Not often and not everyone will come up with the idea that a mother may not love her own child. Much more often, motherly love is presented as something that is not subject to any conditions, something absolute and even divine. Many believe that maternal love is the same for all women, that a mother will not only understand and support any of her children, but will also forgive for the most serious crime. It seems that there is nothing stronger than the love of a mother. However, this is not always true, and not all mothers love their children in the same way.\r\n\r\nAll social ideas about life and people have always been based on maternal love, and if not lucky, then on maternal dislike. Usually conflicts between mothers and children occur because children do not agree with how their own mother loves them. In turn, mothers are also not always able to correctly assess the degree and quality of their love for children.\r\n\r\nOver time, grown-up daughters also suffer from discomfort and a lack of motherly love and attention. Sometimes this affects their future fate and how they build their relationships with people around them. Critical mothers may spend their entire adult lives picking on their children, most often their daughters. They are trying to raise adult children who already have children of their own. And then these same mothers complain about the little attention their children give them.\r\n\r\n \r\n
\r\nThe most paradoxical thing in such a situation is that the daughters of such mothers are trying to the last to get approval from the parent, to see a smile on their face and, perhaps, to hear words of praise from them. But such mothers will not change. Unfortunately, this fact can be difficult to understand and accept, although this is the only way to get out of the vicious circle.\r\n\r\n
\r\n\r\nPsychologists recommend coming to terms with the situation and accepting as a fact the fact that the mother does not love. If you accept this, then life will become much easier. It will be possible to build your own life without regard to the opinion of the mother. In addition, in such a situation one should not be at enmity with the parent, mothers live quite peacefully under the same roof with their children, whom they do not love, but do not deny their existence. It's just that their communication takes place on a slightly different level. They can respect each other as individuals, but at the same time not invade personal space. The main thing to remember is that the mother will not change. Therefore, it is better to let go of the situation, and live your life, where you can have a loving husband and children.
Dear adult girls, have you ever thought about how you feel about your mothers and what words you say to them? Here I am, a mother who loved her daughter immensely, spoiled, kissed, took all the affairs on herself and what did she get? Now I also continue to clean, wash, cook, and not only for an adult daughter who knows only her job, but also for granddaughter. I can't live without my girls! But it's all my fault, no matter what happens. From my daughter, I do not hear affectionate words, but only orders. My granddaughter communicates well with me when my mother is not at home. But if my mother is at home, she begins to say bad words to me, push me, beat me (she is still small), apparently to please her mother. Naturally, my mother immediately blames me , which means I myself said something wrong and did it to the child. And all this in the presence of a girl! He is raising a chameleon, which will adapt to the circumstances. It is very insulting and hard to live like this. At the same time, I have heard from my daughter more than once that I am needed while the granddaughter is small, and then "you will live alone in old age." Yes, and not only I heard this ... Of course, after this I am no longer an angel either, I can say something in response. We tried to figure out the relationship with our daughter once and for all, to leave everything bad in the past, but, unfortunately, nothing happens .... That's how we live.
My mother is completely inadequate. Sometimes I think that she has something wrong with her head. Sometimes she harasses simply because she was bored. He has fun humiliating his daughter. God forbid this happens to your daughter. She herself is useless and unfulfilled. Even I don't need it now since I realized that she never loved me.
No. It's impossible to forgive. My awareness of dislike came at the age of 26. Until this year of my life, I forgave her everything. At 26, something happened in my life. And she turned away. The closest person took and turned away from me when help was needed. Then I realized that I didn’t need it at all in her life. And unloved in general. My brother has always been a favorite. Right now I'm 35 years old. I'm very angry at her. For all. We live in different cities. I call her for a mark every 2 months. And hearing how much she loves me and misses me very much, that it would be nice to be there (and she was more than once - everything was as usual - humiliation insults), I just grin at these words to her. I don’t smile and I’m glad that she loves me, but I grin.
Because now I don't believe. For me, these are empty words. And yes, I need to prove love by deeds, not by words about it. I even forbid my husband to just tell me that he loves me! Like this! Well, what are you ready to forgive and believe, many years after the REALIZATION of dislike, that your mommy, it turns out, loved you all her life and did it for your own good ?! Hardly.
But what if the mother still does not accept. I am 43g insults, humiliation, constant insults and claims, how much money you don’t give, whatever you do, everything is small and bad. I don’t love anymore, but I can’t stop communicating - my mother has grown old and her relationship with everyone is ruined. I call, I go, I apologize, another heavy “slap in the face”, after that I shout a small child, my husband, and so on in an endless circle.
no need to ask for forgiveness if you are not guilty .. asking for forgiveness from a mother who does not love you means giving her a sense of power over you. Don't apologize without guilt.. don't
Difficult topic. I know how many unloved daughters there are in the world. Many friends shared with me. I myself am in the same position. Childhood years, when the father was in the family, are excluded. Then he went to a younger and more attractive one. Finally accusing my mother of cheating. It doesn't matter if they were or not. But I, the fat daughter, had to pay for the insult. If she had not given birth to me, then her husband would not have left. She considers herself the best. The culprit of the gap in her eyes was me, an eleven-year-old girl. The attitude towards me immediately changed. Constant screams, insults with abusive words, everything is not like that - I stand, walk, hold my hands, look ... Every day, swearing and even beatings. Over time, this attitude changed to a constant demand for money, leveling my successes and constant slander to others. It was necessary to maintain the image of the "enemy" in the family. Making excuses in front of everyone is a waste of time.
Despite the difficulties, I think that in life I took place. True, I had to turn to a psychologist. Caring for a mother of 11 (eleven) years after strokes. I try to forgive, but I can't. With age I realized its cruelty. And a person, despite illness and helplessness, does not change. Claims and swearing have not gone anywhere
My mother loved only my brother, and I am the eldest "somehow." The demand from me was different, they brought me up with a “whip”. Now I am 37. I am a successful, wealthy woman, my brother, 30 years old, is a helpless man with an undeveloped life. I forgave my mother a long time ago. I love her very much and am grateful that I have her - alive and healthy. But I am not affectionate at all, I understand this and cannot remake myself, it is imbued in me. Dear mothers, love your children, but in moderation.
My mother, too, when I was small, was constantly dissatisfied with me, was constantly furious if I did everything the way I wanted ... Many years later, I understood why she behaved this way, because as a child she could not even say her opinion, because she always did what her older sisters and brothers told her and she did not dare to disobey.
And as for the fact that this may be reflected in the future, I believe that it depends on the person himself, because everyone builds his own life, he is the master of his life. We must forgive and let go, because it is not in vain that they say that the humpbacked grave will fix it. And most importantly, stop blaming, you need to live in the present.
Now, I have a great relationship with my mom. I forgave her because I understood why this attitude was towards me.
My mother loved only her older sister. She closed me and went for a walk with her sister. When I learned to walk, I found a jar of kerosene from thirst and drank it. Always, all my life I wanted her to love me. As a child, I brought her any yummy. This is a trauma for life. The sister is selfish, beloved. The most annoying thing is that I often heard from her that she and her sister crawled under the train, and I stayed on the other side, the train started moving. Mom said that if I climbed after them, I would be cut. protected me. When she died, I helped wash her and told her - I FORGIVE YOU.
I support Miroslava - this always remains: “you didn’t deserve it”, “you are the worst, others have children, and why are you like this to me” - and then there are a lot of words, what, I just don’t want to repeat ... And you always prove, you deserve ... She to I understood old age, but only I was almost old by that time, and it’s no longer necessary. It just keeps hurting. Mom, Mom, where have you been all my life ...
Everything is said correctly. Mom's dislike is a curse that haunts you all your life. And it's not about self-realization in professional activities, but about finding your love. When, even realizing that love is a given, you still try to deserve it. Because you can’t do otherwise, because you have been told all your life that you are not loved for this, this and that. From childhood you were taught to deserve love and not someone there, but the person whose love is taken for granted, a given, not a merit. Problems in personal life are a consequence of mother's dislike. And this is natural, because if the most dear person does not love you - mom, then who will love you at all? ..
I appeal to adults, unloved and unhappy daughters! Or maybe you need to ask yourself a question: “How capable am I of giving warmth and love to a mother? Do I overestimate the requirements for her? ”After all, she is a simple woman, with her pluses and minuses, joys and problems, with a developed or not very ability to express her feelings. Who needs this picking in relations with the mother? With an emphasis on blaming her and selflessly reveling in the topic: “My mother doesn’t love me?” Try to build your wonderful relationship with your children. I think that you are sure that you can do it. What do they think of these relationships? Adult daughters! Be wise and truly mature!
All that is possible is to understand that the way you imagined an ideal family there = your personal idealization. Why do you insist on it, especially in adulthood?
After all, you have seen cases of such treatment, or drunkenness in the family, or when everything is everything for one child, and nothing for another!
Say: "It happens too! And I don't know how to do it alone!" Your idealization has collapsed (created by you), based on nothing. You see that reality does NOT match your expectations, but you insist on your own. WHY ???
They took note that this also happens, they said: “All people are different, I allow them to behave as they see fit or right, depending on their moral attitudes.”
As long as you rush about with your experiences like this, and also build internal dialogues with such people, it will be so.
They behaved like that, and what about you?
In any case, you will not solve the problem. However, you can forgive. How is it? Yes, just recognize the right of others to lead as they want.
We can say that we can set deadlines for correcting the situation. Not? So no. Everything, there is nothing to discuss. You can't change anything else.
Yes, Zoritsa, of course, all people are different and have the right to behave as they see fit. But in this case, we are talking about the behavior of the mother - and after all, this behavior forms the personality of her child. And no matter how much later this grown child does auto-training, no matter how much he understands and forgives his mother, no matter how much he cultivates self-confidence - all the same, huge complexes from childhood, only driven deep and far away, will remain for life, breaking it . Therefore, of course, it is necessary to “let go” of all past grievances, but at the same time it is also necessary to realize that, by and large, nothing can be corrected. Under the condition of constant work on oneself, one can only more or less successfully pretend that “everything is fine, beautiful marquise” ...
And even as a child, I was able to say to myself: “It’s not me that’s bad, but you! ...” And I stopped paying attention to criticism from my mother ... let her talk! Otherwise I would just go crazy! She did what she considered necessary and did the right thing! Yes, what would happen to me if I listened to all the criticism addressed to me and took it to heart? I am now very mature, but even now, every time I meet my mother, she will “perform” something. And already as an adult, I often ask myself the question: “What did I do wrong as a child?” She studied well at school, graduated from the institute and got a profession, she was always in good standing at work ... What's wrong? Mystery of the human soul.
If I didn’t pay attention, I wouldn’t ask myself the question of what was done wrong? And what did he do wrong there, and for whom, everything is software. And so you just ASSURE yourself to yourself that everything is good with you, you don’t feel it, but you assure. You had everything, you have it, and, for sure, it will be fine, why is she still not happy with you and, finally, she won’t fall in love with you and rejoice with you in your successes?! Yes, what's wrong? Damn it!
As they say, the humpbacked grave will fix it. For all my actions, I hear only words of condemnation from my mother. And I'm 43 years old. I told her that I would no longer share and tell her nothing. Did not help. Therefore, I constantly argue with her, defending my point of view. Tired. I just try to communicate with her less often, take care of myself.
my mother never loved me, although I am an only child .. unfortunately I realized this late .. at the age of 35 .. actually I understood a long time ago, I took it for granted at 35 years old .. it is very difficult to understand that your mother does not love you .. who didn’t pass - WILL NOT understand .. at the moment I’m 48 and for every phrase my mother will always find a negative answer, up to insults, if she didn’t find other words .. besides, she is jealous of how I live and work so much that I don’t wishes my family prosperity .. she thinks that it is better, more beautiful and worthy of the life that I have .. when I buy myself (my husband or daughter) food, things or shoes - she criticizes everything .. but then I find a sweater or jacket hanging out of place or trousers with a stain.. she always tried to wear my shoes until I stopped buying shoes with low heels.. she can’t wear a hairpin.. when I cook food, she criticizes how I cook and does not eat.. but at night we caught her on the fact of eating from a frying pan .. sets her father against me and now he also does not eat cooked food and food .. by the way - we live with my parents and my husband realized that my mother does not love me, before me herself .. at first he was tactfully silent, but recently he has to protect me from the attacks of my mother .. how to let it go? ?? how to forgive???
The most precious word in life for every person is mom. It was for us the source of the most valuable thing - life. How does it happen that there are children and even adults from whom you can hear terrible words: “Mom doesn’t love me…”? Can such a person be happy? What are the consequences in adult life for an unloved child and what to do in such a situation?
unloved child
In all literary, musical and artistic works, the image of the mother is sung as gentle, kind, sensitive and loving. Mom is associated with warmth and care. When we feel bad, we voluntarily or involuntarily shout “Mom!”. How does it happen that for someone mom is not in this way. Why do we increasingly hear: “What if my mother does not love me?” from children and even adults.
Surprisingly, such words can be heard not only in problem families, where parents fall under the risk group category, but also in families, at first glance, very prosperous, where everything is normal in the material sense, the mother takes care of the child, feeds him, clothes , escorts to school, etc.
It turns out that it is possible to perform all the duties of a mother on the physical level, but at the same time deprive the child of the main thing - in love! If a girl does not feel maternal love, she will go through life with a pile of fears and complexes. This also applies to boys. For a child, an internal question is: “What should I do if my mother does not love me?” turns into a real disaster.Boys, in general, having matured, will not be able to treat a woman normally, they will, without noticing it themselves, unconsciously take revenge on her for the lack of love in childhood. It is difficult for such a man to build adequate, healthy and full-fledged, harmonious relationships with the female sex. 
How is maternal dislike manifested?
If a mother is prone to regular moral pressure, pressure on her child, if she tries to move away from her child, not to think about his problems and not listen to his wishes, then most likely she really does not love her child. Constantly sounding inner question: “What if my mother does not love me?” leads a child, even an adult, to depressive states, which, as you know, are fraught with consequences. Mother's dislike may arise for various reasons, but most of all it is connected with the father of the child, who did not properly treat his woman, was greedy with her in everything, both in material and in feelings. Perhaps the mother was completely abandoned, and she is raising the child herself. And not even one!
All the mother's dislike for the child arises from the difficulties that she experiences. Most likely, this woman, being a child, herself was not loved by her parents ... It would not be surprising to discover if this mother herself in her childhood asked herself the question: “What should I do if my mother does not love me?”, But she did not look for answers to it and something either change in her life, but simply imperceptibly went the same way, repeating her mother's behavior model.
Why doesn't mom love me?
It is hard to believe, but there are situations in life of total indifference and hypocrisy of a mother to her child. Moreover, such mothers can praise their daughter or son in every possible way in public, but left alone, insult, humiliate and ignore. Such mothers do not restrict the child in clothing, food or education. They do not give him elementary affection and love, do not talk heart to heart with the child, are not interested in his inner world and desires. As a result, the son (daughter) does not love his mother. What to do if trusting sincere relations do not arise between mother and son (daughter). It even happens that this indifference is imperceptible.
The world around the child perceives through the prism of maternal love. And if it is not, then how will the unloved child see the world? From childhood, the child asks the question: “Why am I unloved? What's wrong? Why is my mother so indifferent and cruel to me? Of course, for him it is a psychological trauma, the depth of which can hardly be measured. This little man will go into adulthood squeezed, notorious, with a mountain of fears and not at all able to love and be loved. How should he build his life? Is it doomed to disappointment?
Examples of negative situations
Often, mothers themselves do not notice how they created a situation with their indifference, when they are already asking the question: “What if the child does not love his mother?” and do not understand the reasons, blaming again the child. This is a typical situation, moreover, if a child asks such a question, he looks for a way out with his childish mind and tries to please his mother, blaming himself. And mom, on the contrary, never wants to understand that she herself was the cause of such a relationship.
One example of a mother's undesirable attitude towards her child is the standard school grade in the diary. One child will be cheered up if the grade is low, they say, nothing, the next time it will be higher, and the other will be neglected and will be called mediocrity and lazy ... It also happens that mom doesn’t care about studying at all, and she doesn’t look at school, and she , and will not ask about what kind of pen you need or a new notebook? Therefore, to the question: “What if the children do not love their mother?” First of all, it is necessary to answer the mother to herself: “What did I do to make the children love me?”. Mothers pay dearly for neglecting their children.
Golden mean
But it also happens that a mother pleases her child in every possible way and raises a “narcissus” out of him - these are also anomalies, such children are not very grateful, they consider themselves the center of the universe, and their mother is the source of satisfaction of their needs. These children will also grow up unable to love, but they will learn to take and demand well! Therefore, there must be a measure in everything, a “golden mean”, rigor and love! Always, when a mother, you need to look for the roots in relation to the parent to his child. It is usually distorted and crippled, needs to be corrected, and the sooner the better. Children are able to quickly forgive and forget the bad, in contrast to the already formed adult consciousness.
Constant indifference and negative attitude towards the child make an indelible imprint on his life. Mostly even indelible. Only a few unloved children in adulthood find the strength and potential in themselves to correct the negative line of fate laid down by their mother.
What should a parent do if a 3-year-old child says that she does not love her mother and can even hit her?
This situation is often the result of emotional instability. Perhaps the child is not getting enough attention. Mom does not play with him, there is no physical contact. The baby needs to be often hugged, kissed and told to him about his mother's love for him. Before going to bed, he needs to calm down, stroking his back, reading a fairy tale. The situation of the relationship between mom and dad is also important. If it is negative, then do not be surprised at the behavior of the child. If there is a grandmother in the family, then her attitude towards mom and dad is a powerful influence on the psyche of the child.
In addition, there should not be too many prohibitions in the family, and the rules should be the same for everyone. If the child is too naughty, then try to listen to him, find out what is bothering him. Help him, show an example of a calm resolution of any difficult situation. This will be a great brick in his future adult life. And all fights, of course, need to be stopped. When waving at his mother, the child must, clearly looking into his eyes and holding his hand, firmly say that his mother cannot be beaten! The main thing is to be consistent in everything, act calmly and judiciously.
What not to do
The most common question is “What should I do if I am not a child beloved by my mother?” ask themselves already matured children too late. The thinking of such a person is already formed and is very difficult to correct. But do not despair! Awareness is the beginning of success! The main thing is that such a question does not grow into a statement: “Yes, no one loves me at all!”.
It’s scary to think, but the inner assertion that I am unloved by my mother has a catastrophic effect on relationships with the opposite sex. If it so happened that the son does not love his mother, then he is unlikely to be able to love his wife and children. Such a person is unsure of his abilities, does not trust people, cannot adequately assess the situation at work and outside the home, which affects his career growth and the environment as a whole. This also applies to daughters who do not love mothers.
You can’t lead yourself into a dead end and say to yourself: “Everything is wrong with me, I’m a loser (loser), I’m not good enough (good), I ruined (ruined) my mother’s life”, etc. Such thoughts will lead to even more impasse and dive into the problem. Parents are not chosen, so the situation must be released, and mom must be forgiven!
How to live and what to do if my mother does not love me?
The reasons for such thoughts are described above. “But how to live with it?” - the unloved child will ask in adulthood. First of all, you need to stop taking everything tragically and close to your heart. Life is one, and what quality it will be, for the most part depends on the person himself. Yes, it's bad that this happened to the relationship between mom, but that's not all!
You need to firmly say to yourself: “I will no longer allow negative messages from my mother to influence my inner world! This is my life, I want to have a healthy mind and a positive attitude towards the world around me! I can love and be loved! I know how to give joy and receive it from another person! I love to smile, I will wake up with a smile every morning and fall asleep every day! And I forgive my mother and do not hold a grudge against her! I love her simply because she gave me life! I am grateful to her for this and for the life lesson she gave me! Now I know for sure that a good mood should be appreciated and fought for the feeling of love in my soul! I know the price of love and I will give it to my family!
We change consciousness
It is impossible to love by force! Well, okay ... But you can change your attitude and the picture of the world drawn in our head! You can radically change your attitude to what is happening in the family. It's not easy, but necessary. You may need the help of a professional psychologist. If we are talking about a girl, she must understand that she herself will be a mother, and the most valuable thing she can give her child is care and love!
No need to strive to please mom, and anyone else. Just live and just do good deeds. You need to do it to the best of your ability. If you feel the edge, after which an anguish may occur, stop, take a break, rethink the situation and move on. If you feel that your mother again presses on you with an aggressive attitude and drives you into a corner, say calmly and firmly “No! I'm sorry mom, but don't push me. I am an adult and I am responsible for my life. Thanks for taking care of me! I will love you back. But you don't have to break me. I want to love and give love to my children. They are my best! And I'm dad) in the world!".
There is no need to strive to please your mother, especially if in all the years of living with her you have realized that any act, no matter what you do, will be criticized or, at best, indifferent. Live! Just live! Call and help mom! Talk to her about love, but do not tear yourself more! Do everything calmly. And don't make excuses for all her reproaches! Just say: "I'm sorry, mom ... Okay, mom ...", and nothing more, smile and move on. Be wise - this is the key to a calm and joyful life!
Family relationships are complex and multifaceted.
If a question arises what if my mom doesn't love me This means that it is necessary to understand in a complex way, since the reasons for this may be different.
Which is better: to love or to be loved? find out right now.
Why do such thoughts arise?
It's hard to believe that mother has no feelings for her child. However, in practice this occurs quite often.
Dislike is expressed in emotional detachment, coldness. The problems of the child are met with indifference, irritation, aggression.
In such families frequent criticism, accusations that he is bad, naughty.
If usually the parent wants to spend time with the child, then the one who does not feel a sense of love is removed. Games, care are burdensome.
Dislike for their offspring is common among mothers who take alcohol and drugs. In this case, the psyche changes, normal human feelings atrophy, and the need to satisfy one's needs comes first.
Difficulties with expressing feelings often arise fanatically religious mothers. In this case, a person has a distorted idea of the world, family, and his own offspring.
All life is subject to one idea, and close people must agree with it and correspond to a certain ideal. If the daughter, from the point of view of religion and the mother's internal ideas about correctness, is imperfect, then the parent ceases to love her.
For some women, the feeling disappears because her daughter let her down in some way. Moreover, the reason can be completely far-fetched, it’s just that the child does not meet some invented criteria.
Misdemeanors are even more serious when the daughter commits a crime, leads an immoral life, abandons his own children.
If there was love before, now it is being replaced by distrust, resentment, and the best way to restore peace of mind is to exclude a person from your life.
Resentment against parents. How to deal with resentment and anger at the mother:
Is it possible?
Can a mother not love her child? The ability to show emotions is inherent in the type of nervous activity and character. Lifestyle also has an impact.
It seems incredible that a mother does not love her child, but it can be certain reasons:
Thus, the main reasons why a mother may not love her child are changes in the psyche, an initially cold mother, and daughter's actions that are difficult to forgive. Of course here Rarely is there a complete absence of love..
Most mothers still experience affection for their child, without even showing it outwardly or expressing anger and irritation most of the time.
Maternal instinct is in our genes. It may not appear immediately, or a person is initially cold in the outward expression of feelings, therefore he doesn't seem to like.
Psychology of hostility to daughters
Why is it said that mothers don't love their daughters? It is widely believed that mothers love daughters less.
This is probably related to feeling of competition, the struggle for the attention of the main man in the house - the father.
A growing daughter reminds a woman of her age.
Such inferiority complexes are projected on the attitude towards your child.
Why are children loved differently? Learn about it from the video:
Signs of maternal dislike
How to understand that a mother does not love her daughter? Let's look at the signs by which you can understand whether the parent really does not love you or it just seems.
Signs of dislike are usually felt from early childhood.
In some cases, the attitude towards the daughter changes already at an older age due to her actions or simply because the mother perceives her age and aging in a negative way.
Mom doesn't love me. The myth of holy motherhood:
What are the consequences?
The mother does not love her daughter. Unfortunately, the consequences of parental dislike affect the entire future life of the girl:
It's hard to live knowing that your parent doesn't love you. A person is forced to constantly be in suspense, to seek confirmation of a good relationship.
Disliked children. The influence of children's resentment on fate:
What to do?
You have to realize that in life you are faced with such a difficult situation. Do not blame the mother for not being capable of love. This is her choice.
The main task- live, enjoy life, no matter what.
You are not responsible for the attitude of other people towards you, but you are able to control your own manifestations of the psyche and actions.
What do you do if your mother doesn't love you? Psychologist's opinion:
How to make mom fall in love?
First of all no need to beg, demand love. You either have this feeling or you don't.
Look at your mother from the other side. She also has dignity, interesting aspects of personality.
Give her a chance to open up. The best way to do this is by talking. Unobtrusively be interested in her past, work, ask for advice.
It is not necessary that your mother love you, but you can become friends with her, close friends.
Her grumbling, nagging, perhaps such a peculiar way to express her love. Just for different reasons and traits she can't say those words out loud.
The mother-daughter relationship is undergoing various changes. If it seemed to you that in childhood you were not loved and appreciated enough, then in adulthood everything can change.
Your actions, your attitude towards your parents can make your mother finally see you as a person worthy of respect and love. Give her a chance to express herself, don't turn down help.
Is it really possible to make a mother love her daughter? It depends on many factors, character traits, the willingness of the woman herself to change, and her daughter accept mother for who she is.
If, as an adult, you were never able to feel motherly love, just accept it as a fact and try to maintain smooth, friendly relations as much as possible.
It also happens that family members stop talking at all.
Here - the choice of each person, and in some cases the only way to solve the problem.
Don't look for love where there isn't any, do not try to achieve attention and location by any means.
Be yourself, show your individuality, you don't have to be what other people want you to be. But at the same time, do not forget to appreciate loved ones at least for the fact that they gave you life.
Why are you unlucky in love? you will find on our website.
How to love a mother? Psychology of conflicts:
Good afternoon, I am already an adult woman, I am 31, married for 3 years, and I myself am already a mother (my daughter is 2.5 years old). I was born in the family as the second child, I have an older sister (she is 33). For all 31 years I hardly remember a kind word or touch .. My mother is a normal woman, she performed all her mother’s duties: feed, wash, scold. I could kiss her once a year on my own birthday. a name even with the ending -chka-, but only on paper, never in life. Only now I understand that I have never heard the phrase "I love you" from my mother ever. We were not friends with her, we were people who just lived together. Why was I not worthy of her affection, why have I been carrying this all my life? I want to let go of this resentment and pain, but I can’t until I hear the answer why? I can’t ask, not only are we not close, there is an abyss between us all these years. Help me figure it out, help me look at myself in a new way, because it’s very hard to love yourself when you haven’t known this for 30 years. I have a husband who loves me, thanks to him, I know what love is ... I often dreamed that my mother would just hug me, kiss me and say that I am the very best !! With my older sister, things have always been different. All my life they believe and help her .. Until I got married, I had a dissonant surname, they teased me terribly in the class, I also had skin problems and they gave me nicknames. Since childhood, my sister doesn’t love me either, in case of any quarrel, she beat the patient, called me names just like they called me names at school. Mom preferred not to scold her, but simply drag us to the corners. The father never interfered. It was very hard for me when they were humiliated at school, when there was no mutual understanding at home. I thought about suicide many times at the age of 15-16. As an adult, I began to live separately, but my mother preferred to call once a week, while my sister every day (because she has a small child), I am a completely normal woman, school and institute with almost honors, a lot of work experience ( grew up to the head), I don’t smoke and don’t drink, my husband is smart .. but still .. my mother doesn’t love me. My daughter is already 2.5, and my mother visited us only 5-6 times .. although we all live in the same city. Why such indifference even to the granddaughter? I was in the hospital, my mother didn’t even call .. although I knew .. I myself had a bad diagnosis since childhood .. I had all the symptoms .. but my mother didn’t go anywhere further than the polyclinics .. I couldn’t stand it and at the age of 15 I went to the hospital myself . When my daughter was 1.5 years old, we were kicked out of the dacha, because. the child often woke up at night and the older sister, who was resting there with her son for 7 years, was unhappy .. everyone had a terrible fight, and my mother and sister began to call my husband to pick me up with the child, although he only brought us (3 days have passed ), and this is 400 km from the city .., I went 30 km by bus to an abandoned house and waited a week for my husband .. and my mother .. didn’t even call .. where did we go? where we are, etc. The father does not interfere. For a whole year I do not communicate with my mother, father and sister. Very painful....