Should the child be sent to a nursery or kindergarten, and if so, when? How to choose the right kindergarten. Is it necessary to send a child to kindergarten: all the pros and cons - the opinion of psychologists What is needed to send a child to kindergarten

Does the child need to go to kindergarten? They say that "home" children are very difficult to adapt to school, because they are not used to being in a team.

Until recently, it was believed that kindergarten is a truly necessary link in the development of every child. Indeed, "home" kids often had difficulty adapting to school rules, to the rules of communication adopted in the peer group. Perhaps these difficulties were explained primarily by the fact that there were very few such children, the vast majority were just “kindergarten” children. Often, children moved in whole groups from the “yard” kindergarten to the same “yard” (that is, in the microdistrict) school. And if a child who spent the first seven years of his life under his mother's and grandmother's wing fell into the same class, he, of course, had a hard time.

Today the situation is different. Children who have never attended kindergarten are no longer an exception. In addition, the very concept of "kindergarten" today is not as clear as it used to be. In addition to the standard state kindergarten, there are a number of other options for "employment" of a preschool child. So, children come to the first grade with the most diverse “luggage”: someone went to an ordinary kindergarten, someone went to some Development Center, and someone sat at home with a nanny.

And now, at first, timid, but gaining strength, voices of those who took the liberty of asserting that "home" children were no worse than "kindergarten children" began to be heard. Of course, everywhere there are exceptions, but, in general, a child raised at home, and not in an “institution”, may well be as developed, independent, proactive and sociable as a kindergarten pupil. Another thing is that for this, parents should not just “keep” the precious child at home, but work on developing all these qualities in him.

What exactly does attending a kindergarten give a child? Primarily - the opportunity to communicate with peers, inclusion in the group. You can be convinced individualists, reserved and unsociable, but you must remember: Starting approximately from the age of three (and from the age of four - absolutely!) the child needs to communicate with other children. And you must give him this opportunity.

Of course, in kindergarten, the child learns to communicate not only with other children, but also with adults. Before school age, parents are, of course, the only truly authoritative adults in a child's life. But the experience of communicating with kindergarten teachers helps the child avoid difficulties in establishing relationships with school teachers in the future. The kid learns that in addition to the mother, there are other adults whose opinions need to be listened to, and sometimes simply obeyed.

Another one is naturally connected with this moment: in kindergarten, the child gets acquainted with certain rules of behavior and learns to observe them. The word "discipline" in many of us causes a rather negative attitude, since it is associated with the "equalizing" drill, adopted both in kindergartens and in schools of the Soviet era. But if we ignore these associations and understand the word "discipline" as simply the ability to adhere to the necessary rules of human society, then we should admit that these skills are necessary for a child.

Finally, in kindergarten, the child receives opportunities for intellectual and physical development. Strictly speaking, the standard educational programs adopted in public kindergartens leave much to be desired: in many ordinary kindergartens, classes are not enough, and they are far from being carried out at the highest level. The mere “kindergarten” education is not enough for a child. In any case, parents should deal with the baby themselves. But if a "home" child spends whole days exclusively in front of the TV screen, then in kindergarten, of course, he will receive incomparably more. Drawing, modeling, construction, speech development, music lessons and physical education - this minimal "gentleman's set" will provide even the simplest state kindergarten. If you are lucky and you find a really good kindergarten (there are also state ones) with a good, extensive program, you can expect that your kid will be really interested there.

Can I provide my child with all the conditions necessary for his harmonious development at home without sending him to kindergarten?

In principle, this is possible. But only if you are really ready for this very, very serious work. The most difficult thing in home education is, perhaps, not the intellectual or physical development of the child. Just in these areas, a caring and educated mother can give a child much more than kindergarten classes. It is much more difficult to create all the necessary conditions for the child's social development.

Above, we have already talked about the main advantages of kindergarten: the child gets the opportunity to communicate with peers and with adults other than parents, learns to behave "in society", to follow the rules. And if you do not want to send your baby to kindergarten, you need to think carefully about how you will provide these opportunities to your child.

A "home" child should spend a lot of time in playgrounds, playing with other children. In addition, it is highly desirable to provide him with some kind of permanent friend-the same age - or rather, several friends. You need to take him to visit and invite other children to your home.

This task is quite feasible. But we must not forget about another important point - the communication of the child with adults. It is no secret that women who prefer to stay at home with their children until it is time to go to school often have a heightened sense of parental duty and the desire to be perfect mothers without fail. Some rather unfavorable consequences follow from this laudable desire: such mothers are almost always convinced that they simply do not have the right to entrust their precious baby to someone else (moreover, all other people often fall into the category of “outsiders” - including closest friends , and grandparents).

If you don’t send your child to kindergarten because you don’t trust the teachers and think that no one but you will be able to properly treat the child, find the right approach to him, you need to urgently change this point of view! Of course, the child cannot be given into the first hands that come across. But you can’t limit his world only to your own person either. You need to understand that the child needs experience with other adults besides the mother- even if this mother is really the best in the world!

If you don’t want to send your beloved child to kindergarten, give him to some circle, section, play group. Arrange with one of your friends that from time to time your child will spend the day with her. The best thing is if among your friends there are young mothers just like you. You can create a “visiting schedule” by taking turns hosting other kids. Let your private "kindergarten" "work" for only a few hours a day, at least a couple of times a week: this will already bring great benefits to the kids. They will learn to communicate with each other, and little by little they will get used to the fact that sometimes you have to obey not only your mother.

Suitable age: does it make sense to send a child to a nursery?

The most optimal age for publication is four years. Yes, no less! And please, try not to listen to the persistent advice of experienced grandmothers, who are always ready to explain to us that "the sooner the better - you'll get used to it quickly"! Because it's not true.

A one-year-old toddler, of course, can “get used” to the fact that for some reason their beloved mother was replaced by someone else’s, not too affectionate aunt. To get used to means to accept and suffer in silence, reacting to stress “only” with frequent colds and other illnesses, bad mood, and a decrease in interest in the world around. Such passive resistance is far from being a trifle, it has a very negative impact on the further emotional, intellectual and physical development of the baby.

Today, most nurseries accept children from only a year and a half. But this is too early! A year and a half is the age when the so-called separation anxiety is just beginning to subside. Simply put, the baby is still too strongly attached to the mother and reacts very painfully to her absence, and equally to the appearance of strangers, especially if they try to get too close to him.

It's not a secret for anyone that "unfavorable" children adapt best in the nursery, that is, those who do not live very well at home. Kindergarten teachers are well aware of this. They sadly talk about the fact that in each group there are one or two kids who do not want to leave the kindergarten in the evenings: parents come, call from the threshold of the group, and the child ... turns his back, hides behind a shelf with toys. And the point here is not at all that the baby "played" too much, was too carried away by some of his important baby affairs.

For a one and a half year old toddler, meeting with his mother, the opportunity to cling to her tightly and not let go anywhere is the most important thing, by definition, due to age characteristics. Starting from this age, the fear of unfamiliar adults is gradually smoothed out, but it does not completely disappear for quite a long time (although different children differ greatly in this). Interest in other children wakes up in kids only by the age of three. At the same time, at first they are drawn to comrades older than themselves, then they begin to be interested in those who are younger, and only in the last turn they pay attention to their peers.

So, a nursery of one and a half years can only be justified by the most extreme necessity. Before deciding to give the child to a nursery, you need to go through all the possible options that allow you to leave the baby at home. Look for work at home, try to negotiate with familiar mothers that you will take turns “grazing” your kids. Believe me, there are no hopeless situations, and if you wish, you can always find some alternative to a manger.

It is a little easier for a two-year-old child to get used to the nursery. The general rule remains the same - early! But there are quite a few exceptions to this rule. By the age of two, the baby can be really very sociable, and if the kindergarten (primarily teachers!) Is good, the child may like it there. In any case, you can try to take the child to the nursery if you are already convinced that he is not afraid of other children and adults, has the necessary self-care skills (he knows how to use the potty, can eat on his own), without much suffering experiences your absence.

At the same time, you must definitely observe the behavior, mood of the baby, the state of his health. If you see that your two-year-old is difficult to adapt to the nursery, in no case do not insist, do not persist in your intention to accustom him to the "institution" right now. The saying “be patient - fall in love” does not work in this case! The negative experience of visiting the nursery will affect in the future: in a year or two, when "home" children come to the group and adapt to the kindergarten without any problems, your baby will still perceive the kindergarten as a place of confinement, will often get sick, cry in the morning and evenings.

In our case, such folk wisdom is applicable: "The miser pays twice." Sending a two-year-old who is not ready for this to a nursery does not win anything. Returning to work will result in regular sick leave. It is much wiser to spend time wisely: gradually, without haste, but persistently and consistently prepare your baby for kindergarten. Such an “investment” of your time, your care will pay off in full. Let it sound trite, but still: what can be more precious than the health of a beloved child - both physical and psychological?

Some mothers send two-year-old babies to a nursery, not because they really need to go to work, but for “pedagogical” reasons: they say that in a group a child will be taught to be independent, he will develop faster, etc. Yes, talking all day with other people's aunts and being just one of fifteen or twenty such little ones, your child will probably learn to hold a spoon and pull on his pants faster than his "home" peers. But is it really that important in and of itself? At home, he also learns independence, masters all these necessary everyday skills - but how could it be otherwise? This, of course, requires your attention, your work and your patience.

Let's be honest. Bringing the baby to the nursery, we cannot even dream of some kind of individual approach, respect for the personality of the child, etc. Things are better with kindergartens, but the nursery cannot be considered a place that is useful for the child.

And the age characteristics of a two-year-old child, and the quality of our nursery, in general, lead to the following conclusion: wait, do not rush! It has been proven that the pupils of the nursery are often later characterized by less initiative in making decisions, since activity and emotionality are largely laid in the first years of life.

Note to mom

A child who is not getting used to a nursery or a kindergarten does not necessarily demonstrate this explicitly. He can behave quite obediently and even submissively, expressing his feelings in some indirect way. The most common form of passive resistance in toddlers is frequent colds.

But there are other points that you need to pay attention to. This is sleep, appetite, the behavior of the child at home in the evenings, after kindergarten. For the first time after the start of attending a nursery or kindergarten, such “charms” as a decrease in appetite, difficulty falling asleep and even crying at night, domestic whims and a somewhat reduced or irritable mood can be considered “normal”. But if after three or four weeks the situation does not improve, we can say that the child does not adapt well to kindergarten or nursery.

In this case, it is advisable to save the baby from visiting the kindergarten for the next year, and if this is completely impossible, try to mitigate the traumatic situation for him: leave him in the kindergarten only for half a day, give him an extra day off in the middle of the week, look for a kindergarten or nursery with fewer children in a group.

These recommendations may not seem too realistic. Nevertheless, the experience of many mothers shows that they can be performed if desired. And the efforts justify themselves, because as a result you preserve the mental well-being of the child, and therefore your own.

What is the best age for a child to start kindergarten?

We have already begun to answer this question. We repeat once again: most psychologists today consider four years to be the optimal age, and three is quite acceptable. By the age of three, the child is no longer afraid to remain without a mother for some time, begins to be interested in communicating with other children, and has self-service skills. But he will really enjoy playing with peers only closer to four years.

The ideal option is to gradually, without haste and making strict requirements, start introducing the child to kindergarten at three to three and a half years. First, go for walks with him with the kindergarten group, then leave him in the kindergarten for half a day.

If it quickly turns out that the child does not mind spending time in a new environment, you can move on to a regular kindergarten visit. If the baby does not express special enthusiasm, there is nothing wrong with the fact that up to four years old he will attend the kindergarten according to the “sparing” regime.

Do not worry about the fact that he will lag behind his peers in some way. The main thing is that after three years he does not remain in a closed home space, one on one with his mother or grandmother, but gradually expands the boundaries of the familiar world.

Note to mom

Here is a very important, albeit purely "technical" warning. All the advice given by psychologists, authors of various books and manuals (including the author of this article) regarding kindergarten is somewhat theoretical. Smooth, soft and unhurried adaptation to kindergarten is an ideal to strive for. But in fact, unless you have sufficient financial resources to enroll your child in a private “family” kindergarten (and most of us just don’t have such opportunities), be prepared for the fact that life will make its own adjustments to your ideal scheme.

And the first thing you will encounter is the queue. Yes, yes, the good old queue in kindergarten from your own childhood. Even seven or eight years ago, mothers could really slowly move from one kindergarten to another, compare and choose the one that is better.

The birth rate in the country was low, kindergartens were empty and closed, and those that remained afloat were ready to take almost everyone into their walls, regardless of registration in the desired microdistrict. (Crèche, by the way, has always been overcrowded, but there are much fewer of them than kindergartens.) Today there are more children, and the number of kindergartens has decreased - just in those "childless" years. And in the simplest, "yard" kindergarten, you need to sign up at least a year before the child goes there. With the same gardens that are especially popular in your area, you can safely begin to “be friends” even during pregnancy.

This practice has become more and more common in recent years. A child at two years old is given to a nursery, he gets used to them with difficulty, and the parents decide to leave him at home for another year. But at the same time, in no case do they take away documents! They persuade the administration to “keep the place”, regularly pay monthly receipts in order to keep the opportunity to send the child to kindergarten without any problems in a year or even two.

So draw your own conclusions. You need to look for a kindergarten in advance, at least a year in advance, ideally even earlier. Be active, do not expect gifts from fate. Walking the streets with a stroller in which your newborn lies, get to know the mothers of older children, find out which kindergartens they go to, whether they are happy with them.

In addition, the Internet can be a great help in finding a good kindergarten. There are ratings of schools and kindergartens on numerous "parent" sites. There you can find reviews about different kindergartens, groups, development centers. In addition, you will have the opportunity to ask any specific questions, get the necessary advice.

The child does not want to go to kindergarten at all ...

Can any child be taught to kindergarten?

Doctors, psychologists and parents call some children “non-kindergarten”. What is behind this definition? Are there really children who under no circumstances can adapt to kindergarten?

To be honest, there are probably no such children. The only question is how much effort the child and his parents need to make in order for adaptation to kindergarten to take place, and whether these efforts are justified, that is, whether they need to be made.

According to how kids adapt to kindergarten, they can be divided into three groups.

The first group is children who react to a change in the situation with a real nervous breakdown. Frequent colds are almost always added to this.

The second group - children who do not show signs of nervous strain, "only" begin to get sick often.

The third group is children who get used to the kindergarten without any problems and difficulties.

So, every second child belongs to the first or second group. Does this mean that only half of the children who go to kindergarten have a chance to “take root” there, and all the rest should stay at home until school age? Of course not.

In most cases, adaptation problems are solvable, and it does not take too much time. Kindergarten is stressful for a child, but stress is quite manageable. Only the baby must be helped to cope with this new and very serious experience. Such a large number of children experiencing difficulties in adapting to kindergarten is largely due to their unpreparedness for a new way of life. You can not throw a child into an unfamiliar environment, like into water, in the expectation that he will immediately learn to “swim”. It is worthwhile to devote time and attention in advance to preparing for visiting the kindergarten, and then your baby will most likely be in the third, prosperous group.

Despite all my efforts, the child still cannot get used to kindergarten. What explains this and what can be done?

Indeed, in some cases even careful preliminary work does not help. Despite all your efforts and good intentions, the child continues to protest in one form or another against attending kindergarten. What's the matter?

First of all, the baby may not have reached the right age yet (we discussed this issue in detail above). In addition, as already mentioned, a child's attitude towards kindergarten can be greatly spoiled by a bad experience attending a nursery. A conditioned reflex can work here: even a small child remembers (at least on a subconscious, emotional level) that he has already been within these walls and felt bad. If this is the reason, then it is best to postpone the “publicity” for some more time (at least for six months), while continuing to maintain contact with the kindergarten during this period - go for walks, make friends on “neutral territory” with someone from the kids who go to the same group.

Difficulties in adapting to kindergarten may also be due to the temperament of the child. Temperament is an innate characteristic, it cannot be changed, but “on the other hand”, unfortunately, it can be suppressed, forcibly distorted. Sanguine babies usually adapt to a new environment quite safely, but choleric and phlegmatic people often have a hard time. Children with a choleric temperament turn out to be too active and noisy, but slow phlegmatic people can suffer even more - they simply do not keep up with the others. And in the kindergarten, it is important to keep pace: eat on time, get dressed or undressed on time, complete some task ...

Carefully observe your baby, ask the teacher about how exactly the child spends the day in the group. And if you decide that the difficulties in adaptation are connected precisely with the “uncomfortable” temperament for the kindergarten, be sure to discuss this with the teachers. Explain to them that the baby is behaving in an “inappropriate” way, not because he is guilty of something, but because he cannot do otherwise.

Do not be shy to be persistent and firm, informing the educators that in no case should your phlegmatic little one be constantly tugged at, urged on, and even more so scolded for slowness. Tell them (and, of course, keep in mind yourself) that under pressure from adults, a phlegmatic child only becomes even more slow and passive.

His nervous system functions in such a way that, with excessive stimulation, “emergency braking” is generally turned on, and the child falls into a real prostration. But, if such a child is not disturbed, he knows how to bring what he has begun to the end, is calm and balanced, accurate and reliable. As for slowness, as the child grows and develops, it will gradually smooth out. The pace of the phlegmatic will still be somewhat reduced compared to sanguine and especially choleric - the pace, but not the effectiveness! While the hurried choleric man pulls all his clothes inside out and upside down twice, and the teacher finally changes his clothes correctly, the phlegmatic child will just have time once, but correctly and accurately, fasten all the buttons and even, perhaps, tie the shoelaces. All this must be explained to the educators so that they remember: the less they pull and rush your “slow mover”, the faster it will “level out”, get used to the kindergarten environment and begin to have time to do everything you need.

And what to do with those very hurried choleric people who do not sit still for a second and in general often resemble a small tornado? It is clear that such a temperament does not cause much enthusiasm among kindergarten teachers. But again, it is necessary to talk to the staff and explain that the baby is "raging" not because of a lack of education, but because of the innate personality traits. Tell the educators that it would be good for your “hurricane” child to engage in some kind of active activity if possible. If he scattered toys, then he will surely collect them with the same pleasure and speed - if he is asked, and not forced. As a rule, in kindergartens, children are still allowed to move quite freely - run and jump (they are allowed, if only because it is impossible to force twenty-three-year-olds to sit quietly and for a long time on high chairs!).

If you come across very strict teachers who require children to stand in one place during the walk or walk back and forth in pairs - well, in this case it is best to look for other teachers. (By the way, this applies not only to the problems of choleric children! Drilling, suppression, severe restriction of natural activity are harmful to any child, regardless of temperament.)

Finally, in search of the reasons for the poor adaptability of the child to the kindergarten, think about this: do you easily adapt to new conditions yourself? Do you like to be in noisy companies? If a child grows up in a society of closed, little sociable parents, then, most likely, he himself will prefer quiet games alone. For such a baby, an ordinary crowded kindergarten can really be contraindicated, but at the same time, in no case should he be left in isolation! It certainly needs to be "brought to light", although it should be done unobtrusively and carefully, in small "doses". It is very good to define such a “recluse” in a play group in which there are few children and where you do not need to spend the whole day.

Who better to stay at home

Weakened, often ill (even before any kindergarten!) Children, as well as babies with an unstable nervous system, should not be given to an ordinary, standard kindergarten. This does not mean that such children cannot be sent anywhere at all. You just need to consider that if your baby is not too healthy, this means his increased sensitivity, vulnerability. It must be approached with extreme caution, and the kindergarten should be chosen even more carefully than in the case of an “ordinary” (if there are such a thing in the world!) Child. There are special health-improving kindergartens, but one should not rely on the name alone: ​​if there are fifteen people in the group and one teacher for two shifts, visiting such a garden will not bring your baby a big healing effect.

If you don’t plan to spend the next few years on sick leave to care for your child, put aside your dreams of a kindergarten for the time being and start “healing” the baby on your own: follow his regimen and nutrition, take more walks, if doctors allow, start tempering. Try to find opportunities for the child to attend at least a couple of times a week some kind of "school of development", a play group. If this is in no way possible, at least get out with him to visit, so that he little by little "breaks away" from you, learns that the world around is wide and not dangerous.

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You are busy preparing your child for kindergarten, where he will have to go in a few weeks: synchronized the regimen, thought out adaptation to kindergarten. But in your heart you still doubt: should you send your child to kindergarten? What if he refuses to go there? Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky is a categorical opponent of the nursery, and he is more loyal to the kindergarten. If you need "another opinion" about the need for kindergarten - here it is.

At the age of 18, I waved a broom in a kindergarten under the KGB of the USSR. There was also a five-day nursery. Now, probably, not everyone knows what it is. This is when a child of a year and a half is taken to a nursery on Monday morning, and taken away on Friday evening. It is not surprising that children's crying was constantly heard from this department.

An additional nightmare of the situation was that the parents of the crying children lived right next door. 30 years have passed, and I still hear these terrible children's cries, and the following scene pops up before my eyes: in long leather coats, the workers of the organs go to their homes; seeing one of the parents in the yard, the nanny runs out of the nursery and shouts: "Well, take at least a bath!". And people in leather coats turn around and answer: "We'll pick it up on Saturday, there's a lot of work."

Another story. In the United States, Congress has been receiving a request for many years to allocate funds for the creation of state institutions. And for many years, congressmen have rejected this request. They believe that since you have given birth to a child, all responsibility for it should lie with you, and not with the state. And that raising children in government conditions means harming them. And in some ways they are certainly right.

In our country, however, kindergartens appeared as "a means of emancipating the working woman-mother" and have always been considered a boon. Although there are many disadvantages of staying in these institutions, the advantage is the same: they allow a woman (who does not have money for a nanny) to go to work.

And when the mother drags the child into the garden and hands it over to the teacher, she sometimes feels like an evil stepmother who leaves her stepdaughter in the forest to be eaten by wolves. And for good reason. Kindergarten is not the best place for a child, especially if he does not want to go there.

So what to do, if the child does not want to go to kindergarten? And no "at least for an hour", "mom will pick you up soon" do not work. There is only one correct answer - do not take him to kindergarten.

And this story could have ended.

If not for the question: Why doesn't he want to go to kindergarten?? Millions of kids run hopping there, and when at the end of the day their mother comes for them, they chase her away with the words "I'm still running." And then it was your child who disliked kindergarten. There is reason to think and find out the reason.

Why does the child not want to go to kindergarten

There are several options.

1. The child has something like social phobia. He avoids new places, new people, does not make contact with children, is afraid of new territories.
2. Perhaps the problem is more serious: the child has autistic problems. The child is immersed in himself and, in principle, is afraid of any changes.
3. There is an unhealthy, even pathological attachment to the mother. Up to the fact that when the parents go far away, the child's temperature rises. Such children, as they say, before school sleep with their mother in the same bed and hold her hand.
4. The child has a developmental delay. It is believed that it is better to send children to kindergarten no earlier than three years. And at the age of five, in many countries this is even considered mandatory. It can be said that parents are persistently, to the point of compulsion, recommended to send their child to kindergarten and then they don’t even take them to school without it. So, a 4-5-year-old ("according to the passport") child may well have the psyche of a three-year-old. Hence the problems with socialization. After all, very young children, for example, can easily not have friends - in order to be friends, start relationships, at least somehow communicate, you need to mature psychologically for this.
5. The child is very anxious, dependent, prone to fears. He is not only afraid, but also does not know how to behave in an unfamiliar environment. The reason for this may be the overprotection that he was surrounded by in a family where everything is done for him, and he himself cannot even tie his shoelaces.
6. Some children, against the background of anxiety, have such weak immunity that they may not even cry when they are woken up in kindergarten - they immediately fall ill.

What to do with it?

Firstly, do not assume that today the child is crying and does not want to go to the garden, and tomorrow he will "endure, fall in love" and "everything will work out." I don't like these expressions. Since the child has a problem, since his psyche resists, then this problem can be solved either by contacting a specialist (a child neurologist, psychologist, psychotherapist), or by breaking his psyche.

And if he no longer cries, but dutifully dresses and trudges to the kindergarten, this does not mean that he is used to it. This means that he does not have the strength to fight the circumstances. He is practically held hostage by his parents and simply lost the ability to resist them.

So I strongly advise: if you notice one of the alarming symptoms, contact a professional psychologist. Some cases require attention, study and treatment. And it is likely that after the intervention of a specialist, having dealt with his problems, the child will be happy to go to the garden. But in any case, you need to help him.

How to send a child to kindergarten: instructions for parents

What must be done if, before the first trip to the kindergarten, everything is more or less normal for you, but there is a slight excitement:

• take a vacation for two weeks (in extreme cases, hire a nanny or attract a grandmother);
• arrange in kindergarten so that for the first time (for example, the first week) you have the opportunity to stay on the territory of the kindergarten, and as soon as your child begins to look around lonely, mom immediately comes around the corner;
• the second week of the child's stay in kindergarten, it is also better not to go far from him - not to sit in the kindergarten, but is somewhere very close;
• the first time (from a week to two), leave the child in the garden only until lunch, during this period he will fully adapt.

And always, and not just the first two weeks, please remember that children perceive the world through adults and their assessment. And kindergarten is no exception. As soon as you begin to twitch, the garden begins to be associated with your tension and "nerves".

And if in the morning it’s hell in the house, if every time you yell something like: “Sleep again! Get up soon! We’re late! Get dressed! Where are the pantyhose? In this case, the child, of course, will perceive the kindergarten as something problematic and terrible.

About how important it is to prepare clothes in advance and get up on time, I think it’s not worth reminding.

But also try to tune in positively and, going to the kindergarten and on the way there, radiate peace and love. Tell me how you envy the fact that he goes to the garden, and you, like a sucker, cannot go there, because you have already grown up and therefore are forced to go to work. (And in no case should you say that going to kindergarten is his job. It's not a job! It's a game, walks, songs, dances, and so on.)

Yes, and do not forget to pick up the child from the garden on time. Because even if he spent the day safely there, if everyone has already been taken away, and they don’t come for him, he will still think about whether to go there tomorrow.

Well, the last thing about the reasons why children do not want to go to kindergarten, and ways to deal with it. If your child is healthy, cheerful, curious, cheerful, but does not want to go to the garden - leave him alone: ​​he just does not want to go there.

Come up with something. Find a way not to make your child's childhood a constant stress. After all, if he resists so much, and you, taking advantage of his dependence on you, break his will and spit on his desires, you already form an inferior psyche in him at an early age.

And what's more: lay the likelihood of developing neuroses and psychoses, fears and anxiety, enuresis and asthma, tics and diathesis.

Although, of course, it can, and cost. Do you want to check?

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Tell us, please, how do you adapt to kindergarten? shove it into a group and let it yell? or sit with the child in the locker room, wait until they get used to it and come in by themselves? Mine does not enter the group, but she enjoys walking with the children on the playground. Tried to shove it into a group, it only gets worse.

I wrote here some time ago about the difficult adaptation of my daughter in kindergarten; the process is underway, now a new question - to those whose children first went to kindergarten before bedtime, and then for a full day. How did you manage to persuade the child to stay in the garden for a quiet hour?

The son does not want to go to kindergarten at his 3 years old, he starts crying at home when we get ready. We tried to walk together and sit in a group, they left one for 1-1.5 hours. We have been going like this since July 20 and so far there are no improvements. What is wrong or not a kindergarten child?

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According to the parents, it is not possible to send the child to the preparatory courses now. The case is drawing to a close. Write a formal request to your education - did you understand correctly that in March next year your child will be expelled from kindergarten.

tell me, please, who has passed or is undergoing a period of adaptation to kindergarten. Someone has a similar reaction to the garden: we go for a week, the child is 2.5 years old. He began to cry in his sleep, and often after waking up for 30 minutes it is impossible to calm down, sobbing. does not let, tears / snot wipe does not give even more wind up.

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We went to the garden for the 3rd time on September 1st. We have been in kindergarten for 2 weeks. The scheme is still the same: 5 (no longer 4!) days in the garden - ... Snot - laryngitis / tracheitis / otitis media. Croup almost happened, but I am already an experienced mother, I prevent it. I used to go to kindergarten with tears, now she likes it. I will decide to leave the garden only for very serious reasons, because. I think kindergarten is necessary for my daughter's development.

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Section: (is it worth sending a one-year-old child to a private kindergarten). If you have no other choice, then it’s better to go to a kindergarten, where there are five people in groups, I don’t know if you have such. Usually sick children are not taken to kindergarten, you should also talk about this!

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I ask parents, teachers, specialists in child psychology, pediatricians for preschool age to respond with advice on how best to adapt the child to kindergarten, tell about your experience. A child of 3 years old, a girl, began to go to kindergarten for the first time, passed three weeks and completely refuses to attend it.

23.04.19 37 064 44

Adventures of one child, two officials and the Constitution of the Russian Federation

In September 2017, my sister moved to another city and wanted to send her child to kindergarten.

Vladislav Kultaev

lawyer and uncle

The owner of the rented apartment refused to issue temporary registration for his sister and husband with their daughter, and without it they did not want to accept the child in kindergarten. But we managed to stand our ground.

How to enroll a child in the queue for kindergarten

First, I'll tell you how everything works in theory. In order for a child to be added to the queue, an appropriate application must be submitted. This can be done in person or online.

The application must be accompanied by:

1. Passport copy.
2. A copy of the child's birth certificate or other document confirming the relationship.
3. A copy of the certificate of registration at the place of residence, if any.

This is a closed list of documents - no more can be demanded.

In the application, you can indicate the numbers of kindergartens where it is more convenient for the child to go, and officials will try to make sure that he is enrolled in one of them. But if there are no places there, they will write it down wherever they can.

If you want your child to go to a certain kindergarten, you can try to apply directly there. But in order for the application to be accepted, there must be empty places in this garden at the time of application, and this rarely happens. An ordinary person will not be able to check the occupancy of the groups - you can only see your place in the general queue if the child is enrolled in it. Therefore, if the kindergarten was refused, then you will have to apply to the MFC or the education department.

An application template is issued on the spot, sometimes they even help to fill it out. You can also download it from the Internet in advance and fill it out. There is no strict form for the template in the law, so they may vary slightly on the ground.

In response to the application, a receipt is issued for its receipt. Then you need to get a document on the placement of the child in the queue for kindergarten. If you apply through the MFC, you can usually get a notice of queuing after three days, in some MFCs more. The main thing in this document is the registration number of the application. It can be used to find out the place of the child in the queue on the website of public services or municipal educational services.

Sample application template for adding a child to the queue for kindergarten. Create a copy of the document, fill out and print

Apply online You can on the website of public services or municipal educational services. It's easier because you don't have to fill out an application and argue with employees of government agencies if they don't like something. It is enough to go through all the steps and attach scans of documents. After submitting an application, the registration number will appear on the site, by which you can track the place of the child in the queue.

To apply through the public services website, you will first need to verify your account. This can be done at the service centers - the nearest ones are shown on the site. Clients of Tinkoff Bank, Sberbank and Post Bank can also verify their identity through their personal account on the bank's website or mobile application.

Municipal sites operate differently. In some cities, applications are accepted through the electronic reception of the mayor's website, in others - on a single regional website, in others - on the websites of the local education department. In my opinion, public services are more convenient. It makes sense to bother with other sites only if electronic applications through public services are not yet accepted in your region. Fortunately, there are fewer such regions.

The term for consideration of an electronic application through public services depends on the region. For example, in Moscow they promise to do this in one day, and in Krasnodar - in 45. The answer appears in your personal account, and a letter with a notification is sent to your e-mail.

If a refusal comes, it must indicate the reason. If these are errors in the documents or something is missing, the easiest way is to correct everything and reapply. But if you disagree with the reason for the refusal, you can appeal it. The complaint must be written in free form addressed to the head of the state body that processed the application: usually this is the local education department. You can file a complaint in person, directly at the office, or through the MFC, or by e-mail or through the public services website. Available options also vary by region.

How we enrolled a child in kindergarten through the MFC

When the sister put the child on the waiting list, she did not yet know that this could be done via the Internet. Therefore, at first she tried to do it at the local MFC. The employee looked at the documents and refused to accept the application due to lack of registration. This was strange in itself: MFC employees do not assess the situation from a legal point of view, they should simply accept the application - or not accept it if something is not done right or there are not enough documents. But the registration certificate is not included in the list of required documents for adding a child to the queue for kindergarten. Therefore, they had no right to refuse their sister.

When the sister pointed out this fact, her application was nevertheless accepted. But at the same time, they added that a refusal would still come, because only children of local residents are accepted to local kindergartens.

The arguments of the MFC staff seemed logical. It became scary: the child would have to be sent to a private kindergarten or hire a nanny, and in Anapa, where the sister moved, they ask for at least 10-20 thousand a month.

Therefore, we climbed to study what the law says about registration.

When they may not be accepted into kindergarten

Education in kindergarten is a preschool stage of education. And according to the Constitution in Russia, everyone has the right to free preschool education. The law also gives the right to freedom of movement and prohibits restrictions on the rights and freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution due to lack of registration.

Admission of children to state or municipal educational organizations is regulated by the Law “On Education”. The list of reasons why a child may not be admitted to kindergarten is listed in paragraph 4 of article 67:

1. There are no places in the kindergarten.
2. In kindergarten, some subjects are studied in depth, so children are accepted by competition.
3. Kindergarten is a special educational institution of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

The list is closed - you can not add other reasons to it. It turns out that the MFC employee was mistaken: according to the law, due to the lack of registration, they have no right to refuse to queue for kindergarten. And for the illegal refusal of responsible persons, they are punished with fines from 30 to 50 thousand rubles.

As for the lack of places in kindergartens, an application is submitted for queuing. There are no places right now - okay, let me know when there are.

Recently, that the lack of places in kindergarten is the problem of local authorities, not parents. The administration must make sure that all the children who are supposed to be of age have enough places in the garden. Moreover, within reach from the place of residence of the family, and not at the other end of the city. Maybe there will be no places in a particular kindergarten - well, then offer in another, but somewhere nearby. Then the refusal to admit to this particular kindergarten will be legal, but the rights of the child will not be violated.

It is clear that most of the time there is not enough room for everyone. It happens that local courts say that this does not violate anyone's rights. But the Supreme Court's latest findings will help bring justice to those families who really need to get into kindergarten. You may have to go to court. Or maybe everything will be decided by the confident mention of arguments.

To properly speak with officials and know how to stand your ground, you can also watch the video. Lawyer Dmitry Grits tells what rights parents have and how to achieve a result without conflict.

How we submitted documents to the Department of Education

Once at the MFC the application for adding a child to the queue was nevertheless accepted, we could calmly wait for the result. But we decided to play it safe and submit the same application also to the administration of the municipality: the law does not prohibit filing it in two instances. Armed with our newfound knowledge of early childhood education laws, we set out to meet the officials.

But the deputy head of the department still refused to help us. She stated that without registration at the place of residence it is impossible to take a child to kindergarten: they say that the law binds children and their parents to the place of registration. And the administrative regulations for placing a child in a queue for kindergarten in no way, well, does not allow to bypass this restriction.

It seemed strange to me. An administrative regulation is a normative legal act that describes the procedure and standards for the provision of state or municipal services. But this is a by-law - it cannot contradict the law, and if there is a contradiction, then the law is more important. And the law is on our side - the deputy chief is wrong.

As for kindergartens and registration, there is even a ready-made decision of the Supreme Court. In 2016, a resident of Rostov-on-Don challenged in court the provision of local regulations, which tied the queue to kindergarten to registration. The court sided with her and stated that such a provision of the regulation is discriminatory.

I asked to show us the regulations. They are published on the websites of the relevant government agencies, but according to the rules, officials are also required to show them upon request. Nothing like linking a kindergarten to the place of registration of parents was found there.

After these disputes, we still accepted the application - but, like in the MFC, they warned that they would not approve it without registration.

How it all ended

Five days after the visit to the education department, the sister went to the municipal website of the Krasnodar Territory and logged in using the number that was issued by the MFC. There she found a child - on the 99th position in the queue for a place in kindergarten.

Eight months later, the turn came, and the education department gave the child a ticket to a specific kindergarten - in the area where the sister lives. There, responsible persons also tried to refer to the fact that we do not have registration. I had to arrange a legal educational program again: we talked about our rights and showed them the direction to kindergarten. This turned out to be enough. I am writing an article, and the child is in his kindergarten group.

Remember

1. The lack of registration at the place of residence does not prevent the child from receiving free pre-school education - and this is just about kindergarten.

At the moment, it has become very difficult for parents to get into kindergarten, especially in kindergarten. In queue

Today we have to correct the mistakes of the past, return the buildings to the children and build new kindergartens.

parents need to get up immediately after receiving the birth certificate of the child in the registry office. All this is due to the high birth rate of babies, the lack of kindergartens and the exit for mothers due to lack of money. There is a category of citizens who can send a child to kindergarten in the first place or without a queue.
What documents are needed:
- baby's birth certificate;
- ro passports
breeders;
- a document that confirms that you have benefits;
- statement;
- may request additional information and documents.
memo
1) In order to get a ticket to a kindergarten where you want, without a queue or in the first place, you need to write an application to the district administration, to the preschool education office, have documents confirming the benefits, and the rest of the list of documents with you.
2) If you have a family with many children, you have every right to get a place without a queue in a kindergarten. The permit will be given immediately after the distribution of places in the kindergarten. Documentary evidence will be required to confirm your large family.
3) If the family has disabled children or parents, they give a place to the kindergarten out of turn. You need to write an application to the preschool institution for a place and provide documents confirming that your child or you are disabled.
4) As an orphan, adoptive parent or guardian who has adopted an orphan, your children have every right to enter kindergarten without waiting in line. You need to write an application and attach a document confirming that you are an orphan, guardian or foster parent for children.
5) If you worked at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant and, while eliminating the accident, were exposed to radiation or suffer from radiation sickness, you can send your children to kindergarten out of turn. Must be documented.
6) Investigators, police officers, prosecutors, judges, participants in hostilities, military personnel, employees of authorities for narcotic and psychotropic drugs and substances can also send their children to kindergarten without waiting in line.

reviews: 8

1. Vita Barni: 01.08.2014

   It is not such a problem to put a child on the waiting list for kindergarten, you just need to do it right after birth. Of course, if it is already time for the child to go to the nursery, and the parents did not worry about it in advance, then this is almost impossible. Preferential categories will also have to run a lot until the documents are issued. I don’t understand why all this paperwork, if you can do everything calmly and without nerves.



Kira Kira : 07.08.2014

We, too, have not yet joined the queue, since there is no permanent place of residence. Now the little one is a year old, but I cannot predict where we will live, when it will be necessary to give him to the garden. I think to solve this issue in the future with money - no one has yet refused them. Or, in extreme cases, it will be given to a private garden, maybe this is even better. So there is always a way out.

2. Victoria Victoria : 10.08.2014

   Girls, when I faced such a problem, I decided not to send the child to kindergarten at all. At first she sat with the little one herself, and then, when she went to work, she asked her mother. I believe that no one is better than a grandmother to look after my son. In addition, he is already weakened, often suffers from colds, and in kindergarten he would have picked up a bunch of infections in general. My friends who take children to nurseries have already been to the hospital several times with chickenpox and rubella.

We advise you not to hesitate and start solving this issue in advance. In recent years, the country's authorities have opened new educational institutions, and at the same time the procedure for enrolling children in them has changed. Smart parents are looking for possible options so that the child can get into kindergarten without a queue. The information below will help you resolve this issue.

How to identify a child in kindergarten

Every citizen has the right to enroll his child in a preschool institution. There is a certain system. To get a referral to kindergarten, you need to be in a special electronic queue. This should be done after the baby was born and his birth is confirmed by registration with the registry office. The lengthy procedure was caused by an increase in the birth rate, the closure of a number of departmental kindergartens, a shortage of places in preschool institutions and the need for many mothers to go to work ahead of schedule.

In most regions, it is possible to be on the list in several kindergartens at the same time, sometimes the number of options can be limited or reduced to one. Distribution occurs automatically with the help of special programs, parents will be able to choose the preferred option if the baby goes to several kindergartens at once. Those who entered the list later than usual and the preschool age of the child, for example, 4 years, are more likely. Many already attend preschool institutions, do not take a place in the queue, or the work of someone's parents does not allow them to pick up their children on time, someone refused the kindergarten for another reason and they are being added to groups.

There is a certain category of citizens who have the right to send their child to kindergarten without waiting in line. Each region independently determines the category of persons who can be given the status of "beneficiary". If one or both parents have this status, the baby must get into the municipal kindergarten without waiting in line, but in order of priority among the children of beneficiaries applying for a place in an institution whose competence is education before school. When applying, it is important not only to indicate what kind of benefit you have, but also to certify its availability within a period not exceeding 2 weeks. To do this, you must provide the relevant documents to the kindergarten.

Benefits for large families

Parents whose children have the right to go to any kindergarten without a queue should apply in writing to the department of preschool education (it is supervised by the district administration), have benefits confirmed by documents and the necessary certificates.

If the family belongs to the category of large families, children, in accordance with the law, must go to kindergarten without waiting in line. Documentary confirmation of the large status is required. Among other rights of such families, the right to pay for staying in a preschool institution on preferential terms (70% discount) is also highlighted. The discount should apply to additional services such as clubs, which are sometimes forced on parents, but they are not informed about the existence of the discount.

For single mothers

The child of a woman belonging to the category of single mothers has the right to a place in a kindergarten. But there is a nuance when determining a baby in a preschool child care institution. The situation is as follows: the number of single mothers has increased in the country, their children are forced to “share” their right to go to kindergarten without waiting in line. This reason has become fundamental for the introduction of the so-called preferential queue. The law determined that when paying for kindergarten attendance, single mothers are entitled to a 50% discount.

What other legal options are there?

In addition to the above options, which give the right to get into the garden without a queue, there are a number of legal ways to be on the list of "lucky ones":

• A disabled child or whose parents are disabled has the right to a place in a preschool out of turn. The law provides for requirements: you must write a statement and attach a document proving the disability of the baby or parent.
• An orphan who lives with a guardian or with foster parents has every right to enter the kindergarten if he has the necessary documents confirming this fact.
• In the event that one parent or both were participants in the liquidation of the disaster at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, received exposure, their children have the right to a ticket to a preschool institution out of turn. It is necessary to confirm the fact of participation in troubleshooting at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant.
• A prosecutor, an investigator, a police officer, a serviceman, a judge, an employee of the control authorities for narcotic and psychotropic substances and preparations, a participant in hostilities - this is a list of officials who have the right to receive a “pass” for their children to a preschool institution without a queue.

What documents do you need to provide

After receiving a referral to a kindergarten, you must provide the following documents, which will be reported by the head of the kindergarten or educator, whose group will become a group for your baby (for more detailed information, visit the educational Internet portal of your city):

• application addressed to the head;
• passport of one of the parents, a scanned copy of the main pages;
• birth certificate, citizenship stamp, their copy;
• documents in which it is necessary to register the presence of benefits for admission (if any).

Some additional document may be required. The nurse writes out a referral to the district pediatrician, as a medical examination of the baby is necessary. The date of the first visit to the preschool will be announced later.

How is enrollment in a preschool institution

In the regions, the enrollment of children in kindergarten may occur at different times. From the moment when the parents received a response in the form of a message to the email address about sending their baby to a specific preschool institution, a month is given to collect and provide the necessary documents. If the parents are not satisfied with the proposed kindergarten (in the wrong area, for example), they can contact the municipal department of preschool education with a request for other options, they should write a refusal (it must be accepted and registered) from the previously proposed place. This decision is reasonable in a situation where a place is found in another kindergarten.

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