In the Tretyakov Gallery, people are always standing in front of Vasily Pukirev's painting "Unequal Marriage". He wrote it immediately after graduating from art school in 1862 and received a prize and the title of professor.
The picture, indeed, was painted according to all the rules (the lace is perfectly written out, the reflection of the candle on the dress), but it was highly appreciated not only for this, but also for the relevance of the topic. Then they began to pay attention to the powerless position of women - remember the plays of A.N. Ostrovsky. And in February 1861, the Holy Synod issued a decree condemning marriages with a large age difference.
Some say that the plot was suggested to the artist by his friend, a young merchant, and he is depicted as a best man (this is such an indignant young man behind the couple, with his arms crossed on his chest). His fiancee was 24 years old, but she was married off to a man 13 years older than her. Since the merchant was his relative, he had to be the best man at the wedding.
According to another version, this is the story of the artist himself. His girlfriend was given in marriage to an elderly and rich man, and in the form of a best man - he himself. I'm leaning towards the latest version - there's a lot of true feeling in the picture. Moreover, in 2002 they found a portrait of Pukirev's failed bride.
Perhaps this is the same bride 44 years after the picture was painted. 
She lived in an almshouse, so marriage to a rich old man did not bring her money.
But when we look at this picture, we don't think about prototypes. We feel sorry for this girl trembling from the coming horror and sickening to look at the nasty old man.
In Soviet times, this was already considered impossible.
However, the picture still remained popular. She is often parodied. And why not laugh, if the topic, it would seem, has gone into the distant past? 
Why did I remember "Unequal Marriage"? But because the last 2 weeks they have been talking and writing a lot about a case in Chechnya, where 16-year-old Luiza Goylabieva was betrothed by the head of the Nozhai-Yurt District Department of Internal Affairs Guchigov, who, according to one version, is 57 years old, and according to another - 46.
The noise was raised by Novaya Gazeta, which received information from one of the bride’s relatives: supposedly the whole family is against this marriage, the girl is horrified, and the groom threatens them, and they are afraid of him. The matter is aggravated by the fact that the groom is married, has adult sons and daughters. The wedding should take place on May 2, as the bride will turn 17 on May 1.
The Novaya journalist went to the village. Guchilov categorically denied that he planned to marry an underage girl. “I already have a wife, I love her, I don’t know any Kheda and I don’t plan any wedding on May 2.” At the same time, the Chechen policeman refers to the ban of the head of the republic, Ramzan Kadyrov, to enter into such marriages: "I know about Ramzan Kadyrov's ban. How can I violate it? What second wife are you talking about? Right here with me is my first and only wife, whom I love very much with whom he has lived all his life! The journalist recorded all this on a dictaphone.
After the article appeared in Novaya Gazeta, the situation became interesting at the highest level.
State Duma deputy Shamsail Saraliyev pointed out that the author of the material does not possess true information. In particular, the article indicates the wrong age of Nazhud Guchigov, who is not 57, but 46 years old. The deputy also recalled that, according to Russian laws, local governments allow marriages from the age of 16, while in Chechnya they usually adhere to the age limit of 17.
The head of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov, made a statement on TV - he, they say, personally made sure that the girl's grandfather and father were not against the wedding.
The Life News TV channel also visited Chechnya and filmed an interview with the people involved in this story. From it you can learn that Najud Guchigov, together with colleagues from the police department, guarded the school where Luiza Goylabieva took her final exams. Last year, Louise graduated from high school, received a certificate without triples. In the future, he wants to become a doctor. She is sure that the family is not a hindrance to this. Most of her classmates have already made their main choice in life.
Having met, Louise and Najud began to communicate by phone, and a year later the groom got married and set a date for the wedding. According to the established rules, in Chechnya it is impossible to marry a schoolgirl or a girl under the age of 17, so the date was set on the day after Louise's birthday - May 1. 
On Twitter, Kadyrov later wrote that, they say, many famous people enter into unequal marriages (Viktor Erofeev, Dmitry Dibrov, Andrei Konchalovsky, Alla Pugacheva, etc.), and no one is surprised.
It is truth too. But the brides of Erofeev, Dibrov, Konchalovsky were still not yesterday's schoolgirls. After all, girls are different: some by the age of 20 have already worked up so much that they want to settle down. And why not fall in love, say, at the age of 21, rich and famous, if there is a prospect that he will provide you financially or help you make a career? Today there are many young, but early.
I also know cases when, at the age of 17, they sincerely fall in love with 30-year-old men who have not shown themselves in any way in the public arena, but this is another matter. Still, the difference is not 30 years, and even more so, not 40 years. I think these girls really lacked communication with their father in childhood.
Nothing is said about the fact that the girl will become a second wife. We do not know: perhaps the policeman lives with his first wife in a civil marriage, and his passport is clean; perhaps in connection with the scandal, he hastily divorced.
For Muslims, a marriage is considered to be a marriage concluded according to Sharia, and not one that is registered in the registry office. But every now and then proposals are heard from the North Caucasus to officially introduce polygamy (Ruslan Aushev, Ramzan Kadyrov, in Adygea - Deputy General Dorofeev). Since 2000, the same idea has been voiced by Zhirinovsky.
In connection with the Chechen history, the “guardians” found themselves in an interesting position. Their logic is this: since Kadyrov allowed this marriage, then the marriage must be approved, because without Kadyrov, unrest will begin again in Chechnya and will have to fight there again, and this is unprofitable for Russia.
Moreover, today among the "guardians" there are many people with leftist and pro-Soviet ideology, which seems strange to me.
For example, blogger Grand writes: “The desire to become a second (third, fourth) wife for a Muslim woman is a natural need. They love their men, consider them caring fathers and heads of families, raise all children, regardless of who bore them, sometimes they are a little jealous of each other, but almost always maintain good, warm relations with each other.
I know about it because I was interested in the question. For me, as for a truly free person, it is precisely such benevolent curiosity that is normal, without an attempt to condemn other people's traditions, way of life or worldview. And I have always been interested in the opinion of not Muslim men, but women. I searched and found answers to my questions.
And I realized that our North Caucasian republics live according to Russian laws, but with an Islamic accent. Only the first wife receives a stamp in the passport, the rest are satisfied with a civil marriage, and this suits them perfectly. At one time, I took note of this, pleasantly surprised at how easily people with such a different way of life coexist in my country.
The same point of view is shared by Maxim Shevchenko, although he seems to be criticizing the regime. But he stands for the freedom of national self-expression of the peoples of the Caucasus. In his opinion, Caucasian girls are not like Moscow girls: when they get married, they first of all think about the well-being of their family - about their parents, brothers, sisters.
Oh, what grace and spilled raspberries! Just some kind of genetic anomaly: give them 57-year-old men at the age of 16, and that's it! They don’t think about love, but only about the happiness of brothers and sisters.
There are no such girls and never have been. So I started the post with the painting "Unequal Marriage" - for whom was it written?
Are today's Muslim women happy with their fate?
In 2010, in the Afghan province of Herat, 78 cases of self-immolation of women were recorded, of which 38 led to the death of suicides. Not all women die, some survive.
During Perestroika, self-immolation of women in Turkmenistan and Tajikistan became very frequent. In 1988, more than 110 self-immolations were recorded in Tajikistan. The average age of those who burned themselves was young, and the fire made its way into the school environment.
What, in your opinion, are the reasons for self-immolations?" - such a question was asked to 220 residents of the Jilikul region of Tajikistan (age - from 16 to 35 years). 27 percent of the respondents answered: marriage against their will; 23 - a ban on continuing their studies; 21 - do not allow to marry a loved one; 19 - conflicts between parents and son because of a daughter-in-law; 15 - offensive rumors; 14 - a ban on work; 9.5 percent - conflicts between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law and father-in-law.
Among other reasons were called: loss of maiden honor; dismissive attitude of teachers (1.8 percent). 8.6 percent consider self-immolations solely the result of the weakness and frivolity of those who took this extreme step.
For example, in 1989, in the Kizyl-Arvat district of Krasnovodsk, a woman set herself on fire because her husband beat her every Sunday, always at the same hour. Beat for no reason, just like that, for "science" to know its place. For six years of married life, she got used to this, it never occurred to her to complain somewhere. By her humility, she, as it were, recognized the rightness of her husband. But, apparently, the limit of patience has come. She brought a statement to the police that in the event of her death, her son would not be left with his father, but no one asked her what was the matter.
1989 is when the central government gave up on the problems of the republics. Let, they say, live by their own laws, as they want. They healed - they quickly forgot how they cried with us over the "First Teacher", and brought several wives.
And now everything is the same. Last time, such an attitude did not help the preservation of the USSR, will it help today?
P.S. There is a video from the wedding. In my opinion, the bride was drugged with some kind of sedative. Perhaps this is due to the significance of the wedding in the eyes of the public. But she looks kinda weird.
14/05/2015
The story around the wedding of a 17-year-old Chechen schoolgirl and an elderly local police chief continues. Despite the statement of the bride herself that her consent had become voluntary, the special correspondent of Novaya Gazeta decided to personally visit the girl's ancestral village. Chechen law enforcement officers advised the journalist to monitor her own safety.
AND journalist Yelena Milashina of Novaya Gazeta has been involved in the case from the very beginning. It was she who started the hype around the matchmaking of the head of the Chechen police department for an underage schoolgirl. Moreover, Nazhid Guchigov already has one wife. Formally, polygamy is prohibited in Chechnya. Subsequently, after the intervention of Ramzan Kadyrov, the girl said on LifeNews that her family agreed to this age misalliance. But, according to Milashina, 17-year-old Heda (Louise) Goylabieva was threatened, and most likely, in order to save her family, she agreed to this marriage. For more information, Milashina went to Chechnya herself.
At the checkpoint at the entrance to the Nozhai-Yurt district of Chechnya, where Goylabieva's native village is located, she was stopped by "Russian policemen". The guards warned Milashina that Chechen law enforcement officers pay great attention to her person.
It was the guards, as follows from the newspaper report, who warned Milashina of the possible danger. The journalist, in turn, does not leave attempts to get to the village of Baitarki, since she learned that today Goylabiyeva can be found at home and talk with her about her wedding with the head of the Nozhai-Yurt district police department, which, according to the latest data, did not take place.
The journalist nevertheless visited Kheda's native Baitarks and talked with her relatives. The girl herself, by coincidence, was not at home. On the way back from the village, the journalist noticed that several cars were following her car.
“Message from Elena Milashina, who is now on her way to the village of Baitarki in the Nozhai-Yurt district of the Chechen Republic, where Kheda Goylabieva lives. The Russian police officers who stopped two cars of The Joint Mobile Group in Chechnya, in which, in addition to Lena and the guys from the JMC accompanying her, there was a journalist from the Nizhny Novgorod MK Konstantin Gusev, told her that Chechen law enforcement officers were very interested in her personality. We were advised to pay close attention to personal safety. Yesterday, when Lena and the escort from the SMG were leaving Baitarok, their car was driven almost to Khasavyurt,” says Olga Bobrova, a colleague of the journalist.
Elena Milashina arrived in the Chechen Republic a few days ago on the instructions of the editors to prepare a material about the upcoming wedding of the head of the Nozhai-Yurt District Department of Internal Affairs and Kheda Goylabieva. The Chechen wedding became the main regional media event in the first half of May, and it was Elena Milashina who was the first to tell about it, to whom young Goylabieva's fellow villagers turned for help. After this story, the residents of Chechnya spoke about the pressure on the families of girls when entering into marriages.
In turn, the television company "Grozny" claims that the bride's dress is the most long-awaited in the life of Louise Goylabieva, and she chose it for a very long time, as well as gifts for the relatives of her future spouse.
Chechen journalists claim that neither the bride herself nor her mother, Makka, opposed the marriage. In a conversation with them, the girl said that she had never spoken to any of the journalists on the phone. And the fact that she communicated with the film crew with great difficulty is explained in the plot by the national mentality and custom.
"The absurdity of the accusations of violating the rights of the girl, some human rights activists and the media is obvious. If both the former and the latter were so worried about the region and its inhabitants, they would probably know that it is here and precisely on behalf of Ramzan Kadyrov that work is being actively carried out to strengthen the institution of the family On behalf of the head of Chechnya, early marriages are prohibited, in addition, his decision to ban the ancient custom of kidnapping brides received public support," the TV channel notes.
"Grozny" assures that the hype did not affect the girl's decision to marry an adult fiancé, and suggests that the actions of federal media journalists were dictated by the fulfillment of an order or the habit of "making ratings" on the Chechen topic.
“I'm just reminding. The next time Mizulina wants to say at least a word about the sexual education of schoolchildren and the molestation of minors, or Astakhov suddenly decides that he has the right to broadcast on behalf of children and adolescents, or Golodets, together with Yarovaya, will suddenly remember family values and patriotic education, or Zhirinovsky will blurt out another populist about the reduction of sex or Milonov will again worry about the seduction of young boys by old men ...
Just, dear fellow citizens, remember that none of these deputies, supposedly caring about family values and supposedly zealously defending the rights of children and minors throughout our country. None of them stood up for a 17-year-old underage girl from Chechnya, Luiza Goylabieva, whom Nazhud Guchigov, 46, the head of the police department of the Nozhai-Yurt District Department of Internal Affairs, forcibly wants to marry (and the second wife).
This story makes my hair stand on end.
How is this even possible in Russia? Or Chechnya still does not live according to the Constitution of the Russian Federation, which states that polygamy is illegal and that only adults can marry.
Maybe Chechnya lives according to Sharia law, when brides can be kidnapped, forcibly forced to marry oneself, where women do not even have the right to vote and their future is decided for them either by the father, or, as in this situation, the head of the police department.
How can this be discussed from the position: "well, they have their own rules."
And what does it mean that a Chechen or an Indian, or another representative can come to Moscow, for example, marry a blonde, a brunette and a redhead for a change, and then they will also get nothing for it. Because they have such orders? Hurley.
I'm not ready to let this happen.
If they want to live according to Sharia law, let them live, but there is no need to beat your chest and shout at every corner to Ramzan Kadyrov that Chechnya lives according to the laws of Russia.
Shame on our deputies that they did not even utter a word in defense of the girl. You look at her. Yes, she is scared to death, answering questions only after her mother whispers to her.
Just know, citizens. You have been wildly deceived.
No one will protect you, no one will help you if a Chechen policeman likes you, because our deputies are mummers. And who they really are - clowns or agents working for our enemies (you just can’t think otherwise) - you already know that! A shame! A shame! A shame!"
“In Meduza, there is a very intelligible report on the situation of wives and brides in sovereign Chechnya.
Three quotes from there:
The famous Chechen singer Kheda Khamzatova was listed as missing for some time - shortly after, according to human rights activists, she refused to marry a high-ranking Chechen. Subsequently, she planned to marry an Armenian, but the wedding did not take place due to the intervention of Ramzan Kadyrov. At a government meeting, he said: “We followed her to Armenia, saying that it was a shame for a Chechen woman, plus an honored artist of the republic, to marry such a rabble! I gave instructions to many to follow her. Took permission from her parents and took her out of there.”
Young girls in Chechnya are quite defenseless if they do not have security forces in their families. Attractive girls who belong to families with no special status are the objects of special attention. The real interests of the girl and the presence of a young man are not a serious factor ... In cases where the matchmaking for the elderly takes place on the part of people in power, the refusal, of course, induces significant fears among the bride's relatives. It is known that the security forces in the territory of Chechnya have absolute influence and can steal, burn down a house, and so on.
18-year-old student Amina Edieva was abducted in the afternoon on Grozny street. Four men forced her into a car; Edieva screamed and tried to resist. One of the attackers turned out to be her future husband. Eight months later, she returned to her parents' house.
Sharia law and personal orders of Ramzan Kadyrov have priority in Chechnya over the federal laws of the Russian Federation. The Family Code of the Russian Federation contains article 14, according to which the presence of a wife in a man is considered an obstacle to him entering into another marriage, and article 27, which says that a marriage entered into by a married man is invalid. Neither one nor the other norm of the federal legislation is observed in the Chechen Republic. That is, there you can get yourself a second, third, and fourth wife - just this marriage will not be registered in the registry office, and this wife will not receive any legal rights, and if the husband wishes to kick her out of the house, then he will leave the children to himself, and may forbid them to communicate with their mother at all.
It's like Russia. Like Europe. Like 2015. Spirituality, braces, that's all. But I somehow doubt that this Medusa material will attract the attention of sofa warriors against the sexist threat. Because it's one thing to expose Igor Belkin, Matt Taylor, Galya Timchenko and Nadya Tolokonnikova, and quite another to publicly raise the issue of women's rights in Chechnya. ».
Bride and groom
Last week, Novaya Gazeta spoke about 17-year-old Kheda Goylabieva, whom Nazhud Guchigov, 57, head of the Nozhai-Yurt District Department of Internal Affairs of Chechnya, wanted to marry, bypassing Ramzan Kadyrov's ban on marriages with minors.
Najid Guchigov himself, during our conversation, categorically denied that he was planning to marry an underage girl. “I already have a wife, I love her, I don’t know any Kheda and I don’t plan any wedding on May 2,” he told me by phone on record.
It was not by chance that the wedding was scheduled for May 2: on May 1, Heda turned 17 years old. That is, Nazhud Guchigov began to marry a 16-year-old girl. Which is not good at all, both from the point of view of Russian legislation and the essence of Ramzan Kadyrov's prohibitions.
An important explanation for the inhabitants of the rest of Russia. Kheda Goylabiev is being matched as a second wife. This Islamic custom has become widespread in Chechnya, although it is impossible to formalize this marriage officially (there is no longer criminal liability for polygamy, but such marriages are considered invalid, as they contradict the Constitution of Russia and the current legislation: the Family Code of the Russian Federation and the Federal Law "On acts of civil status" ). And from the point of view of Sharia, none of these marriages is considered valid.
Help "New"
What is called "polygamy" in Chechnya, in fact, is not such according to Sharia. Randomly married men are not able to observe Sharia law, which prescribes equal treatment of all their wives. With a large number of polygamists in Chechnya, I have never seen a man who would not be shy to appear in the world with all his wives at once. Usually the first (old) wives live in a legal position, and new (young, as a rule) - in an illegal one.
And of course, Islam clearly prohibits forced marriages.
Help "New"
Contrary to the common misconception that, according to Sharia, they marry without the consent of the bride, such a procedure is provided for only in one case: this right is vested in the father and grandfather of the bride, who can marry a girl against her will, but for an equal to her.
Equal in chastity (chastity), origin, presence or absence of physical defects. Only one exception is allowed: "If a young man is a bearer of knowledge, then any girl is suitable for him." That is, only a learned person is allowed what is inaccessible to others. In Chechnya, this Shariah principle is interpreted in a peculiar way: what is possible for a high-ranking official or police officer is inaccessible to others.
Thus, in essence, Nazhud Guchigov takes the 17-year-old schoolgirl as his mistress.
And this is not his first attempt.
Some time ago, residents of the Nozhai-Yurtovsky district were forced to take their daughter out of Chechnya (Novaya Gazeta knows the name of this girl) in order to prevent her from marrying the all-powerful head of the local police department.
Heda
The story took an unexpected turn. The intentions, which the groom denied in a telephone conversation with Novaya Gazeta, were unexpectedly confirmed by the head of the republic, Ramzan Kadyrov. On May 5, the local Vainakh TV channel showed a story that began with a statement by the head of Chechnya: “I personally sent people, find out if she agrees (we are talking about our Kheda - EAT.) or not?! And her mother said that the girl agreed! And paternal grandfather gave his word and consent! And everything is completed on this issue! That's what they say! I sent a trusted person myself, and we led to an explanatory conversation!
This topic was over.
Ramzan Kadyrov made no comment on the apparent violation of his own ban on marriage with a minor. And from the plot it became clear that no one spoke to the girl herself, who asked for help personally from Ramzan Kadyrov. And that the “most trusted” person to Kadyrov did not find out that the girl’s relatives agreed, because in addition to Kheda, the family also has a son. Protecting him, the parents decided to sacrifice their daughter...
Meeting of Ramzan Kadyrov with representatives of the Chechen media - from 5:15
The rest of the TV program was devoted to criticism of Chechen journalists, who ignored this story, apparently typical for the republic.
Magomed Daudov (better known by his call sign Lord) said: “Our journalists are not professionals. No investigative journalism! They make programs about their relatives from their teip ... And Elena Milashina came from Moscow, due to the fact that this friend from Nozhai-Yurt is getting married. She came from Moscow, walks and interviews! And none of you deigned to make sure whether it was true or not!”
Ramzan Kadyrov threatened to fire the local press minister and promised that he would close all newspapers and magazines if journalists in Chechnya did not become “closer to the people”: “Your newspapers are not interesting! More interesting magazines, independent magazines, let's say, radio, can't we have? Hey, wait, that's what happened here, they're talking about us, they're talking all over the country! Everywhere they talk about it, in all the newspapers! And why don't you talk about it?.. You don't work with the people, you take it from the Internet and reprint it! You need to go out to the people, to the people and write, then your newspapers will be bought and read!<…>We must say what is! The Kadyrovs, like they don't allow it, that's how they justify themselves! I swear by Allah, they allow! .. "
The publication in Novaya Gazeta, which Kadyrov and Daudov cited as an example to Chechen journalists, caused the postponement of the date of the wedding ceremony. According to Novaya Gazeta, the wedding will still take place on May 10, although this very day in the republic is officially considered a day of mourning for Akhmat-Khadzhi Kadyrov, who died in 2004 and the victims of Stalin's deportation. The wedding will take place in Argun. The head of Chechnya is also expected as a guest.
P.S. We failed to save Khedi. But the Minister of Press of Chechnya still on Thursday.
For almost two weeks this Chechen love story has been at the top of the news, while there is nothing at all clear at first glance and everything is clear at the second.
The wedding of 17-year-old Kheda Goylabieva and the head of the Nozhai-Yurt District Department of Internal Affairs of Chechnya, Colonel Nazhud Guchigov, is one of the most discussed topics in Russia right now. But what exactly is known about it?
1. Nazhud Guchigov is already married
Nazhud Guchigov (on the right in the photo) already has a wife and a son. Russian laws do not allow any bigamy. The Commissioner for Human Rights in Russia, Ella Pamfilova, commenting on the upcoming wedding, urged not to allow violations of Russian laws in Chechnya.
2. Marriage to a 17-year-old girl is possible only in a “special case”, which is not here.
Schoolgirl Louise (Kheda) Goylabieva (pictured) is to become the so-called “second wife” of an Interior Ministry colonel at the age of 17.
Under special circumstances it is necessary to understand: pregnancy, the birth of a child, a direct threat to the life of one of the parties.
Circumstances that may serve as a reason for marriage by a minor must be documented.
But there are no restrictions on the age difference between future spouses by law.
The initial information about the forced marriage was spread by the schoolgirl's friends.
The whole village is buzzing about the situation, but - quietly. Because everyone understands on whose side the force is and what will happen to those who go against the head of the police department, Guchigov, who apparently imagines himself as the owner of the Nozhai-Yurtovsky district.
Kheda's friends, out of desperation, tried to write Ramzan Kadyrov on Instagram (after all, it is he who calls himself the "master of Chechnya"). Alas, Instagram and other social networks of the head of Chechnya are very good at clearing all requests. Because the requests of the Chechens can compromise the principle "only good news comes from Chechnya."
4. The Colonel himself didn't want to get married either.
On April 29, Novaya Gazeta was able to get through to Nazhud Guchigov (pictured). The potential groom, however, categorically denied the fact that he plans to take the minor Kheda as his second wife on May 2.
Also, he did not confirm the fact that the village of Baitarki, where Kheda lives, was blocked by posts on his orders (so that relatives could not take the bride away).
Moreover, as the same Novaya Gazeta reported, some time ago, residents of the Nozhai-Yurtovsky district were forced to take their daughter out of Chechnya (Novaya Gazeta knows the name of this girl) in order to prevent her from marrying the all-powerful head of the local police department.
5. Kadyrov said - there will be a wedding, but then he said that there will not be
The intentions, which the groom denied in a telephone conversation with Novaya Gazeta, were unexpectedly confirmed by the head of the republic, Ramzan Kadyrov.
But on May 12, the press secretary of Ramzan Kadyrov, Alvi Akhmedovich Karimov, officially stated in an interview with the radio station "Moscow speaking": "No wedding between this girl<Хедой Гойлабиевой>and this person<Нажудом Гучиговым>in the Chechen Republic was not ... ".
6. As a result, apparently, in the aggregate of all the above facts, they decided to play a wedding
Yesterday, this only record of the “most truthful in the world” TV channel Lifenews appeared, from which it follows that the “bride” does not mind the wedding again.
It turns out that Kheda has known the head of the ROVD “for a year”, they “have been talking”. I recently found out about the upcoming wedding. The wedding date has not yet been set, but the wedding will take place "within a month."
“Yes, I know that he was married and has children from his first marriage. But it just so happened that I am now marrying him.
I wonder what a newly-baked fiancé would say to the Lifenews channel, who until recently, being in a sober mind and sound memory, assured that he did not know any Kheda and that no one, especially the head of the police department, would dare to violate Ramzan Kadyrov’s ban on marriage in Chechnya with minors?
The day before, the head of the medical company, which includes Lifenews, Aram Gabrelyanov posted the following tweet:
Ah, then everything is fine! And it seemed that this whole story takes place in some kind of Absurdistan in the Middle Ages.
UPDATE: WEDDING CEREMONY REPORT Nazhuda Guchigova and Louise Goylabieva
On May 16, 2915, the official wedding ceremony of 17-year-old Luiza Goylabieva and 46-year-old head of the Nozhai-Yurt District Department of Internal Affairs Nazhud Guchigov took place in the city wedding palace in Grozny. The newlyweds officially registered the union.
No comment. You can see everything on the video.
, .May 16, 2015. Seventeen-year-old bride Kheda Goylabieva is on her way to the wedding. The door is opened to her by the son of her future husband, the influential head of the Nozhai-Yurt district of Chechnya, Nazhuda Guchigov. Photo: Ramzan Kadyrov's Instagram
may 13
After Nozhai-Yurt, the famous Chechen roads end. Lada-Kalina, on which I am going for the first time to the village of Baitarki in the Nozhai-Yurtovsky district, barely moves along the potholes and pits of a winding road. It is raining lightly - and mudflows wash away the edge of the road, pieces of clay interspersed with gravel hoot down. This area is the small home of the Benoi teip. Its descendants are representatives of the most famous Chechen families today: the Yamadayevs, the Kadyrovs, the Delimkhanovs... But the famous representatives of these clans have long since moved to the plain. Maybe that's why the poverty of the mountain villages contrasts sharply with the pomp of the skyscrapers of the lowland cities of Chechnya. Along the roadsides are old, mostly adobe houses, many with huge cracks from the roof to the foundation. Often come across uninhabited, destroyed, apparently in the war, abandoned dwellings. But they all have new little blue signs informing us that we are driving along Akhmat Kadyrov Street. It seems that this street is endless, because in all Chechen villages it is the main road at the same time.
Kheda Goylabieva's aunt Alpatu Yusupova lives in Tatai-Khutor. The head teacher of a rural school, she became famous after the first Lifenews story about her 17-year-old niece, who was betrothed by the head of the Nozhai-Yurt district police department, Nazhud Guchigov. In the story, it is Alpatu who sits next to Kheda Goylabieva and answers journalists' questions with her.
Alpatu agrees to talk to me. She invites her to her school office and tells again that her niece is getting married voluntarily. I ask why then the groom categorically denied that he was going to marry the underage Kheda. After all, it was Nazhud Guchigov's deaf refusal that confirmed the worst suspicions about the coercion of the Goylabiev family to consent to this marriage.
“She is not Kheda, but Louise,” Alpatu corrects me.
When I explain to her, a Chechen, about the Chechen tradition of two names (domestic and official), Alpatu nods her head and does not correct me anymore. But he calls his niece strictly Louise.
“What Najud said on the phone is irrelevant. Maybe it was someone else on the phone…” says Alpatu.
- What do you know about the relationship between Kheda and Najud? When did they meet?
“We met at the exams,” Alpatu says confidently. But on clarifying questions, it begins to “float”.
- What exactly did the head of the district police do at school exams?
- Not he, of course, guarded the school. I don't know how he got there. Probably went to check on his subordinates, how they work. But for the first time they saw each other at school. That's for sure. He took out Kheda's phone, and so they began to communicate. I found out that they communicate after two or three months.
Did this situation bother you? This is fine?
“It’s fine,” Alpatu replies with a smile.
- And when did the marriage start?
March, I think.
- I heard that from the Muftiate of the Republic came to woo your niece, because Louise's parents initially refused Nazhud Guchigov.
“There were also members of the muftiate of the republic,” Alpatu nods.
- Tell me, who came to you besides Lifenews journalists? Did Chechen journalists come?
- No, Chechen journalists did not come. There were two women, local human rights activists. Them on television (Lifenews - EAT.) were shown. When Louise was interrogated (she said so - EAT.), the two women sat side by side*. We also had other people, checking to see if Louise agreed.
- And who checked?
- I do not know them. Ramzan Kadyrov sent his workers from Grozny. I don't know their last names. These were men. And in our country, women do not talk to strangers.
I want to find out from my aunt whether there was a nikah between her niece and Nazhud Guchigov. Nikah is an Islamic marriage, concluded by a mullah. Unlike registration in the registry office, nikah in the Muslim regions of Russia is strictly required. After this ceremony, the girl is taken to her husband's house. According to my information, the day after my conversation with Nazhud Guchigov, Kheda Goylabieva was taken away from home.
- There was no wedding, although almost everything was ready for it! Alpatu confidently denies. - This gossip on television and on the phone prevented the wedding (Alpatu means the information that has been circulating for six months in Chechen social networks and the popular WhatsApp messenger that a girl is being forced into marriage - EAT.).
- On television, they started talking about the wedding only on May 5 at the suggestion of the leadership of the republic, - I specify. - How could gossip interfere with a marriage that both the bride and groom want, and for which everything was ready?
Alpatu cannot intelligibly answer this question.
“Where is Kheda now?” I ask.
- I do not know.
We are leaving the village, our son Alpatu accompanies us. We get him out of the car at Alpatu's house and pretend that we are driving in the opposite direction from Batairkov in the direction of Nozhay-Yurt. The boy stands on the road, looks after us, calls on the phone. After waiting a bit on the side of the road, we turn back.
…Baitarki is a godforsaken place. There are only two new red brick buildings in the village: a mosque and a school. As it turned out, Kheda's father Ismail works as a boxing coach at the school. The Goylabievs' house is very modest. The situation is poor. There are five children in the family (as Kheda's sister Janet told us). Two boys and three girls, Kheda is the youngest, older sisters are not married. There is no one in the house except for the sick grandmother and Janet.
- Kheda and her mother went to the market in Khasavyurt, when they will be at home, it is not known, - says Janet.
- Will she be here tomorrow? I ask.
- I dont know. They will probably also go to the market.
“Are they going the day after tomorrow too?”
- I dont know. May be.
- What is she doing there?
“He buys gifts for the wedding,” Janet puts an end to it.
I ask Janet how old her sisters are. She is confused, she cannot even name Kheda's age.
“She's 18,” Janet says. — Or 17. I don't remember.
It turns out that the passport was taken from Janet's house a week ago by people unknown to Janet.
Janet leads me to the second floor. A sofa and two armchairs with shiny buttons, a cheap wall-to-wall carpet - that's the whole setting. The only wardrobe for clothes is in Kheda's sick grandmother's room. In the corner of the room are boxes with the Chanel logo - gifts for the groom's relatives, shown on Lifenews. I wonder how the Goylabiev family could have bought them. No other gifts that Kheda Goylabieva and her mother “buy at the market in Khasavyurt” all day long can be seen in the house.
“Here was Kheda's wedding dress,” Janet points to the closet door.
- It was? - I'm surprised.
- We rented it back (wedding dresses in Chechnya are very expensive and poor families prefer to rent them - EAT.).
- What is it like? I don't understand right away. - Why? There hasn't been a wedding yet!
“Well…” Janet hesitates. - Once canceled<свадьбу>, Kheda wanted to take another dress. Get richer.
- Why was the wedding canceled, because you were preparing for it?
- Yes, we were preparing. Here, the dress was rented.
- Is this the dress that the journalists took off?
Who called off the wedding? Groom's relatives?
- Did they tell you the reason?
Janet can't answer that question. Instead, he tells in general terms the official version of Najud's acquaintance with Kheda. We met during the exam. He took out his phone and started talking. Expensive gifts, such as an apartment or money (this information came from the Chechen journalist Zalina Lakaeva), Guchigov did not give his bride.
“Heda didn’t take them,” Janet explains. - But after the wedding, everything will be! Before that, she said she didn't want any gifts."
Information about Kheda's communication with Najud, as Janet says, "was not a secret, everyone knew." Najud waited a long time until Khede turned 17 years old. Who wrote in WhatsApp "lies about forcing the bride" - Janet does not know.
— If I come tomorrow, will Kheda be at home? I ask Janet.
- I do not know. If she finishes buying everything there.
People are starting to arrive at the house. Two women enter, introducing themselves as fellow villagers. They interfere in the conversation. They insist that Kheda is getting married by consent. They explain why Kheda's grandfather, and not his father, gave consent to the wedding.
We don't ask for our father.
I am sincerely perplexed, since this, to put it mildly, is not entirely true. Neither according to Chechen customs, nor according to Islamic.
Is your father at school now? I ask Janet. - Can I talk to him?
“I don’t know if he wants to ...” the girl is lost.
Janet and I exchange phone numbers. She promises to call when Kheda arrives home.
At school, boys of 8-10 years old run out to meet them. We ask where the gym is. They show us the way and along the way explain that they came to boxing training, and Ismail (Kheda's father) kicked them out, closed the gym and left just five minutes ago. The guys are clearly confused. The gym is indeed closed.
A dark Lada 14 or 15 model X433XC 05 is waiting for us outside the school fence. There are four police officers in it: two men and two women. Directly from the school, this car obviously, without hiding, follows us along the road from Baitarki - and to the post on the administrative border in the Dagestan village of Novolakskoye. Just in case, I report the numbers of the car by phone to the editor. At the post we are slowed down, documents are being rewritten. When we return to the car, one of the officers guarding the post says:
“Here a white Priora stopped behind you. People came out of it and said that they know you and that we let you through.
A white Priora with numbers A848EE 95 is waiting for us three hundred meters behind the post. Passes and follows us. There are two people in the car, a man and a woman. I report the numbers of this car to the editor. She will follow us to Khasavyurt.
We arrived in Grozny when it was already getting dark. From Zhaneta Goylabieva comes sms "urgently call back". I call back. She says Kheda is at home and they are waiting for me back. I say that it is already late, and when we come to them, it will be quite night. I suggest calling tomorrow.
She won't be able to tomorrow. Only today. Now.
The answer is that I need to negotiate with the driver. Janet insistently calls several more times, but the driver categorically refuses to go to the mountains at night.
In the evening, the Vainakh television channel in Grozny shows a 13-minute special report in which my work in Chechnya was called "rabid, anti-Chechen and anti-Russian propaganda." I was accused of using the situation with Kheda Goylabieva “to discredit the authorities of Chechnya”, that I “are trying to present the entire Chechen people as savages” and “that I will be responsible for several articles at once.”
The new press minister Dzhambulat Umarov (the last one was after the first publication of Novaya Gazeta about the scandalous wedding) said that “Chechen journalists, Chechen writers and other representatives of Chechen civil society are outraged by my activities.” And therefore he does not know "how this flow of indignation will be stopped."
May 14
On a visit to the Goylabievs we leave the next morning, May 14, with the employees of the Consolidated Mobile Group and the journalist of the Nizhny Novgorod "MK" Konstantin Gusev. We reach the village of Novolakskoye at 8 am. At the Dagestan checkpoint, they check our documents and let us through with the words “everyone is going to Baitarki today.” At the border checkpoint with Chechnya, 20 meters from the Dagestan checkpoint, we are slowed down. They take everyone's passports.
Are you the same Milashina? - suddenly asks the officer of the post, Russian by nationality. - Did you pass here yesterday in a Lada-Kalina car?
“Yes,” I answer. - And what?
“They are very interested in you.
- By chance, not Chechen law enforcement agencies? - I clarify.
“What a smart guy you are,” the guy replies with a smile.
Then he says seriously:
He takes the documents and leaves with the words "Wait, we need to inform the authorities that you are here." While we are waiting, a car with numbers AAA 95 of the region passes by without any control. With such numbers, employees of the Chechen government usually drive. After 15 minutes, they finally let us through.
The Chechen traffic police officer wishes us good luck.
In Baitarky, near the Goylabievs' house, they are already waiting for us. An elderly woman is standing in front of the gate. In response to my “hello”, he says: “What do you need here?”
I explain that I came at the invitation of Kheda's sister and ask who this woman is related to the Goylabievs. Turns out she's a fellow villager. I apologize and go into the courtyard of the house. About ten determined women and two men had already gathered there. One of them takes pictures of what is happening on the camera of the phone. Kostya Gusev jokes in his ear: “I wonder how quickly Lifenews will show this record?”.
- We're fed up with you! shouts a woman from the crowd.
A terrible uproar rises, they grab my hands and do not let me orient myself. I try to explain that I came at the invitation of Janet. Janet immediately disowns her calls from yesterday. I show her inbox on my phone, but she says the number is not hers. I do not insist, everything is clear.
I recognize Heda Makku's mother in the crowd and say hello. "Thank you for your help," Makka says, "but please leave." I still want to talk to Kheda. A woman in a black sweater behind me pushes me very aggressively in the back. “You are tired of us! she screams. “When we were being killed, where were you with your help?”
I'm trying to explain that I'm from the newspaper where Anna Politkovskaya worked. Politkovskaya is not known here. The noise doesn't stop.
The people are arriving. At some point, Heda appears. I try to outshout the women and ask if she's willing to talk to me. She agrees, but she is pushed away from me. She is trying to say something in response in Chechen. Finally, with incredible efforts, we get into the house. They are not allowed to speak. The guy with the phone is filming what is happening. Kheda asks him several times to stop.
“I am getting married voluntarily,” Kheda says. And looks at the guy with the phone. I have a feeling that they are filming not even me, but her. That the entire Goylabiev family is under control. I don't see either my father or grandfather of the Goylabievs anywhere. Even the uncle who appeared in the Lifenews story on behalf of the male part of this family is not here.
A stranger bursts into the room and starts yelling at me.
- Leave immediately! Away! Out!
The scream turns women on, one of them grabs my hand and literally pushes me out of the house and onto the street. Kheda's mother and the girl herself remain in the house. The level of aggression is growing. For the first time in 11 years of work in Chechnya, I am being kicked out of my Chechen home.
- I'm ashamed of you, you are Chechens! You act like you're broken. Where is your pride? - I say to the aunts, shoving me to the car.
“We lost our pride a long time ago!” ** shouts one. - Let's! Get out of here and never come back!
On the porch of the school where Kheda studied, I am met by the same guy who filmed our meeting with Kheda on the phone ... But I have no time for him: pupils in dark scarves and white aprons look out from all the windows of the two-story Baitarkov school. They smile and wave at me.
On the way back we again "tail". At the Novolakskoye checkpoint, the officers of the post are clearly happy that we returned alive. Konstantin Gusev is detained at the Dagestan post, who since morning "was clean according to the Ministry of Internal Affairs", and a few hours later he managed to be on the federal wanted list. We are kept at the post for half an hour. All this time employees are negotiating with someone on the phone. Finally, they let go.
Baitarki
P.S. I repeatedly tried to contact the leadership of the Chechen Republic to ask questions and get answers to them. Unfortunately, Chechen officials preferred to communicate with me through other media reports, rather than in person. Only the head of the administration of the head and government of the Chechen Republic, Magomed Daudov, made contact. The same Lord who accompanied Kheda Goylabieva to the registry office. He expressed his attitude to this whole sad story in sms:
“There is a saying among the fans: the main thing is not how they played, but the score on the scoreboard.”
* Luiza and Leyla Ayubov, who head pro-government NGOs in Chechnya, took an active part in the Lifenews meeting with Kheda. One of the sisters starred in the Vainakh special report and condemned my work in Chechnya.
** These words are heard in a video posted on LifeNews.