill-fated pacifier and pacifier. In any case, the use of a pacifier leads to separation between mother and child, when the mother gives the child an “artificial sedative” to calm her down.In case of such a refusal, the first thing to do is to exclude the use of pacifiers and pacifiers. They go “to the far corner” and never return (ask your husband or grandmother to hide them from you so that “your hand doesn’t reach out”). If the baby receives expressed milk or formula from a bottle, then instead of a bottle a spoon, or a pipette, or a syringe without a needle appears.
You will find out in practice which way it will be more convenient for your baby to receive supplementary feeding, having tried all the methods.
At the same time, you need to increase the number of attachments to the breast (or attempts to attach). Particularly successful are attempts to put a sleepy baby to the breast when he is about to fall asleep (or is about to wake up). Make sure your baby is latching correctly. Carry your baby in your arms a lot during the day; you will need a sling. At night, put your baby to sleep in your own bed and feed him at least 3 times.
Enlist the support of relatives. Their help will be invaluable in organizing your life with your child. Stay with your child for 2 weeks without involving anyone to care for him. Your baby may have difficulty latching to the breast due to sucking on the pacifier. Correct attachment and comfortable positions for feeding should be specially trained.
The time required to retrain a child familiar with a pacifier varies for children of different ages. For a child of the first 3 months of life - from 7 days to 2-3 weeks. For an older child, retraining may take several weeks. But the mother must have a very good idea of why this is being done. If your baby cries, turns away from the breast and demands a pacifier, you need to know that this is just his set of habits. And you will not be “breaking” your established character, but your own incorrectly formed habits. This is not violence, but the most ordinary retraining. After all, now no one is embarrassed by retraining a child from sucking a breast to sucking a pacifier...
Reason 2. Errors in caring for the child, and, as a result, the destruction of the child’s faith in the reliability of the mother. It occurs in infants who are fed on demand and do not suck a pacifier, but when the child finds himself in conditions for which he was not designed by nature, and he loses the desire to suckle at the mother's breast... If such a child is not given a pacifier, then he switches to active finger and fist sucking. We call this kind of refusal “mom abandonment”; fortunately, it is relatively rare, but rehabilitation after it can last a very long time... To better imagine what “mom abandonment” looks like, I will give two examples from my practice:
- Lena asked for advice when the baby was 5 days old. For the first 3 days he slept soundly, and, according to his mother, “did not require the breast.” After I started sucking, cracks appeared on my nipples and my breasts began to hurt. During the conversation, it became clear that the birth took place at home, and the child was born in water. After birth, the baby was subjected to a series of “developmental and hardening” procedures, as a result of which he refused the first breastfeeding and fell asleep deeply for 3 days... Now the boy is 8 months old, he is breastfed, he has never tried a nipple or artificial formula, he feeds on demand , at 6 months, pedagogical complementary feeding was introduced. But rehabilitation from the trauma received during water birth (we are, after all, land creatures) and postpartum procedures is still ongoing. Despite repeated teaching of mother and baby how to properly attach to the breast, the mother regularly heals cracked nipples (which is also very often the result of relationships), and does not understand the behavior of her child, who does not let her go for a minute, even in his sleep. Maybe he is not yet sure that he is completely safe, or maybe he is afraid of repeating the sad experience. One can only guess about this.
- The first conversation with Natasha about feeding and caring for the child took place when her daughter was 4 months old. The reason for the appeal was the active sucking of his fists and fingers. It turned out that the baby sleeps all night separately from her mother and does not wake up for feeding, and during the day she does not breastfeed often enough (at the same time she pees a lot, which means she gets enough milk). Doesn't suck the pacifier. After long conversations and deliberations, the girl at 5 months was transferred to her mother’s bed, and feeding was established on demand. But the mother began to complain that even when sleeping together, her daughter actively sucked her fists at night and did not pay attention to the mother’s breast... By the age of 6 months, the child was given a pacifier, because... It was very difficult to remove the fingers from her mouth. Recently Natasha called and said that after sleep, when the girl wakes up, she does not call her mother. She lies and quietly cries. 10 minutes, 20, 30...Until mom accidentally looks into the room.
Psychologists-perinatologists call the behavior of a child when refusing breastfeeding psycho-emotional deprivation (i.e. destruction of relationships). If a mother is unable to establish relationships at an early age, the consequences of this will manifest themselves many times throughout her later life.
Often, breast refusal is complicated by a lack of milk. In this case, measures to increase lactation are necessary.
- A few rules if a child refuses to breastfeed:
- breast refusal is not a reason to stop breastfeeding;
- the most common reason for breast refusal is the use of pacifiers, pacifiers and bottle feeding;
- The mother’s actions in case of genuine breast refusal should be aimed at convincing the baby that the mother is a reliable person and is always ready to help;
- When retraining a child, the mother needs competent assistance from a breastfeeding specialist, as well as support from relatives.