We are accustomed to imagine a Russian folk wedding as many days of unbridled fun: the guests famously drink, have a good snack, dance until they drop, sing until they are hoarse, and then fight with rapture.
But in reality, these festivities are only the second part of the folk wedding ritual, once called the “red table”.

The first part of it - the "black table" - is almost completely forgotten.

In ancient times, according to the rules of the "black table", the bride had to go to the ceremony of consecrating the family union not in a festive dress, as is often shown in films, but in mourning attire, as if to a funeral.

Yes, this was her ritual funeral, and in the eyes of those accompanying the betrothed was none other than the living dead.
Rudiments of these ideas could be found in Russian villages as early as the beginning of the 20th century.
And now their shadows sometimes appear among the carefree wedding fun.
According to tradition, after a home engagement, the bride immediately put on mourning: in some areas, white shirts and sundresses (white is the color of snow and death among the Slavs), in others - black (influence of the Christian idea of ​​\u200b\u200bgrief).

In the Arkhangelsk province, in general, the head of the bride was covered with a cockle, in which they were usually buried.
After that, it was time for the girl to perform the rite of lamentation for her fate.
The bride mourned herself as a dead man: in the Novgorod region, for example, people still sing about the shroud, which she wants to receive as a gift.
Often a girl in tears turned to the cuckoo with a request to convey the news to her parents.
This is also not accidental: the cuckoo was considered a bird that flew freely between the two worlds.

In many countries, it was forbidden for brides to speak, laugh, go out, and sometimes even sit down at a common table.
They are dead, they can’t do anything except dowry, and that’s only because, according to popular beliefs, women’s souls in the other world are allowed to spin and sew.
The very word "bride" means "unknown" (from "not to know"), that is, impersonal, like all the dead.
For brides, they also sewed special shirts with sleeves below the tassels so that they would not touch people and things - the touch of a dead man could be fatal.

Finally, the traditional veil, which later transformed into a veil, was originally a means to hide the bride's look, which was once perceived as the same as a witch's.

In this context, the original meaning of the custom of arranging a bath for the bride on the eve of the wedding becomes clear. This is nothing but ablution before the funeral.
In the Karelian villages, the newlywed was even laid after that, like a dead man, in a red corner under the images.

The groom belonged to the world of the living.
Accordingly, his task was to go to the world of the dead, find his bride there and bring her back to life, making her a woman.
The very parting of the groom with his parents and relatives before leaving for the bride reproduces the speech of a man lying on his deathbed.
Arriving at the bride, the young man found that her friends did not let him into the house.

In the Nizhny Novgorod province, the “guards” directly stated that a dead man was lying in the house.
The only way to get there is to pay a ransom for gates, doors, stairs, etc.

Friends who do not want to let the bride go act here as her afterlife companions.
Equally dressed, they demanded from the groom that he guessed among them his betrothed, in other words, removed from her a deadly facelessness.
It was necessary to guess up to three times, if all attempts were unsuccessful, it was considered a bad omen - the marriage would not be strong.

But the groom did not come to the bride alone either, he had a friend (the main manager of the married relatives of the groom) and a thousand (the godfather of the groom) with him.
Without them, the living in the world of the dead is very vulnerable, because it risks meeting much more insidious inhabitants of the other world than the bridesmaids.
Tysyatsky was the holder of the wedding treasury and redeemed everything that was due according to the rite.
And the friend wielded a whip, whipping them crosswise, scaring away demons.
He could help the groom look for the bride.
A special towel was tied over his shoulder - a towel embroidered in red.

It was a symbol of the way to another world: on the towels they lowered the coffin into the grave, and sometimes even laid it on the deceased.
After the blessing of the bride's parents, the wedding train was arranged.
The bride rode with her matchmaker and in some cases lay down on her knees, portraying the deceased.
In her hands was a broom - a talisman against evil spirits, so that she would not keep her from returning to the world of the living.

In the Kostroma and Rostov provinces, the wedding train stopped at the cemetery on the way, so that the spirits of the ancestors would not be offended that they were being taken away from them that once belonged to them.

But all the precautions were taken, the bride was redeemed, the rite of consecration of the family union was performed, and she was brought to the groom's house.

Here, all the participants in the wedding were sprinkled with well water, and the carts drove through the laid out fire: it was supposed to be cleansed after communicating with the world of the dead.
The same rite, by the way, was observed in the homelands, and at funerals.
In the house of her husband, the bride put on a white shirt with colorful embroidery and a festive red poneva (skirt).
The girl's braid was untwisted, and a kichka, a headdress of married women, was put on her head.

After the young people were escorted to the bedroom.
The next morning, a newly born person appeared before the guests, and in ancient times this was understood literally: the one who became a wife changed not only her surname (family name), but also her personal name.
This metamorphosis was "officially" fixed the next day through the ritual of searching for the bridegroom's relatives in the house of her parents: there was a man - and not.
For the same purpose, the search for the deceased was also carried out.
So the ritual point was put.

Rituals and customs in Russia

WEDDING RITE.

Wedding ceremonies in Russia evolved over the centuries. Every word, every gesture of the rite had a symbolic meaning. So, the marriage ceremony was preceded by betrothal in front of witnesses. It was accompanied by the ceremony of joining the hands of the bride and groom and giving the groom a ring to the bride.

This ring served not only to adorn the bride, but also as a symbol of the fact that the whole household was now entrusted to her care. All documents were fastened with a stone set in a ring.

The basis of the Russian wedding was ritual games: matchmaking, bridegroom, conspiracy, bachelorette party, wedding and others.

All these rituals were accompanied by lyrical, laudatory, playful songs. In all wedding rituals, the bride and groom - the prince and princess, the swan and the swan - were put forward in the first place.

The wedding feast lasted 3-4 days.
Nowhere was the triumph of healers so glorified as in rural weddings. A prosperous family life, eternal strife, illness, home-cooked meals - everything depends on the healers. Starting a wedding, they went to the healer with big gifts, bows, with requests - to protect the young from wedding ruin. The medicine man was the first guest at the wedding: he is the first to be called, he owns the first glass of green wine, they bake a pie for him, send gifts.

Wedding litter consists in the observance of many rituals for the future well-being of the “prince and princess”. The medicine man inspects all corners, thresholds, reads slander, gives slanderous water to drink, blows on the tablecloth, sweeps the ceiling, puts the key under the threshold, drives black dogs out of the yard, inspects the brooms, smokes the bathhouse, sprinkles food, goes to the forest for elderberry and hands the matchmaker a branch nine-grain pod. On the third day, the healer takes the matchmaker with him to the bath, and here the promises are calculated. If he gets persuaded, then this branch is burned.

From time immemorial, a wedding for a woman was something more than a celebration and a festive date on the calendar. Consequently, the choice of a wedding dress was approached with more diligence than any other outfit. It will be interesting to know that white has not always been associated with a wedding. Previously, completely different colors were preferred by the bride. And the styles were very different from those that we are used to seeing on the brides. An excursion into the past world of wedding fashion promises to be interesting, exciting and sometimes even filled with surprise.

Major fashion trends

The rich decoration of the bride testified to the wealth of her family, so the most expensive fabrics were chosen to create a wedding dress. Often it was silk or tulle, satin or velveteen. The fabric was richly decorated with gold threads and valuable natural fur.

The customs of bygone times were strict and required the bride to choose as closed a dress as possible. The maximum length was present not only on the skirt, but also on the sleeves.

Natural colors were common, as they were created on the basis of only natural ingredients. A bright wedding dress of scarlet, blue or pink could only be found on a very wealthy bride.

What kind of jewels were not decorated with expensive wedding dresses. Pearls, diamonds, sapphires and emeralds were used. Their number was sometimes so large that it was difficult to see the fabric of the dress itself.

The most striking proof of this fact is the wedding of Countess Margaret of Flanders, whose dress was very heavy due to the large amount of jewelry. They numbered in the thousands. It was impossible to walk in such a dress, so she was brought into the church.

17th century

With the advent of the 17th century, weddings began to take on a more dynastic role. But this did not in the least moderate the ardor of the brides, who tried their best to appear before the guests in the most beautiful dresses.

True, these efforts were not always appreciated. Take at least the wedding of Princess Katrina of Braganza from Portugal and the English king. The bride did not change the fashion trends of her country and chose a pink dress, which provided for the presence of an internal frame. The British did not understand this decision, although after some time they fell in love with such wedding dresses.

18 century

This period was marked by the high popularity of natural expensive fur in wedding dresses. Only very wealthy young ladies who chose fur from mink and sable could afford such a finish.

Brides from not so wealthy families were content with fox or hare fur. Well, quite poor brides could afford to choose linen fabric for sewing dresses instead of the usual coarse material that was used to create everyday clothes.

The status of the bride could be judged by the length of the sleeves and hem on her dress. For ordinary girls, whose wealth was not fabulous, the wedding dress later served as festive clothing, which was worn for big holidays.

At that time, the white color did not yet serve as the main color for a wedding dress, although it was considered immaculate.

Due to its impracticality and soiling, pink and blue were predominant. By the way, it was the blue color that was associated with the purity of the Virgin Mary herself. This custom has also reached modern brides from English-speaking countries, who always add an element of blue to their outfit.

Pink was also often present in wedding attire. Take, for example, the dress of the bride of Joseph Nolekes (British sculptor), which, although it was created from white fabric, was richly decorated with pink flowers. The outfit was complemented by very high shoes for that time (as much as 8 cm) with the same pink embroidery. Despite its unusual and extravagance, this outfit attracted all fans of wedding fashion, and women of fashion took it into their arsenal.

As for the red color and all its bright shades, they did not appear in wedding fashion soon, because they were associated with debauchery. The green color was also ignored, which was attributed to forest mythical creatures such as elves and fairies.

Another categorical color was black, which carried mourning overtones. Even the guests tried not to wear it, so as not to invite trouble on the young. Yellow was just beginning to appear in the world of bridal fashion, reviving and flourishing with renewed vigor after it was declared pagan in the 15th century.

The poorest brides had no choice but to wear dresses in shades of gray or brown, which were the most practical and non-marking. A hundred years have passed and the gray color has become associated with servants.

19th century

The beginning of the 19th century brought with it the fashion for ribbons, which were richly decorated with wedding dresses. They were multi-colored and each guest tried to tear off one ribbon for himself in memory of such a significant event.

A little time passed and the ribbons were replaced by flowers. Guests brought beautiful bouquets with them to congratulate the newlyweds, and brides held no less beautiful flower arrangements in their hands. The bride's dress and hair were decorated with flowers.

I wonder why they break dishes at a wedding and why it is customary for a bride to be brought into the house in her arms?

It turns out that most modern 200 years ago were not made at all for the sake of a beautiful effect - they are based on ancient wedding rites that have come down to us from the depths of pagan times.

1. History of wedding ceremonies.

If, with the help of a time machine, we got to a peasant wedding (for example, the 17th century), then, firstly, we would hardly have cheered up, and secondly, we would not have understood even half of what was happening - some kind of senseless mixing of songs, crying and mysterious "body movements". Nevertheless, everything, down to the smallest detail, at Russian weddings had its own meaning, meaning and was strictly regulated.

Ancient wedding ceremonies- this is a system of consistent and clearly played out rituals (many of which "live" to this day, only in a somewhat lighter version).

The sequence was as follows: first - matchmaking, then - the bride, "handshaking" (today - "engagement") and, finally, "howling" (from "howl", "cry"). Be sure to arrange a bachelorette party - for the preparation and crying of the bride, her girlfriends and relatives and "young people" - for the groom and his friends. The most important element is the ransom, after which there was a wedding. Having got married, the young people went for a walk and then to a wedding feast. Isn't it very familiar moments?

2. The ceremony of matchmaking and betrothal.

Today, matchmaking and betrothal are optional or have a symbolic secular character, while in the old days it was on the day of “handshaking” that they agreed on the wedding day and publicly recognized young people as the bride and groom. It was then that the first gift was made to the bride - a ring, which was a kind of "deposit". Other valuable gifts were also presented along with the ring - a sign that there was no turning back.

At the same moment, the young received an official blessing from their parents, that is, both consent and parting words for a friendly life together. The betrothal necessarily took place in the presence of witnesses, for whom a small feast was arranged.

3. Pre-wedding "week" and bachelorette party

Usually, the betrothal was followed by a “week” (however, this could go on for a week and a half or two), during which preparations were made for the wedding. Throughout this period, the bride did not appear in public and all the time wailed and cried, because she had to symbolically die for her family and clan, and then be reborn for a new life in her husband's family. And who wants to die? Hence the vytie (with an emphasis on "Y").

Parents greeted the newlyweds with bread and salt (they still do this today). The newlyweds took a bite from the loaf, which was then broken over their heads. The spouses had to keep this bread for the rest of their lives, because from time immemorial it symbolized family wealth, the fertility of the land and livestock. And, although in our century everything is no longer so serious, the loaf moment is always present.

So that not only cattle and bread, but also children were found in the house of the newlyweds, the young were seated on an animal skin or fur coat turned upside down with fur. Most likely, these were symbols of animal fertility.

A little more about the Slavic wedding can be found in the article "Slavic wedding"

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8. Traditions of the wedding feast.

The wedding festivities lasted up to three days: the first - in the groom's house, the second - in the bride's house, on the third they returned to the groom again. Moreover, the newlyweds did not eat anything on the first day of the wedding feast. Between the first and second days, the ceremony of "laying down and waking up" the young was carried out. From the point of view of our ancestors, such control over the wedding night was the key to healthy offspring. Often, as a sign of fertility, the marriage bed of a young couple was lined with various tools.

During the feasts (on the second and third days), the newlyweds were given "checks". For example, they forced her to kindle the stove, cook, sweep the floor, while they interfered with her in every possible way, testing the patience and zeal of the young mistress. (In our time - this is the tradition of the 2nd day of the wedding). The newly-made spouse could put an end to these claims, switching the attention of the guests to vodka and treats.

The following custom contributed to the “twinning” of families and the beginning of their communication: the groom’s parents sat next to the bride, and the bride’s parents sat next to the groom. And at Russian weddings, they feasted and sang laudatory, that is, laudatory, songs to spouses, their parents and boyfriend, there was a place for various amusements.

Modern weddings are not so strictly "burdened" with conventions - they are more fun, musical and spectacular. And yet, it is precisely ancient wedding ceremonies which make up the main outline of the wedding celebration program and bring touching and heartfelt notes to it, or, conversely, give rise to their comic playing.

Understanding the Origins of Russian Wedding Traditions makes it possible to use them consciously, carefully and freely.

The correct inclusion of ancient rituals in a modern wedding scenario becomes a decoration of the holiday, and the wedding itself with them becomes a real joyful event and a good start for a long and happy family life for the newlyweds!

Publications in the Traditions section

Unusual wedding traditions

In Russia, getting married or getting married in the fall was considered a good omen. The most successful was the wedding played a few days before or immediately after the feast of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos. It is believed that at this time the newly-born young family is taken under her protection by the Mother of God, the patroness of married women and mothers, and it is these marital unions that are the strongest. On the topic and folk proverbs: “The Pokrov-father came - he removed the girl in the crown”, “It’s fun to hold the Pokrov - to find a good groom (bride)”.

Lamentations, stammers, glances, evening parties, antiphonal singing- the usual names in wedding celebrations of ancient times. In the midst of autumn, we have collected the most colorful, interesting and unusual wedding ceremonies and decorated them with incendiary, touching songs from the new objects of the Traditions section and photographs of their original performers.

Residents of Sebezh villages have preserved the memory of an old wedding, at which the performance of wedding marches by an ensemble of violin and cymbals was obligatory. Many texts of their wedding songs have a ritual-magic orientation. In the Sebezhsky district, an archaic form of performing wedding songs “for two choirs” (antiphonal singing), unique for Russian song traditions, was recorded: a group of singers performs one stanza of the song - the second group repeats it in response.

On the eve of the wedding, friends took the bride to say goodbye to all the villagers. The bride said goodbye to everyone, bowed and asked for forgiveness.

The bride and groom went to church, to the crown, separately (each from his own house). On the morning of the wedding day, the bride was “scratched her head” (braid), then she prayed to God, asked for blessings from her relatives, after which she was taken to the table.

The ritual of combing the bride's hair, like many other stages of the wedding, was aimed at the well-being, wealth, and fertility of the future family. This is evidenced by the use of special attributes: the bride was put on a bread bowl (a container for kneading dough), covered with an inside-out fur coat. The father was the first to “scratch her head” to the bride: he ran a comb through her hair crosswise, baptized the bride. The next is the mother, then the “boyars”.

Among Russian old-timers, on the morning of the first wedding day, the girls gathered in the bride's house. They took the burdock (bush) dressed up from the evening and, singing songs, went to the groom's court. There is evidence that, along with the burr, the girls took with them a dressed-up bath broom. The bush was entrusted to carry the closest friend of the bride. On the way to the groom, they sang the song “How it was in the garden, the garden,” and when they approached the gate of the groom, “Oh, are you my branch, twig.” The groom met the girls at the gate, took the bush, invited the girls to the house and treated them. After the treat, the groom gave the bride soap or perfume as a gift.

The girls returned to the house of the bride, who was sitting waiting for her friends, sat around her and sang the song “The light and Maryushka at Batiushka have grown old and mellowed”. The bride was crying.

Then the girls heated the bathhouse and led the bride to bathe. According to the recollections of the residents of the Karmaskaly district, a bathhouse could be prepared in someone else's yard, at the other end of the street, in order to lead the bride through the village as long as possible.

In the wedding ritual of Petrishchevo - pre-wedding meetings of representatives of two clans (matchmakers, court yard look, re-drinking), rituals of farewell of the bride with her friends (bachelorette party) and her dressing up, presenting the bride and groom with their relatives for porridge, ransoming the bride and her attributes, tying the young woman in the house groom.

Upon arrival, the groom was not allowed to enter the bride's house, they did not let him near the table and the bride herself, demanding a ransom, and representatives of the two clans began to "tremble" - to sing cinnamon: “Come, the young one must be redeemed, the groom is not allowed to visit her. Well, the groom is there and sweets, and vodka, even the money that they give to the boyars, the girls. Well, and songs. Who to turn over whom ”; “You are swatti, like dogs, barking. And we, too, will not miss it, at the news. We can walk there, we can walk like a hut. This is how they fight. In general, every svaygo wants to exalt. That one is good, but mine is better. Well, then sing tady, who knows what.

At the same time, the godparents of the bride and groom were measured by "favorite" - rolls, baked in advance by them and brought to the wedding: “Then, how will the two come together - the bridegroom's cross and the cross - and here: “Which bun is better? In my, in my godchild, what kind of "- well, hiding your own".

Ukrainian settlers in the Voronezh region accompany wedding ceremonies with numerous songs-refrains commenting on the events. The villagers have preserved their original language, which is a special group of dialects of the southeastern Ukrainian dialect. At the same time, they position themselves as a special ethnic group (they do not consider themselves either Ukrainians or Russians), they stand out among the environment with clothes, everyday life and other components of spiritual and material culture.

When close relatives of the groom went to "woo", the groom was not present - they took a hat instead. With a successful matchmaking, the bride tied up the matchmakers with embroidered towels - towels. A general pilgrimage was arranged right there, and after it - a small feast.

The bridegroom with friends and the bride with friends went to the wedding from their homes. From the church they dispersed to their homes, where a festive feast was held for their relatives. From the groom's house they collected a wedding train for the bride: they decorated horses and carts, tied up the headman and friends with towels. A red voucher (flower) was sewn to the groom's cap on the right. The number of people who went for the bride had to be unpaired, then the bride made up a couple for the groom.

The symbol of the wedding in the village of Uryv was a wedding flag made of red linen, which was made both in the house of the groom and in the house of the bride. The groom's wedding train rode with one flag, and the bride's house was marked with the second.

The wedding ceremony of the eastern regions of the Kirov region is a detailed multi-stage action, saturated with ritual songs and lamentations, genres of verbal folklore. Ritual singing marked all the important events of the wedding.

Of particular interest and value are wedding choral lamentations performed by girls at a bachelorette party or during the blessing of the bride and accompanied by her weeping.

The place of the manager at the wedding in the eastern regions of the Kirov region was occupied by a friend. He negotiated with the matchmaker and girlfriends at the ransom of the bride, followed the order of ritual actions. Druzhka "sentenced the whole wedding" - he pronounced the texts of sentences (slanders), did not sit down at the table during the entire festivities, treated the guests at the festive table.

Matchmakers played a significant role in the wedding ceremony. These are relatives from the side of the bride and groom, who carried out the function of communication between the two clans. The matchmakers exchanged ritual objects (bread, beer) during the ceremony, they were “cursed” in special choruses, the groom’s matchmaker danced the bride.

The wedding ceremony of the Xuan of the Kukmor Udmurts living in the Republic of Tatarstan lasts about a year and consists of many stages. The ritual includes matchmaking, collusion and the actual wedding, which is divided into two parts.

The first part of the wedding includes the arrival of the wedding train, lunch at the bride's house, her removal to the groom's house and the change of the girl's headdress to the wedding one, consisting of ashyan and a syulyk scarf. This part of the rite is strictly regulated in time and can take place only in the period from Peter's Day to the summer holiday of the icon of the Kazan Mother of God (July 21). After one to six months, the ceremony of removing the headscarf is performed, after which the young woman returns to live with her parents.

The second, main part of the wedding is connected with Shrovetide, when the main wedding feast takes place first in the bride's house, and after she is taken away - at the groom's.

In the Sverdlovsk region, on the eve of the betrothal, before the bath, the girlfriends go to the groom without the bride. Two girls dress up as a bride and groom. Approaching the house, the costumed "bride" with the girls lament. Then they give gifts to the bride's groom, in response he decorates two brooms - one with sweets, ribbons, the second - with soap and hands them to the girls. The trip ends with a treat for bridesmaids and fun.

On the day of the crown, after waking up in the morning, the bride performs the ceremony of “gifting maiden beauty”. Under lamentations, she gives the girls ribbons lying in front of her on a platter.

At the end of the feast, arranged for the girls after the distribution of beauty, a ceremony is held "refusal of the bride from bread and salt in the parental home." The father moves the table away from his daughter (option: the mother closes the plate of food in front of her daughter), and the bride breaks the spoon or breaks the plate. The episode is accompanied by group lamentations.

In the fence, the bridegroom and the bride of the matchmaker converge and stand on the sweatshirt spread out in front of the porch. In some cases, they shake hands, exchange glasses with drinks, clink glasses, drink and kiss, in others - each woman, clinking glasses, tries to pour wine into another glass. Whose matchmaker succeeds, he will be the master in the house.

In the village of Keba, Arkhangelsk region, the transition of the bride to a new family is perceived as leaving for the next world, therefore the ritual is called "wedding - funeral." Its distinguishing feature is the inclusion of a large number of solo and group lamentations.

The next day after the matchmaking, handshaking was arranged, to which the groom came with his relatives, and the bride invited her close relatives. Mother set the table. The bride was taken to the guests from another room by her godfather and placed at the table under the icons. All the guests were poured a glass of wine, then the girls - assistants or friends - led the bride by the arms to the middle of the hut. The closest friend with tears brought the bride a mirror so that she could look into it.

The groom served the bride's relatives the wine he had brought with him, after which he was forced to kiss the bride, who turned away and tried to cover herself with a scarf. At this time, the godfathers beat on the hands. A watchman was placed next to them - a "knowledgeable" person who made sure that no one spoiled the young. They said: if the jelly on the table turns black, then someone has caused damage. After they shook hands, crybabies began to sound - the lamentations of the bride, who began to cry, that is, she began to cry, and the girls picked him up.

It is believed that there were no weddings in pagan Russia. In those days, games were often started between neighboring villages and villages, girls and young people gathered, danced, sang - and the marriage was very simple: the man himself chose his wife and took her to his house, but only with her consent. Even in those distant times, a woman had the right to choose, which she almost completely lost in the 18th-19th centuries, when in many cases parents picked up the daughter of a profitable groom, even if he was old and not good-looking, but rich. And the girl did not dare to argue.

Along with this, the Tale of Bygone Years, saturated with the richest factual material, tells a very romantic story of love and marriage of PRINCE Igor and Olga. The newlyweds were showered with hops so that life would be rich. Of course, we are interested in the festive attire of the bride. All decorations and fabrics were brought by Igor from Byzantium, and it must be said that the fabrics were no less precious than the decorations. The bottom of the dress is decorated with embroidery, as well as the collar and sleeves.

In those days, embroidery ornaments had a deeply magical and protective meaning. The veil did not exist, a beautiful scarf was thrown over the head so that the hair was not visible. It is believed that this also protects against the evil eye. Perhaps, in later times, it was the veil that replaced the scarf.

By the middle of the 13th century, a wedding terminology had developed: “groom”, “bride”, “marriage”, “matchmakers”, “wedding”, “wedding”, etc. Already in Russia, a marriage contract appears - a series that was made by matchmakers or relatives. In line records, the size of the dowry was indicated in detail, the payment of a significant penalty was provided, as a compensation in case of the groom's refusal to marry, often caring fathers included a clause prohibiting beating his wife or treating her badly. The series was legally binding.

First of all, however, there was marriage.

Dahl's explanatory dictionary gives the following definition to this rite: "Wooing is an offer to a girl, and more to her parents, to marry her to such and such." Meanwhile, the groom is not obliged to woo himself, this can be entrusted to his parents, sometimes godparents or close relatives took over the matchmaking duties.

In Russia, in the old days, the groom sent people prepared by him to the bride's house to agree on the possibility of a wedding. Most often it was a matchmaker, and sometimes the groom's parents or close male relatives. It was customary to start a conversation from afar, it always developed according to a certain plot and did not force the relatives of the bride to give a definite answer right away. If circumstances required it (for example, indecision on the part of the bride's relatives, her parents' long thought, etc.), matchmakers could be sent up to 3-4 times. Accepting the groom's proposal, the bride's parents cut the bread brought by the matchmakers before returning it. In case of refusal, the bread was returned whole to the matchmakers.

They did not always immediately give consent to marriage, they often agreed to meet in a week or two. During this time, the bride's parents tried to find out how hardworking men were in the groom's family, whether there were any drunkards or sick people. Perhaps this circumstance also explains why previous generations were much healthier than us. Who will now make inquiries about the health of the relatives of the bride or groom? By the way, in many foreign countries, even now, before the wedding, you must submit a health certificate.

To ensure successful matchmaking, it was necessary to observe many traditions and signs. So, in order to avoid the evil eye, they went to woo after sunset. On the way to the bride's house, the matchmakers tried not to meet or talk to anyone. When the matchmakers left, one of the groom's household (usually one of the women) tied all the tongs and pokers together - so that good luck would accompany the case. The days of the week played an important role - Wednesday and Friday, for example, were considered inappropriate days for any wedding undertakings. Such dates of the month as the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th, in any pre-wedding and wedding procedures, played a kind of ritual role, being considered lucky. But the 13th was considered the worst day for matchmaking and marriage, and they tried to avoid it.

If the groom himself went to the matchmaking, he should have two bouquets with him, the first for the bride, the second for her mother. According to the ancient Slavic custom, offering a hand and heart, they turn to the parents of the chosen one. The groom tells them about the strength and depth of his feelings for their daughter. And after a successful matchmaking, the future young people agree on the announcement of the engagement and determine a suitable date for her.

The engagement in old Russia was called collusion and was the most important pre-wedding ceremony. The parents of both sides sat opposite each other and were silent for a while, as was the custom. After that, they made an agreement and wrote the so-called “row note”, which indicated what time the wedding would take place.

In the house of a bride of noble origin, a ball was held with refreshments, where her father introduced the future young people to the audience and solemnly announced their engagement. This was followed by official congratulations from all those present. When the congratulation ceremony ended, the bride and groom opened the ball with a waltz.

In urban families, which are poorer, the engagement was not so magnificent. The official acquaintance of the parents of the bride and groom took place modestly, after which the clergyman performed the rite of blessing. The clergyman was always present and when giving away the monetary part of the dowry, the father of the bride transferred the entire amount agreed in advance to the father of the groom.

In small villages, close relatives from both sides were always present at the engagement. The parents blessed the bride and groom with an icon, and then, according to tradition, there was an exchange of bread and salt. Then the fathers of the bride and groom alternately gave each other seven bows, shook hands and publicly promised to complete the work they had begun in agreement. Having received a parental blessing, the bride immediately went out onto the porch and, bowing the same seven times on all sides, announced to her friends and neighbors who had gathered at her house that she was finally betrothed.

Engagement may well be called a preliminary contract of marriage. For centuries, this co-existence has been the most important in people's lives, sometimes even more important than the wedding itself. Girlish dreams have come true, parents are happy and there are joyful chores ahead. It is curious that even in the time of Peter the Great, the engagement was accompanied by an exchange of rings (hence the word "betrothal"). Only in 1775, under Catherine II, the exchange of rings was combined with the wedding at the behest of the Holy Synod. Even the white color of the dress came into fashion under this queen.

The wedding itself was unusually colorful and cheerful. The favorite color was red - both-reg. The clothes of those present also combined bright, rich colors: scarlet, blue, green and yellow.

In Russia, since ancient times, the scythe was considered a symbol of girlish beauty. Later, girls' and women's hairstyles appeared. After marriage, the hair was braided into two braids and the head was always covered with a scarf. There was no greater insult to a married woman than to tear a handkerchief from her head.

An old Russian wedding is considered a complex, but wise and beautiful performance with a great many signs and beliefs. They were sacredly observed, since the wedding ritual left an imprint on the entire subsequent life of the young couple. However, a wedding is not only an act of celebration, but everything that precedes it and what follows it.

On the eve of the wedding, the bath was always heated for the bride. She marked farewell to her native home and girlhood. The bride was led into the bathhouse under the arms of her friend. They carried a broom decorated with rags, and after the bath they combed the bride's hair and weaved a girl's braid for the last time. And then a fun bachelorette party began in the bride's house.

There was a belief that if there was no matchmaking, “closing” of the bride and an obligatory “feast for the whole world” during the Christian church ceremony, society did not recognize this marriage and did not consider the wedding valid. And for a very long time in Russia, the wedding ceremony was more important for public opinion than a church wedding.

On the morning before the wedding, the bride said goodbye to her parents and friends, she was dressed up and combed. They always came for the bride, even if she lived very close by. And in the groom's house at that time they were preparing for the ransom of the bride. Before reaching the bride, the groom had to overcome many obstacles. And this also has its own deep meaning - after all, happiness must first be fought for. The “wedding train” could always come across some kind of ambush, and then it depended only on the generosity of the groom how soon he would see his chosen one: he had to distribute many large and small coins on his way to the bride’s house. By tradition, negotiations with the representatives of the bride were conducted by a friend. He also redeemed both the bride's braid and the place next to her, and for this, the friend needed to solve riddles and present all the bridesmaids with money, ribbons and sweets. Well, after all the trials were left behind, the groom took a place at the festive table next to his chosen one, usually on a dais, while guests and relatives were seated around them in accordance with their ranks. The magnificent wedding feast lasted for 3 whole days, and each day had its own, strictly established schedule.

Let's say a few words about the wedding sundress. For the first time, a "sarafan" as women's clothing was mentioned in the 17th century. It was a robe in the form of a dress with sleeves, and many researchers believe that such clothing did not exist before. In the 17th century, Elena Glinskaya married Vasily III. In accordance with the canons of church vestments, a new design is created for this event, which is mentioned in Russian chronicles as a “sarafan”. The golden brocade sarafan was the clothes of the queen, it was worn only by members of the royal family.

In 1762, Catherine allowed all segments of the population to wear sarafans, although they were sewn from other fabrics than royal ones. And at the end of the 18th century, when the nobles and wealthy merchants switched to wearing a European wardrobe, the sundress turned into clothes for poor people. Gradually, it became only peasant clothing.

A girl's wedding sundress was worn with muslin "sleeves", complemented with a ribbon, a silk scarf. In general, sundresses were decorated with frills, braid edgings, muslin ribbons, stripes of contrasting fabrics and were necessarily covered with beautiful belts. Over the sundress they put on a short jacket (in our understanding, a short, to the waist, jacket with long sleeves, reaching in front to the middle of the chest, so that the front of the dress was visible), the outfit was completed with a cylindrical headdress made of brocade, decorated on the back of the head with wide silk ribbons, cascading down on the back. A shawl with a bright border was wrapped around the figure, draped over the chest, and twisted around the waist.

Let us return, however, to the wedding. According to the scenario, roles were assigned to all its participants. The groom is a prince, the bride, respectively, is a princess. Honored guests and close relatives are big boyars, and distant relatives and all other guests are lesser boyars. The high titles conferred at the time of the wedding made people feel almost great. A friend participated in all weddings - that is, a married man who knows the ritual well, the task of the friend was to entertain and amuse the guests, as well as to cheer the groom (in our time, these duties are most often performed by the toastmaster); together with the friend, the matchmaker and the matchmaker carried their ritual duties.

As for the “kidnapping” of brides, this was quite common, and was explained by the simple reason that the bride and groom did not have money. This fact was undesirable, but at least it was clear to everyone.

The wedding feast did not last the same length for everyone. Everything depended on the social status of the newlyweds. As for the aristocratic surnames, the bulk of the invited guests sent gifts to the house in the morning, then the newlyweds, accompanied by relatives, went to the church for the wedding, in the evening the young rested or immediately went on a trip.

The merchants celebrated the wedding for several days, as far as there was enough money, but the guests were also chosen.

But in the village everyone was walking, and, of course, there was no talk of any honeymoon trip.

Although divorce was not practiced and families were considered strong, they did not talk about love. Everything was decided by the parents, in any social strata, according to the saying "be patient - fall in love." Otherwise, there would be no Katerina from Ostrovsky's Thunderstorm or Anna Karenina. Maybe Katerina's mother-in-law treated her so badly that she felt in her heart that she did not love her son. Yes, and the most modern mother will not be able to treat her daughter-in-law differently in such circumstances.

My neighbor got married just on the basis of the principle “be patient - fall in love”. When she came home a year later to give birth, her first phrase was: "I will never endure, I will never fall in love." So that!

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