Start a career as a polygamist without marvelous,
dappled gray suit was impossible.
In addition, it was necessary to have at least ten
rubles for representation and seduction.
You could, of course, get married on a camping trip.
green suit, because man's strength and
Bender's beauty was completely irresistible
for provincial margaritas for marriage, but
it would be, as Ostap said: “Low
grade. Not a clean job."
© I. Ilf, E. Petrov, "12 chairs"
In principle, a marriage swindler is the male analogue of a dynamite. He is looking for a person who needs something, and throws him at the money. A man really wants to fuck - there is a risk of running into a dynamite. My aunt is already unbearable to get married - and marriage swindlers are right there ...
Frequent visitors to the psychotherapist's office are victims of marriage swindlers who, as a result of pleasant communication with a "promising and best" man, have lost a lot or almost everything. And now they need help to survive the recent humiliation, remove the romantic veil from their eyes and - most importantly - learn to trust other people again, without risking again falling into the bait of a scammer.
When asked why they didn’t come earlier and sort out the rapidly developing relationship that you weren’t able to reasonably control, there was only one answer: “I thought that I myself was smart enough to understand everything and figure out the swindler.” The result is the loss of tens, hundreds of thousands, and even millions of rubles, and often an apartment.
I understand that not everyone is ready to go for a consultation with a specialist. There are many reasons for this, so I want to give some tips on how to avoid the terrible fate of the victim of a marriage swindler.
Especially often the victims of marriage scams are people looking for a partner on the Internet. Communication through websites and social networks greatly facilitates the task of a marriage swindler - to please the future victim already in absentia and often fall in love with himself, without the risk of being exposed when communicating face to face. When such a meeting occurs, the victim no longer critically perceives those signs that can give out a marriage swindler at the beginning of communication.
It’s worth saying right away that I deliberately say “marriage swindler”, since 99% of women who turn to psychologists for advice are women who are “lucky” to get into the networks of “bandits out of love”. Men are embarrassed to ask for help and rely on the fact that they themselves will be able to understand everything, and having become a victim of a marriage swindler, they are afraid to confess. Therefore, my advice is more addressed to women.
So, first: how to recognize a marriage swindler?
It often appears as a person of a profession, covered with a halo of romance and mystery - a scout, a prominent lawyer, an employee of a serious government agency, a sea captain, etc. This allows not to talk about the work, referring to secrecy, that is, the possibility of verification by the future victim is excluded, and on the other hand, it gives additional charm. Another option is a big businessman who does not want publicity when looking for a life partner. And only he will reveal the secret to you, as he is sure of your joint future. But - does not open!
Never introduce the future victim to friends and relatives. There can be incredibly many reasons - an orphan, everyone is in exile, he is depressed and does not want to see anyone, and so on. Interestingly, the more absurd the reason, the easier future victims will believe in it.
Avoids being photographed, or does everything to be unlike himself in the photo.
Almost at the very beginning of your acquaintance, he quietly finds out your financial situation.
Seeks to get to your house as quickly as possible and gain a foothold there. If you don’t want to let him in, demonstrative resentment and misunderstanding are used, how can you not trust HIM, who is so correct and inviting to family life. After all, you want to marry him, then why don't you take this step towards?
In the next meetings, he begins to “forget” his credit card, phone, receives an unexpected fine in the absence of a wallet. Thus, finding out your willingness to part with your own money for him.
Very often sends you an expensive gift through the delivery service, "forgetting" to pay for the delivery itself. In this case, you need to pay for shipping in advance.
Of course, these are not all signs. There are many more specific behaviors that signal danger. But these are the most common.
Now the second: how not to get hooked?
Always be critical of stories of success and secret work. A man who is really interested in you will always find a way to confirm all his posts and regalia (in addition, if a person is actually an illegal intelligence agent, then he has a legend with a rather ordinary occupation that does not attract attention; say, a system administrator or a gynecologist - approx.) .
Never and under no circumstances will a real fan of yours forget his money, his phone, or lose all his cash before entering a restaurant. Do not agree to pay for it ever and under no circumstances!
Wanting to visit you is not a problem. But first, honey, show me your nest. We are not in a hurry, we will wait and still we will be the first to see your home.
Most importantly, never, under any circumstances, borrow, donate, don’t give free money to unfamiliar men. And he is just a stranger. A couple of months of communication is not a period. And do not forget that he has relatives, friends, partners, etc. Think about why he asks you? No real man will stoop to such a request!
Listen to feedback about your new companion from your family and friends, especially if many are negative. You can see it from the side, and now you are in the clouds and mentally listening to Mendelssohn's march (or Wagnerian Treulich gefuhrt if Mendelssohn does not suit you for racial reasons - approx.
The desire to get married can turn into a crime drama. Increasingly, single women fall for the bait of marriage swindlers. And at best, such a pseudo-cavalier will break an already lonely heart. As a rule, empty wallets, stolen things, and even the loss of your own home are added to the tears.
Until recently, Elena had her own apartment, prosperity and confidence in the future. And now she is forced to huddle with her daughter-in-law, store things on the balcony and pay huge debts. Life changed when Elena met Dmitry. She keeps his photographs as evidence of bitter experience.
The man introduced himself as a retired officer and instantly charmed a lonely woman. She lived with him for two months, choking with happiness, and then Dmitry began to come less and less often and each time asked for money to create his own business. He promised to marry and mountains of gold. Elena believed and gave everything to the penny. Her children tried to explain that this man was a charlatan, but it was all to no avail.
Elena Okhotina: “In this state, you don’t listen to anyone. A person no longer lives with you, a person no longer has any relationship with you. He just comes, takes money. And still you believe him and give him back.”
Elena got into debt, mortgaged the apartment and, if not for the children, ended up on the street. For three years, she voluntarily gave Dmitry about five million rubles. And she would continue to give money until now, if her sons had not put an end to this story, forbidding them to meet with this person.
Sergei Okhotin, Elena's son: "This is a very prudent, cynical, just a real swindler."
Elena Zalevskaya from Kaliningrad did not have to wait 3 years to lose her apartment. Now she comes to the house to look at the windows of her room, where other people have been living for a long time. She was persuaded to sell the apartment profitably by a man whom she met on the Internet. Acquaintance quickly grew into a stormy romance. Infinitely relying on her chosen one, Elena signed a power of attorney so that he could take care of all the concerns of selling real estate. Now, even without the help of a lawyer, she understands what a terrible mistake she made. The betrothed sold the apartment and disappeared.
Elena Zalevskaya: "10 rubles in my pocket, rented housing for a month in advance and no prospects. Do you understand? And plus a shock. It feels like they were deceived, used and thrown away. It was not pleasant."
No more dubious online dating - this is what Natalya, a resident of Kirov, decided for herself. Valentin from Syktyvkar helped her come to this conclusion. The man studied in absentia at one of the Kirov universities. And for the duration of the session, I was looking for girls via the Internet to live in the apartment of my new girlfriend, and not in a student hostel. When Natalya exposed this trick, she drove the gigolo without regret.
Natalya: "Every single day he pulled money out of me. He needs it for this, for this. But then, to be honest, I got tired of it."
During a short relationship, Valentin managed to make duplicate keys to Natalia's apartment. And one day, when she was not at home, he again went to visit.
Valentin Shishigin, suspected of the theft: "I couldn't find some of my controls. Well, I don't know. And I thought that these controls were left in Natalia's apartment. Accordingly, I came for these controls."
Together with the control students, Valentin took home appliances, gold jewelry, everything that was of at least some value. But he was quickly arrested by the police. Now the student is suspected of committing a number of similar thefts.
A resident of Yaroslavl, Masha Novikova, also once became a victim of a marriage swindler and believes that she got off lightly. Cavalier borrowed 12 thousand and disappeared. Each time, recalling the details of this novel, she tries to understand what her mistake is. And can't anyone be trusted?
Maria Novikova: "During the time we spent together, we never quarreled. And there was no reason not to trust this person."
Trust but verify. Marina Avtareeva, the owner of the marriage agency, made this hackneyed truth her slogan. Having herself once faced with deceit, she now helps the girls find the other half, checking all the ins and outs of the candidates for the hand and heart.
Marina Avtareeva, hostess of a marriage agency: "I go to our clients' homes, work as a social worker. I watch what they do, their hobbies, communicate with friends, call work, communicate with colleagues."
No special knowledge is needed to bring a swindler to clean water, Marina is sure. The main thing is that at the very beginning of the relationship, honestly answer yourself the question: what does your charming chosen one really want.
Presenter: So how do you understand what attracts your partner in you: beauty and charm, or is it your apartment and a bank account? And what to do if you have already become a victim of marriage scams. The lawyer Victoria Krasnyuk will tell us about this. How can you figure out that you are a swindler?
Guest: You know, this question is more for the police, but I think that there are simple tricks that should alert any woman. A person begins to burden you with the burden of his worries, complaining that mom is sick, for example, that dad needs an operation, the children are in prison, relatively speaking, so you should immediately go and mortgage your apartment. Now that's a worrying symptom.
Presenter: And if a woman or a man, men also fall for the bait of marriage swindlers, if these people have already registered such a person in their apartment and suddenly realized that all this was not out of love, but because of self-interest. What to do? Is there any way to write it out?
Guest: Yes, the Housing Code allows you to do this, and with an apartment that is owned, it is somewhat easier, because a member of the owner's family who has ceased to be such loses the right to use it. With a municipal apartment, it is somewhat more complicated, although the law allows you to write out former members of the tenant's family. However, there is such a situation that if a former member of the tenant's family continues to live in this apartment, he does not lose the right to use this premises.
Presenter: But how can you prove in court that you were deceived, that this is actually a swindler?
Guest: You know, we have such a concept as a fictitious marriage, a marriage without a purpose, without intentions to create a family. But it is rather difficult to prove, that is, whether there were marriage relations, whether the economy was carried out jointly. Of course they are witnesses. And in this case, the marriage is not dissolved, but declared invalid. And this entails completely different legal consequences.
Presenter: If such a marriage swindler forced a woman to take a loan on herself or got into some kind of debt and also hung debts on her, what should I do? Is it possible to deal with this situation?
Guest: Look, if our aforementioned swindler is still married to this woman, registered, then according to the family code, we consider that the total debts of the spouses are divided between them in half. On the other hand, if our swindler did not marry a woman, and she issued debts for herself, then, in general, she has almost little chance of proving that these are his obligations.
Presenter: If, during a divorce, a marriage swindler begins to demand half of the property allegedly acquired jointly. How can you assert your rights here?
Guest: Look at the situations. I had a client - a young woman. Her grandmother misinterpreted the tax legislation and decided not to bequeath her apartment to her granddaughter, not to donate it, she fictitiously sold it, without taking, of course, a penny of money. And when the granddaughter began to divorce her husband, this husband filed a lawsuit in court for the division of jointly acquired property. And, unfortunately, already after the cancellation of the first decision in her favor, the court nevertheless recognized his ownership right as jointly acquired property.
Presenter: Is it exactly what is bought and not donated that is shared?
Guest: What is bought, what was given to you, what you inherited is shared - it's only yours.
Presenter: Well, what advice would you give to those women who are ready to help their loved ones, but where can one not cross the line and where frauds are already beginning, and where is such a good heart?
Guest: It's just that all women of any age need to act within the framework of common sense. No need to rush to take out loans for unfamiliar men, you don’t need to register your property for them, well, just at least have elementary passport data, get to know, perhaps, relatives, their environment.
Presenter: And, of course, at least have some kind of photo.
Guest: Well, of course, so that there is something to bring to the police.
Today, a large number of single men and women are unsuccessfully trying to find "their soul mate" in the metropolis. Desperate to meet real love, many are looking for a panacea on the Internet. But in the virtual space, a sweet and very dangerous trap awaits them.
My friend named Natalya almost got into it. When she called me with the joyful news that she had finally found her one and only, I was sincerely happy for her.
His name is Chris Keel and he is from New Zealand. Far, of course. But love knows no bounds! – said a friend.
Deception strategy
It turned out that a man in the prime of life saw Natasha's photo on the Internet. He sent a friend request, which the woman confirmed without hesitation. After some time, a letter came from Chris, in which he admitted that he really liked Natalya, and offered to chat on Skype. At first, the lady was surprised at such unexpected attention to her person. Although she looked good, but still, she was far from her first youth. But, the woman decided, what the hell is not joking, what if it was fate, and decided to send her email address and phone number to the persistent foreigner.
That same evening, Chris got in touch. However, outwardly, he seemed to Natasha not at all the stocky, dark-haired man who was captured in the photo he had sent earlier. A tall, grey-haired, imposing man was looking at her from the computer screen. When she told him about this, he was very offended and even accused the woman of probably mixing something up, since apparently she has a lot of acquaintances of men on the Internet.
He told her that his wife was Russian, died a few years ago and now he is completely alone and wants to marry again. And it was Natalya who seemed to him the very one and only, about which he had dreamed all his life.
Chris also admitted that he lives in a large spacious house, is engaged in the gold business
A few years ago he came to Astana and he really liked our sincere and friendly people. And then, as if by the way, he asked about Natalie's financial situation.
The woman also decided to show that she was not a beggar, she lived alone in her own large apartment and made good money.
Then Chris began to literally bombard his beloved with letters, in which he assured that he was a very faithful and decent person and meeting her was a real gift of fate.
Chris's numerous letters began with a caring question about what she ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner (depending on the time of day), and ended with assurances of eternal love in poetic form. Moreover, the messages were interspersed with numerous phrases, such as “The Lord will generously bless you!”, “The Almighty is praying for you!”, From which it could be concluded that the elderly lover is a deeply religious person. Romeo tortured the woman with the question whether she loved him as passionately as he did. Tired of romanticism and religious verbosity, Lena admitted that, in fact, she does not spend days on end in prayer, but leads a secular lifestyle, and she does not yet feel special love for Chris. After such a revelation, the tone of the letters changed dramatically and became more modern and businesslike. The man, without false modesty, said that he was previously the director of a large firm, graduated from Oxford, but is now retired and longs for a change in his personal life.
Mr. Keel said that he wanted to come to Kazakhstan in the near future in order to get to know each other better. The lady's plans were, on the contrary, to see firsthand how a foreigner lives, especially since her distant relative also lives in New Zealand and she has long dreamed of visiting her. She straightforwardly told the applicant for her hand and heart about this. What was Natalia's astonishment when Chris said that his main place of residence is Salt Lake City (USA), and in New Zealand he is ... on vacation. Then the man is going to go to Ganna, no more no less than to meet with ... a former UN secretary, who, as Keel assured, is his friend and partner.
At first, Natalya was slightly shocked by such stunning information, but then she thought, what if, in fact, her new admirer is a bird of such a high flight.
But the last letter from a foreigner completely forced the woman to plunge into a deep trance. Mr. Keel said that he travels a lot and now does not intend to store his gold bars in England, as he does not trust this company. In the same time
he hopes for the help of Natasha, to whom he is going to send ... 90 kg of gold, while promising to pay good interest for storage
At the end of the letter, Chris left an email address to which she must apply in order for the bars to be sent to her.
Police Commentary
Suspecting something was wrong, we turned to the police for clarification.
- Marriage swindlers, unfortunately, are not uncommon today, and they are operating with might and main on the Internet, - says the official representative of the Department of Internal Affairs of Almaty, Police Major Saltanat Azirbek. - Do not believe too much that an Internet acquaintance who has suddenly inflamed with passionate love for you really counts on a relationship. Perhaps he only burns with a desire to use you. Swindlers can act in different roles. Moreover, year by year the methods of their "divorce" are becoming more sophisticated. The first thing a marriage swindler is interested in is what you own, which happened to Natalia. Therefore, she did not need to tell immediately about her property. But as soon as this happened, it is better to try to change the situation by extracting a few negative points. For example, tell the newly-made Romeo that your apartment was bought on credit or that it does not belong to you at all. If a person is really sincere towards you, this will not scare him off, but for a swindler it will become “shock therapy”.
There is no such definition as a “marriage swindler” in Kazakhstani legislation, but he can be held criminally liable under the articles “Fraud”, “Taking possession of another's property” and “Breach of trust”. But the fact is that victims often give away their property voluntarily, and this fact makes it difficult to punish the fraudster.
Regarding this story of Natasha, there can be many scenarios for the development of events with the storage of gold. You need to understand that no one will ever give her anything for free. For example, by clicking on the site specified in the letter, she can “pick up” viruses, with the help of which an attacker downloads her personal data from a computer and can easily use it. Or if she signs an agreement with a company storing gold, no one will send her the bars, of course. And then they will blackmail her, forcing her to pay for the allegedly received gold, which she has not seen in her eyes.
“Citizens who have suffered from marriage Internet swindlers have already applied to the Department of Internal Affairs,” Azirbek added. “But it is rather difficult to investigate such cases, especially if they concern foreigners. After all, they can be written from fictitious Internet addresses or obtained fraudulently. Nevertheless, we are ready to accept Natalia's statement to the police, to which she will attach letters from Chris Keel and investigate this case.
"At first the amount was small, then he asked me to take a loan"
Sometimes we lose our heads in the pursuit of happiness. Countless sites, publics, forums are teeming with stories of women and men caught in a cloud of marital deception. Many post photos, names, passport details, but still, there are no fewer “scammer lovers”.
How to expose the marriage swindler in time and what will happen to him for the crimes committed, MK tried to figure it out.
How do you want to believe that a handsome man who has emerged from the bowels of the Web at your call is exactly who he appears to be: rich, lonely, and, in addition, a citizen of a civilized European country ... And how you don’t want to think about the fact that he may well turn out to be your neighbor with beer belly and chronic emptiness in your pocket! Dreaming about a foreign fairy tale is much more pleasant ...
To begin with, let's figure out what kind of marriage scammers are.
Here, for example, the so-called scammers - these people breed potential brides for money before the meeting "in real life" takes place. True, and the amounts that they manage to pull out are usually not too large.
Scammers can be conditionally divided into "benefactors", "courageous sufferers".
The principle of action of "benefactors" is to shower their pseudo-lover with declarations of love, to convince her of the imminent creation of a happy and strong family. Being under the hypnosis of her "future husband", a woman, as a rule, does not realize that money is being pulled from her in the simplest ways. For example, a new acquaintance wanted to give you an expensive gift. I sent it by courier, but for some reason I could not pay for shipping or duty. But he assured that he put a couple of hundred euros in a box with a present, which fully covers the costs. In a fit of interest, a curious girl lays out a tidy sum to receive a gift, and there ... shish with butter! No money, no gift... This is what happened to the Muscovite Irina:
We met on a dating site. He was from Russia, but lived in Australia for a long time. Confessed almost in love, admired me all the time. A few days later, he decided to send me a gift, asked for my address, said that I would soon receive something interesting ... And then I received a notification on my personal website that I would have to pay 150 euros for courier delivery upon receipt. The letter contained some code and a number to which I should send money. I paid for the services, as I thought, of the delivery service - everything looked quite official, so there were no thoughts that it was just someone's electronic wallet. Needless to say, the gift never reached me, and along with it disappeared beyond the horizon of the Network and its loving sender ...
Men of the “courageous sufferers” category always have some kind of tear-jerking story - like how he lost his wife and was left alone with three children in his arms. After a long correspondence, during which the "bride" will be imbued with the whole depth of the nobility of the "groom", he reports that an unforeseen collapse has occurred, and money is urgently needed - for a child or something else.
Evgenia almost fell for the bait of her foreign boyfriend:
I met an American on the site - he looks like a decent man, with a pleasant smile and a sad story. After losing his wife, he was left with two young daughters who were cared for by their grandmother. He himself was the sole breadwinner of the family, served in the Navy and was constantly at sea. He wrote that he thinks a lot about me, dreams of meeting, believes in our love. And once he wrote that he was off the coast of some African country, that he had a large amount of money with him, that he was afraid of pirates and asked me to keep this money in Russia until he arrived. What, they say, will send them to me by diplomatic mail. But then it turned out: upon receipt, I need to pay cargo insurance in the amount of $ 2,000. He sent me an invoice, I was contacted by the company that allegedly sent the package. I started looking for this company on the Internet - and did not find it. Then I found a lot of stories about similar cases on the Web. I refused to receive this money, he begged for a few more days, just begged. And then he disappeared...
The most common (and most dangerous!) marriage swindlers can be considered the so-called polygamists. They come into close contact with their victims and find a special approach to each. It was to this type of scammers that our heroines pleased.
We met on a dating site in 2013. Everything happened quickly enough. At the first meeting, he was already ready to get a star from the sky for me. He said that I was the one he had been looking for all his life, - Tatyana recalls her failed husband Milovan Martinovich. - He is a Serb by nationality, but he speaks Russian very well, with almost no accent. Speaking about himself, he emphasized the scope of his activities. The owner of a construction company in Podolsk, and even swears in love - a dream, not a man! But then he suddenly disappeared ... He did not answer calls, I could not contact him in any way. I was very worried.
Serbian swindler Milovan.
Looking ahead, I will explain that psychologists explain this behavior as follows: the victim is already on the hook, let him be nervous for now, he will appreciate it more and then he will definitely not go anywhere. After some time, the unfortunate groom showed up again and then got down to business with more seriousness.
After some time, Milovan appeared on the horizon again. Again he swore in love, said that he regretted that he had done so, but all this time he thought only of me and no longer imagines his life without me. It was then that he announced that we need to formalize our relationship. Simultaneously with this “happiness”, he gradually began to pull money out of me: either the car broke down, or temporary difficulties at the company ... In general, at first the amount was small, but as a result, these small investments came out tidy. But it didn't end there either...
It is customary for any future newlyweds to acquaint their other half with relatives and friends. The difficulty was that the hero of Tanya's novel was from Serbia. So, you need to go abroad - and, of course, for the money of a naive woman.
He really wanted to introduce me to his sister. But, since there were problems at the company, he asked me for a loan, said that soon everything would work out and he would return everything a hundredfold. I agreed: after all, we are not strangers! He introduced me to his sister Angela. I was immediately alerted by their close relationship - it was not like the relationship of brother and sister. But anything can happen in life, maybe this is really his only close person besides me. He had not talked with his parents for a long time - he said that they had a fight many years ago. But my sister was enough for me. She followed me everywhere like a best friend, and sang praises in every possible way: finally, my brother found that one, he used to be so unlucky in amorous affairs, his ex cheated on him right and left, and here you are, so beautiful, beautiful ...
Angela is Milovan's "sister".
Apparently, the “brother and sister” have been working together for more than a year. They had a coordinated plan. Angela always took Tatyana's side, defended her in every possible way. Probably, in this way she tried to inspire confidence. And when Milovan asked to take a loan for business development, Tatyana found herself under double pressure. As a result, she agreed and took out a loan, which she soon regretted ... Naturally, there were no receipts, everything was built on Milovan's word of honor. Well, how not to believe the beloved man who is ready for anything for you!? According to him, the income from the business, in which a lot of money was invested, should have exceeded the investment several times over. The scheme really seemed very plausible and successful.
But after he received the money, he began to slowly “merge”. He fed me with promises that I would not pay a penny to the bank, and he would return everything, also with impressive interest, Tatyana admits.
Milovan began to disappear for several days - then reappeared as if nothing had happened. But Tanya continued to believe in a happy future, until the "groom" finally disappeared. That's when everything fell into place. Tatyana had only one thing to do: look for him on forums and websites. Much to my surprise, it was not difficult to find painfully familiar faces. She found photographs of Milovan and his sister Angela under tearful stories from women just like her. I decided to write my own story and publish it in a popular group on a social network. And then Milovan's second "wife" appeared ...
At one point, Margarita wrote to me and told her story with “our common man,” Tanya recalls.
He also met Rita Milovan on a dating site. Margarita had a teenage son from her first marriage, through whom the swindler began to act.
My son really fell in love with this man, - says Rita, - and Milovan seemed to treat him like his own. After they decided to get married, I became pregnant - he really wanted this. But we could not get married, because he had a fictitious marriage in Switzerland. Divorce took a long time. At the same time, we rented an apartment, lived and rested exclusively on my finances ...
Margarita admits that she did not know how her fiancé achieves his location with the child. It turned out that he bought him cigarettes, pawned expensive things in a pawnshop, and they went to have fun with the words: “Don’t tell Mom!”
When I got pregnant, his "sister" courted me as best she could. But from a financial point of view, there was no help from both. And when I had already given birth, they insisted that I quickly make a passport for the child. Angela was especially pushy. Every day I wondered if he was ready ... The main mistake I made was investing in “our future home” in Serbia. We were really going to move there, even the senior school was looked after. But then they explained to me that there was a flood, and all the building materials that Milovan allegedly bought with my money were washed away. Such is the misfortune. Then he needed a car to go on a business trip. Asked for mine as his was broken. I wrote a power of attorney for him - as a result, he disappeared along with the car. With a small child in my arms, I could not get through to him for several days. I turned to the police - and then it turned out that my car was already registered with another owner! Then I began to look for him on the Internet - I simply entered the name in a search engine. In social networks, I found a story told by Tanya ... When he did show up, he ended up in the police. There he confessed that he did not have any business and that Angela was his wife ... I believe that they needed a child, and I was assigned the role of an incubator.
Women actively engaged in the search for victims - and, as it turned out, there are many of them. The scheme was the same everywhere: it seems that Milovan did not even try to diversify the script.
In fairness, this couple should have ended up behind bars - but no. Milovan was released from the police station. Actually, why plant? Because you yourself gave him your money? ..
There is no such definition in the legislation of the Russian Federation: “marriage swindlers”. Why - explained to us lawyer Margarita Mayer:
There is no law protecting against marriage swindlers, but there are rules that relate to fraud, article 159 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to qualify the crime of an act: sometimes the victims themselves are embarrassed to admit that someone behaved dishonestly with them, that they fell for the speech of a fraudster. Most often, victims consciously transfer their property, go to a notary and draw up a deed of gift, or they can simply transfer something - for example, lend an amount of money without a receipt, without having any evidence later.
Women do not turn to psychologists for help for the same reason - they are embarrassed. Psychologist Ksenia Sborshchikova assures:
They are extremely rare. And they don’t always share with friends, because it’s a shame to admit that they were at the epicenter of a swindle. But if we turned to specialists for help, we could solve many problems in the future. Since the “loop of sacrifice” swindlers feel very well - they choose for themselves those who can be deceived, who will allow them to do this ...
But the most amazing thing is that even after exposure, many victims continue to hope for a brighter future with "their beloved." To a greater extent, they regret not that they were “warmed up” for money, but that now it is gone!
“You see, the feeling is as if you have been waiting all your life to build the very only house in which you will live happily. Here it is ready, and you are already living in it ... And suddenly it turns out that this is not at home, that it was all smoke, a myth! And you don’t feel sorry for the money invested, because you were happy in it every minute ... ”- one of the victims of the fraudster admitted.
The reason for this behavior is explained by psychologist Ksenia Sborshchikova:
There are times when it is difficult for victims to condemn the person who has done wrong to them. They would rather look for the cause in themselves than in someone else. They are tormented by questions: what did I do wrong? Why did he do this to me? Maybe I offended him?
Such women, even after exposure, want to stay with the swindler, assure him that they have forgiven him, that they will not demand their money back, some even promise to continue to support him financially ... They find for themselves any excuse for the behavior of the gigolo - just to hear such alluring and sweet words again love.
How to protect yourself from mercantile "suitors"?
Recognizing a marriage swindler is very difficult, says the psychologist. I would even say almost impossible. The main task of a swindler is to choose the right victim. They immediately see who will fall for their bait and who will not. They are suitable for women who are insecure, obviously weak and easily vulnerable. For such women, it is already a gift that they have a man, they need recognition and love so much ...
Vorobyov, in a frozen pose, looked at the family photo and could not believe what was happening. No, it can't be, it's some kind of terrible dream. What is happening is some kind of obsession. After all, it was all the best: beloved native wife, happiness from the appearance of such a desired baby.
After the divorce, he could not recover for a long time, it was a burden for him to return to an empty cold apartment. Neither relatives nor friends made him happy. It seemed that his whole life collapsed like a house of cards. He often contemplated suicide, waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares.
When he came to his senses after a divorce, he studied the art of a pickup truck, began to get acquainted on the Internet and change his new acquaintances like gloves. In order not to waste money, he invited a new girl for a walk in his new beautiful area. “We have everything here,” Vorobyov proudly told another girl, “If you want, ride a bike, if you want, ski. We have all the conditions.
Another girl listened to Vorobyov, blinking her eyes, wondering to herself how well she could get a job in this area in a new house, and such a kind gallant husband would support her. Such walks were especially impressive for visiting regional girls living in a rented apartment or huddled with relatives in cramped quarters in an old apartment. Such girls were ready to do anything already on the first evening, just to stake out a bread place, write out a ticket to a new beautiful life, and even if a puncture happens, have fun and leave Vorobyov as an alternate airfield, you never know what.
Having slept with another girl, Vorobyov drove her to the right place, escorted her to the bus stop, or he could simply ask to get ready and escorted her to the door. Further along his well-established system, he kissed, said "let's call" and went to work, where he boasted of another victory.
The fact that he did not really satisfy any girl, he did not even guess. He thought he was a cool macho. The girls either did not speak so as not to offend him, or merged, realizing that happiness with such Vorobyov is a rather risky and failed project, it is worth looking for a more worthy life partner. If the next "bride" began to impose itself and even download rights, Vorobyov did not have to insult her by phone and send her away, after which the girl merged herself. But there were those who could not believe what was happening, and then such another bride could not stand it and began to throw tantrums and write rude SMS, because she had her own clear plans for him. .
And there were also girls who could not understand why he treated him so and suffered, simply not knowing the whole story with his ex-wife and not realizing that Vorobyov was taking revenge on them for how his ex-wife Irina treated him.
Irina was a very pretty girl who was looked at by guys. She came to enter the big city from a small village with a ridiculously ridiculous name. The big city stunned the provincial young lady, and she realized that life can be completely different and the world is not her gloomy gray village with eternally drunk men.
Having trimmed herself in the regional city, she realized that there are a dime a dozen such pretty and pretty girls here, and many, unlike her, also have wealthy parents, and for such she is just a "village". And she did not want to return to her backwoods without prospects at all.
Then she figured that the only chance to escape from her native village is a university - to get married successfully. But having met several guys, she realized that not everyone would look after her, fulfill her desires, and even more so, take her to the registry office. It was here that she met Alexei - a kind, handsome guy, brought up in matriarchy by an imperious mother, ready at any moment to fulfill her every whim.
She only laughed to herself, seeing how Aleksey was shy, clumsily trying to look after her, looking at her with loving puppy eyes and ready to take her to the registry office even now. Well, Irina thought, so be it, I will marry him, but I will always have time to get a divorce and marry again. In order to finally subdue the naive Alexei, Irina used the woman's trick, as old as the world, to say that she was pregnant, and then stage a miscarriage. With someone like Alexei, this method went “with a bang” and it was possible to use this method further so that Vorobyov continued to pamper, carry and idolize his “poor” girl.
Everything went according to plan. A gorgeous bride in a beautiful dress, a wedding, a new life for newlyweds who have their whole life ahead of them. She realized that Alexei’s relatives didn’t like it, but she didn’t give a damn about her domineering mother-in-law, and even more so about her father-in-law, who was beaten up by her wife. Now she is Alexei's mistress. Now he is in her hands a rag that will always obey her, support her, fulfilling all her needs and desires. Vorobyov turned out to be a wonderful husband. One thing is bad, in bed is not very good. But this is not a problem, there will be enough men for her age. With her pretty face, finding a lover is not a problem, and the neighbor has his eyes on her.
When Vorobyov earned an apartment, she, already being the mistress of her city apartment, praised herself for not missing her chance, getting out of her native outback. It remains to give birth, and she will get rid of Vorobyov at the first opportunity. Vorobyov was sick and tired of her, but the situation without a child was precarious. In the event of a divorce, she will also lose her own apartment and maintenance. She performed her marital duty with Vorobyov out of habit and because she had to, there was nowhere to go, and for satisfaction she visited a pretty neighbor. Naive Alexei did not even guess what was going on in his wife's head. He idolized her and even in difficult times, when money ran out and his wife made scandals, he fulfilled all her desires. Irina did not want to deny herself new clothes, salons and other women's joys, just as she did not want to work herself. The wife increasingly reproached Vorobyov, but he endured and tried to solve all the problems. Irina's pregnancy was not easy, but even here Alexei did everything possible to ensure that Irina received the vitamins she and the child needed. He paid for a separate room in the maternity hospital, with a face drunk with happiness, fussed about her and the baby.
From the outside, their family life seemed perfect. But the more Vorobyov caved in to his wife, the more he became disgusting to her. She could no longer pretend that she loved him, especially since motherhood for her, a spoiled girl, turned out to be more of a burden than a joy. She did not even suspect how difficult it would be, and the idea arose in her pretty head to get rid of Vorobyov at the first opportunity, but wringing him out properly. Both the apartment and the business should remain with her, period. It is possible to achieve a goal with such a naive sucker as Alexei, by manipulating a child. It remains to wait for the right moment and do everything the way only she needs.
Irina did not think that the girl would grow up without a father. She grew up without a father and nothing. She thought only of herself, of her new prosperous city life, already free from her unloved husband. Living in her city apartment, receiving business income and alimony from her ex-husband, having a lover not one, but another, and she will always have time to marry again with such an appearance.
Vorobyov remembered the divorce in a blur. He was ready to leave his daughter everything he had. The thought that he would live separately from his family, and even more so with his beloved daughter, constantly tormented his soul. During the divorce, Aleksey lost his family, property, business and, along with the loss of the meaning of life, acquired the obligation to pay alimony tribute, the expenditure of which he had no right to control.
After the divorce, Alexei broke free from the chain, began to change women one after another. Then a crazy idea came to him. Vorobyov did not see anything bad if one of the women presented him with his child. He already imagined how he would visit and help a woman with his child, in return receiving joy and gratitude. He did not even imagine what a shame and deceit it would turn out to be. After a difficult divorce, his ex-wife forbade him to see his daughter. At that moment, he didn’t want to live at all and sex with unloved strange women without protection, and as it seemed to him, the future desired child on the side became something like an antidepressant for him.
Two women with an interval of several months told Vorobyov that they were pregnant from him. Since that time, life has flowed very quickly. Alexey was torn between work and new mothers, ran around the shops to buy vitamins, food, and then diapers, sliders, baby food, jumping-walkers, toys. There was no time for depression. When the kids grew up, he tried to discern his familiar features in them and was very surprised that not one kid was not like him. A hunch came to him. He didn't sleep for several nights. When he resolutely notified the women that he wanted to do a DNA test, he met with a negative reaction with refusal, reproaches and tantrums. His guesses were confirmed. It was another terrible blow.
Thinking about female meanness and insidiousness, Vorobyov drove along the highway to his relatives. All of a sudden, a truck swerved into the oncoming lane. To avoid a collision, Vorobyov began to slow down and try to pull over to the side of the road. A sharp departure from the impact to the right, to the side of the road did not work, because the speed was too high. The car went into a ditch. My whole life flashed before my eyes in an instant. Alexei saw episodes of recent years like in a movie: a painful divorce, longing for his wife and daughter, an endless series of easily accessible strange women. Especially clearly he saw the face of the painted red-haired Tatyana and the cunning hamster face of Svetlana, who "rejoiced" him that "he would become a dad."
How long Vorobyov was unconscious, he could not determine. Alexei felt an unbearable dull pain in his head, there was a mist in his eyes. He tried to move his arms and legs, but his body would not obey. For a moment, he was very scared. After the divorce, he was severely depressed and contemplated suicide. But right now, more than ever in his life, he desperately wanted to live. At this terrible moment, he saw a blurry bright red spot on the car mat below him. "Blood" - thought Vorobyov.
It was impossible to scare Alexei with blood, since childhood he had been boxing and the sight of blood reminded him of the ring and the intoxicating feeling of victory. Instinctively, he reached out to the red spot. The hand obeyed, but instead of a puddle, the finger stuck into a hard red object. "Strange," thought Vorobyov. "What is this?" Bringing the object to his eyes, he saw a red button. "Where?" - thought Vorobyov and groaned from a guess. His green eyes came to mind clearly. When the women presented him with children, he decided that this was his new real life and trampled into the dirt all that good and kind that he had with his beloved girl in a red coat, with relatives and friends. A stingy tear rolled down Vorobyov's unshaven cheek and fell on the rug in the place where the button had previously been. Vorobyov heard the sound of a siren, which was getting louder. "Ambulance," thought Vorobyov, and lost consciousness.
Vorobyov woke up in a hospital room. The first thing he saw was the serious, kind eyes of an elderly doctor: “Yes, you were born in a shirt, young man, you got off lightly.”
In the hospital, a young pretty nurse, Lenochka, took care of Alexei. At first, Vorobyov was shy and felt awkward. Then he talked to her and became friends. Every morning he looked forward to the appearance of a smiling Lenochka, like a ray of sunshine in a dark room. So he got a new meaning of life. After some time, he got used to and fell in love with Lenochka so much that he did not know how he would continue to live without this angel.
After being discharged, Alexei found out when her shift would end, arrived in a car with flowers, and was very nervous waiting for her. When he saw her coming out, he came up with trembling hands, handed her flowers, offered to give her a ride home. He looked hopefully into her kind blue eyes and realized that a new happy life had begun for him.
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